October 2011 Chemo group

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  • barbyjean
    barbyjean Member Posts: 108
    edited December 2011

    Hi, everyone. Just got caught up on two weeks of posts. I am so tired these days that I don't even remember to open my computer, it's all I can do to take care of myself and keep up with dishes and laundry. I am two weeks after my 4th T/C, and according to my onc, I am doing great. I haven't had any nausea, what with the steroids and two bags of nausea meds before the poisons go in. My nails are looking funny, I have a week or so of numb toes, but the only really awful part is the first week after chemo, I can barely move, and my head is in a really scary place. I feel like I'm walking through the valley of the shadow of death, and I cry a lot! Then, day 6 or 7, my head clears and I go back to the world of the living. 

    But now, after four treatments, the fatigue and weakness are accumulating and I spend most of the day on the couch. I have two more to go - one right after Christmas, one three weeks later. Not looking forward to them, but sure as hell don't want the cancer to ever come back. My big girl panties are getting really worn out. Maybe I'll have a bonfire when it's all done!!

    My friends have been great, for the most part. I am divorced and live alone, and I think that makes a big difference. They know no one is here taking care of things for me. And from the beginning I told them I would be needing their help. But this treatment goes on for so many months, and they get caught up in their own lives. So, I'm grateful for every bit of help I get. Still, as you all know, it takes everything we have sometimes to make it through another day.

    My best wishes to all of you, may your holidays be filled with blessings.

    Barb 

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  • TAPPY
    TAPPY Member Posts: 283
    edited December 2011

    Sherry - that is what I had to do to....as well - it was killing me.

    The stuff I had from surgery helped the pain....and then the lortabs helped that my doc prescribed...but they just chilled me out and I really did not sleep sleep....like I did with the other stuff...

    Today is day 5 after Taxol and the pain is just now starting to subsisded so hopefully it wont be cumlative and just last for a few days...

    I am also hot flashing like crazy !!!

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  • cfdr
    cfdr Member Posts: 549
    edited December 2011

    barbyjean,

     I have spent so much time on the sofa in the last 3 months that I joked I was starting an Occupy the Sofa movement. My reaction seems to be contrary; I've actually found the 2nd and 3rd weeks getting easier after multiple treatments, while the first week does get harder. I hope your friends come around again...I know it's hard over the holidays but what is the Christmas spirit about if not helping a friend in need?

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  • fredntan
    fredntan Member Posts: 1,821
    edited December 2011

    should I just reach out to my friends? we never talked on phone. texted some. had a lot of work friends. but I don't go to work anymore. I'm just really disapppointed and hurt people aren't FBing me, or texting. I know people are busy. maybe my friends weren't really my friends. IDK

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  • cfdr
    cfdr Member Posts: 549
    edited December 2011

    fredntan,

    When I was first diagnosed, I dropped out of the social scene quite a bit, but didn't want my husband to have to do the same. So he would see our friends, who were all very concerned, and wanted to help but didn't know what to do. But none of them ever actually called me and asked what they could do.

    Then my husband had to go out of town while I was on chemo, and I emailed several friends and asked directly if they could come over one evening with dinner for me and just hang out. They were all glad to do so, and it was a lot of fun and I got to eat some great meals.

    I'd wager that if you called your friends and asked directly, they would respond. Maybe just say that you're very tired and can't really get out much, but also aren't up for any elaborate entertaining, but could they pick up some take-out and come by one evening? Maybe stop at the store on their way? Of course during the holidays it might be tougher for people, but just knowing exactly what it is that they can do to help seems to make a big difference. Good luck!

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  • wildrumara
    wildrumara Member Posts: 450
    edited December 2011

    Barby Jean - You and I are on the same chemo schedule.  I was supposed to go for my 5th treatment this Friday, but backed it up until after Christmas, so I am going Tuesday.  The treatments are getting harder for me.  It's to the point where I am now dreading going!   The first week is just awful.  In addition,  I am having so much tearing of my eyes....no one else has really mentioned that SE on the boards,  although I have read about it on line.  It is pretty much non-stop now, which sucks.  It's hard to keep my make-up looking nice, which makes me feel less attractive, which makes me feel even worse emotionally,.. etc.... BUT AGAIN, have to keep telling myself that this is temporary.  It's going to be a long Winter......that's it.  After this Winter, things will be looking up!!!  

    Again, anyone else having tearing of their eyes??  I think I read its from the Cytoxan......???  My MO mentioned it can one of two things.....dry mucous membranes in my eyes and sinuses, or blocked ducts.  I will tolerate it (maybe) through chemo, but if its lasts too much longer AFTER chemo, I will go to an opthalmologist. 

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  • auntienance
    auntienance Member Posts: 4,216
    edited December 2011

    Cfdr is right. I think my friends assumed that if I didn't ask for help I was doing ok. They were sincere in their desire to help and jumped right in when asked. A few were more proactive, bless them.

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  • auntienance
    auntienance Member Posts: 4,216
    edited December 2011

    Wildrumara, I have MAJOR tearing going on after TX #4. Previous treatments caused more dry eyes. Don't know why the last one is different. I was told it was the taxotere.

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  • cfdr
    cfdr Member Posts: 549
    edited December 2011

    My eyes teared a lot during cycles 2 and 3 (TC), not at all during cycle 1 and just a little in cycle 4.

    For those of you who are in or beyond your last cycle: once the physical fatigue subsides, did it still take you a while to get back to "normal"? I find that I have a lot of inertia...like I'm so used to doing so little that it's difficult for me to ramp up to doing more. I made a list of things I wanted to do today...all things that can be done sitting at the computer, nothing strenuous...but I find myself just staring at the list like it was a mountain. I'm not fatigued and I'm not depressed; but even though my energy is returning, I find it difficult to get motivated. Maybe I'm just being impatient with myself; I'm only on day 14 of my last cycle. Part of me wants to get my butt in gear, but my butt wants to lie on the sofa and read a book!

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  • Lady-di
    Lady-di Member Posts: 150
    edited December 2011

    I've had alot of tearing also. I'm constantly dabbing with tissues. Now I fill my pockets with Kleenex and if it's not the eyes it's the nose!!

    I have found that only a few people in my life have really stepped up and been there for me. I think the others just don't know what to say or do. They will ask DH how i am but havent talked to me. I also have family who I have not heard from or ones that I would have to call to keep them up to date. Got to the point where I thought if they want to know then they could call me. I have been getting support from people I work with in the way of emails and even texts and I'm so grateful to those people. I have never been a person who would ask others for help in the past. Im trying to do it more now but it's not an easy thing to do!! I agree with others that if you ask they are more then happy to help.



    Tomorrow I go for my second heart scan to make sure everything is good now that AC is done and before I start Herceptin with my next taxol tx.

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  • fredntan
    fredntan Member Posts: 1,821
    edited December 2011

    I guess i'll extend my self putt,see if some of my friends wa.nt to get together.

    I've been thinking more and more about applying for disability. I've alreadymonths been off work for 4 months. Chemotherapy not over till end of feb.. my PT said I shouldn't lift anything over ten pounds. We frequently get large patients we have to pull over to procedure table. Im not sure what the radiology is going to do to me.

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  • wildrumara
    wildrumara Member Posts: 450
    edited December 2011

    AUNTIE NANCE and DIA - Yes, it is the Taxotere that causes the tearing, not Cytoxan. 

    CFDR - Treatment #4 kicked my butt...period.  I am still not feeling well.  Some days are better than others, but I am definitely not back to normal".  Describing as not having inertia is spot on!  It takes me forever to complete something too!  I was exercising regularly during my first two treatments and then cut back with my third and now I am doing absolutely nothing.  Not motivated at all to even walk the dog around the block.  I know that would probably help with some of my symptoms, but I can't get myself to do it.  Granted, it is the holidays and my time has been consumed with shopping, and preparing, and sending out cards.  I asked myself today ":WTH was I thinking?"  This was the one year I had an excuse not to send cards out......but, there I was today, putting stamps and address labels on over 80 cards this morning.   I am very impatient too....my poor kiddos.  Talk about poor....my  poor husband takes the brunt of my frustration.....he's really stepped-up too.  Anyway, I try to tell myself, its just one Winter season....I can handle it.  It's raining like crazy here in Western PA.  So, wish this was snow!!!   HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

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  • fredntan
    fredntan Member Posts: 1,821
    edited December 2011

    I forgot to say one of my childhood friends was Dx today today . I recently reconnected with her on FB. So sad she's going down this road too. Can't sleep

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  • Carla9112
    Carla9112 Member Posts: 162
    edited December 2011

    Hi ladies - just checking in on my sisters.  Like you all I've been trying to get ready for Christmas. 

    I wasn't really looking forward to the holidays but after the last few days I've been reminded in a horrible way that I should treasure each day that I get with my family.  A friend at work who was 34 years old had a massive heart attack last week and died today. She left work one day last week not knowing that she would never return. 

    Her sudden death reminded me AGAIN that life is so precious.  You would think that after going through all of the "cancer stuff" that I would treasure each day.  I don't though -- I'm stll pretty selfish in that I often feel sorry for myself and have pity parties. I guess when it comes to dying - which we are all going to do at some point - I always thought cancer would be one of the worst ways.  But after this past week I realized it might not be so bad.  At least there is time to prepare; time to make sure your friends and family know how much you love and care about them; time to get things right in your life; and maybe time to even do some of those things you've always wanted to do.  A sudden death doesn't afford you those opportunities.  My friend never got to say goodbye to her 14 year old son.

    I prayed today that when I wake up each morning that I am reminded that I've just been given a gift.  Gifts are meant to be enjoyed!

    Hope each of you have a good night.  Talk to you later!

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  • Moonflower83
    Moonflower83 Member Posts: 92
    edited December 2011

    Carla,

    I´m really sorry :-( Things like that should not happen, but they do...and it´s so sad. 

    I also was reminded today that it could be worse. A member of a german breast cancer site had her surgery and got a stroke ( apoplexy) three hours after she got home. And she is young, in her 40ties and everything was ok the days she was in the hospital. 

    I also wasn´t looking forward to the holidays, because I know that there will be times, when I get sad. This is so crazy, we should celebrate christmas more than ever! But it is only human to feel sorry for oneself. Because it is also very sad, that we have to do this cancer thing, go through treatments and live with this fear. So, don´t get mad because of your feelings, they are normal.

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  • stjude10
    stjude10 Member Posts: 390
    edited December 2011

    I also have had a huge problem w/teary eyes and runny nose. It was worse after 3 and 4 AC. The minute I go outside it's like my face is a collander. I go from eyes to nose the whole time. My eyelashes have thinned but I still have some. I think all of my nose hair is gone and there's nothing up there to slow the drip.

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  • TallM
    TallM Member Posts: 1,596
    edited December 2011

    Hi all:I've missed you & the post, still have to catch up. I spent 11 days in the hospital. 6 of those in the ICU w/a respiratior. I'm feeling better now & was strong enough to start Chemo again Mon. Brain Chemo is finished so now they are going to put Herceptin in my spine. Much better & less SE than the methotrexate. I just hope this stuff is helping & zapping all those nasty cancer cells.



    Christmas is coming & looks like it will be a good one for me & hopefully all of you:) Have a great week. More later-Malinda xxx

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  • wildrumara
    wildrumara Member Posts: 450
    edited December 2011

    Sorry about your friend Carla....that is such a tragedy!  TallM - good to hear from you again!  Wow, 11 days in the hospital.....I'm sorry you had to go through that.  Glad that you are home for the holiday......that is a great Christmas present.  God Bless!

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  • WIMusicMaker
    WIMusicMaker Member Posts: 78
    edited December 2011

    Hello everyone!

    Malinda It is great to hear from you! I am sorry you were in the hospital but so glad you are out and feeling better! 

    I have not experienced watery eyes, but my nose is constantly running!

    I had a radiation planning meeting today. One of the biggest surprises is they really do not want me to go back to work full time but part time is okay! I was anticipating going back to work some time in late January. She said that I would really need an afternoon nap by the 3rd or 4th week. Also I am eligible for a clinical trial that deals with the amount and length of radiation. Instead of 61/2 weeks, it would only be 3 weeks but at a higher intensity. More decisions to make!!! FYI to any of you who are going to radiation after chemo, they said they will start radiation 3-4 weeks after my last chemo which is on Dec 27 for me!

    I think all of us are going to have ups and downs during this process. Think of everything we have been through from the diagnosis, surgery, chemo, and the constant waiting for test results and the next appointment! We need to give ourselves some slack right now and when we are through treatment and better healed we can start living our life in a better way! Every day we wake up we can start all over again!

    I wish all of you beautiful, brave, and bald women a joyous holiday season! Thank you for being here and sharing your experiences as we go through this journey together.

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  • TAPPY
    TAPPY Member Posts: 283
    edited December 2011

    Malinda...I am so glad you are home...sending you healing thoughts and prayers.

    I feel much better today - 7 days after Taxol.  I just wish I could sleep, I mean really sleep...for like 6 hours....I would be happy

    Hope everyone has a great SE free weekend and is able to enjoy the holidays.

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  • Lady-di
    Lady-di Member Posts: 150
    edited December 2011

    Melinda... It's so good to hear from you again and glad your home for Christmas.



    Happy holidays to everyone and hope you are all able to enjoy them SE free with your family and friends.



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  • fredntan
    fredntan Member Posts: 1,821
    edited December 2011

    Malinda-glad to hear your home in your own bed. Sending healing thoughts your way.

     My sister called-wanted to vent about her christmas issues-really couldn't give her any support. sometimes I feel like she has no idea.  

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  • fredntan
    fredntan Member Posts: 1,821
    edited December 2011

    Does anyone else have hand tremors? I noticed it a few weeks to ago and think its getting worse. Im 44

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  • Moonflower83
    Moonflower83 Member Posts: 92
    edited December 2011

    Do you get Taxol? I had this with my eyelid and my fingers after session 2. Perhaps taking Vitamin B could help. My onc said this is normal, when you get Taxol/Taxotere.

    Merry Christmas to all of you!

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  • fredntan
    fredntan Member Posts: 1,821
    edited December 2011

    yes I'm on taxol. not sure if i'm taking B or not. so many freaken pills these days. just sick of it.

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  • Lucie_inthesky
    Lucie_inthesky Member Posts: 9
    edited December 2011

    Happy Christmas to you all !!!



    I had my LAST chemo round this Friday !!! I am so happy ...it will be a slow Christmas but a nice New Year Eves ...



    Fredntan - I have eye tremors ...I am on taxodère same family as taxol ...they come and go sometime on both eyes...the only thing I notice is that they increase when I don't have enough sleep...



    Question to all - I will get radiotherapy and I was surprised to learn that it won't start until 6-8 weeks after the last chemo round... I had 4 rounds of TC - Anyone who have similar 'waiting' period.



    Cancer and Love - The most incredible thing is happening to me...I started dating a man a wonderful man ...who is not afraid of cancer (some cancer history in this family) ...who share the same interests as I (music,cycling,cooking,ski,meditaion, even green tea lol) ...who does not care that I am bold...who find me sexy regardless of my scars !!! He is different than all the men I have been with before ...I am walking away from my old relationship pattern...I think cancer is making me see people a lot differently. So single survivor ...don't desesperate it CAN happen ...!!! Could not wish of a better gift for Christmas...



    Tata for now !!!



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  • cfdr
    cfdr Member Posts: 549
    edited December 2011

    Merry Christmas to all! I hope you all have a restful day free of side effects.

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  • TAPPY
    TAPPY Member Posts: 283
    edited December 2011

    Gearing up for #2 Taxol and not looking forward to it this Thursday.  Yes it is better than AC but not looking forward to the bone pain again.

    I am going to drive my self (it is 10 minutes from my house) - why is it the people that saythey will help you always have something else come up

    Have any of you driven your self back and forth after Taxol ?

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  • stjude10
    stjude10 Member Posts: 390
    edited December 2011

    Tappy-good luck on 2nd tx.. Hope it's better for you than the first.

    Hope everone has enjoyed their holiday, no matter what you celebrate.

    Have a wicked cold and have been down with it for 3 days so far.

    Have my 1st Taxol DD today. Love those steroids...NOT! Setting the alarm in the middle of the night to take them, glucose shooting through the roof, red splotchy face. What's not to like?

    A bit nervous, not knowing what to expect. I know everyone's different. Hopefully I'll just sleep thru most of it.

    The good news here from IL, we are having our first snow this morning, and it is beautiful!

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  • sherrybaby
    sherrybaby Member Posts: 80
    edited December 2011

    Getting ready for chemo # 7 of 8 on Thursday. You would think I would be excited since I am almost done, but I have just started dreading each one more and more. I cannot figure out why.

    Tappy, I hope the bone pain stays away from both of us this time!

    I hope everyone has enjoyed their holidays and that the New Year brings all of us better things!

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