telling the children

I told my kids everything upfront, they were 10 and 13.  I feared that they would notice a change in me and I wanted them to know why.  I also told them that everything would be O.k. since I did not want them worrying about me.  Good luck with your decision and your treatment!

I think if you reassure them that you will be fine, they will be ok too. You don't say how old your kids are which would make a difference. If they are young-ish, they probably won't think about it too much if they don't see you.

This is hardly the same - but most of my family, siblings etc, are in England. As they didn't see me going through treatment, I don't think they worried much at all.

Good luck.

I was Dx when my kids were turning 8, 17 and 20...the 2 that lived at home were told the same day I got my Dx...my DD who was away at college....we agonized how to tell her...but we ended up telling her later that week-end...the following week when I got more bad news we share with the kids...we kept them "abreast" (no pun intended) on things as we had information...so they knew Dx, Tx....my two kids who lived at home came with us to the hospital when I had my bilat...they left before I went to the OR to go out to lunch and a movie and came back to the hospital when I was in my room....After surgery and before chemo, my youngest DD read the book, The Year My Mother was Bald....I worked through Tx and we tried to keep life as "normal" as possible....Youngest DD even came to some of my chemos and came on the week-end when I went for IV hydration...she watched movies and got snacks from the vending machine so she was happy.....Share what your kids can handle, but don't hide from them...all the best to you

I had a 8, 5 1/2, 2 1/2 and 3 month old at the time of my diagnosis.  I was truthful with them.  The eldest got a more detailed description of what was going on and the youngest knew that I was sick, was going to be receiveing treatment that would make me sick and go bald and that I would be ok.  I couldn't hide the truth. I also set up an appointment with a counselor for my oldest children to talk through their emotions and questions. They each went once and it helped I think.  I was diagnosed on December 13th of last year and decided to tell the kids before Christmas so that they weren't the only ones who didn't know.  I didn't want all of us to have to hide something that big from them.  I also told their teachers before I told them so that they could watch out for any behavior changes at school. We had very supportive teachers and that helped the kids as well.  The situation is different for you as your kids are older and away at school, but I would recommend telling the school just in case you kids react to the situation.   In the end, you need to do what is right for you.

Best wishes to you. 

I think you should tell them at the begining of their visit so they will have time to get over the initial shock and talk it out during their visit.

If you wait until they are about to leave, or after they leave, they will be alone to deal with questions and emotions.

You can't not tell them.

I remember telling my kids. They were eventually cool with the information.  It was hard at first. 

 My daughter (then 8) said, "We better cut your hair and get you a hat.. we don't want your hairs all over the house".. my son #2 went outside and threw up.. son #1 was a gentleman.. "Is there anything special that i can do for you".

My child was young, under 10 when I was diagnosed. I didnt share my diagnosis.  I did state I was going to have some minor surgery and may stay overnight. I had some bad Tissue that needed to come out.

I feel strongly that children don't need adult worries. If I didn't need or accept  chemo , my child  would never need to know I had cancer . At a much more appropriate age, I plan to share information to ensure proper guidance on screening.

If I needed chemo, a good friend and psychologist shared with me to keep it age appropriate.

" Mommy is sick, I have bad tissue in my body the doctors will remove and the medicine they will give me to keep it away and will probably make my hair fall out; I may look silly for awhile, but the medicine I will be taking will help me get better:"

Your children a much different age range, so obviously you can share more information. But I guess I'd still feel that you could wait to see what the exact pathology is so that you can share tx plans and if the BC is a early stage or may need more extensive treatment.

Good luck to you. I am so sorry that you were diagnosed but glad you found this site. A ton ofr great information shared among these pages!!