No reconstruction- Happy w/your decision?
Comments
-
Barbara (Starak), I work for the insurance company (gasp!)...nothing to do with payments, claims, or policy, but I can check it out prettily easily. I think I remember reading that if the gene test comes back positive, I'm covered for a double MX. And, I'd get them both removed and have no replacements - in a NY minute!
-
I want to add something to Erica's (Barbara) suggestion about forms. The other wonderful thing about forms is they are not life decisions. You can change your mind 6 times before you get out the door in the morning, go up in size, go down, take 'em off.....
I did make the mistake of thinking I could put on one of those heavily padded pushup bras in the dressing room just to get an idea. WRONG!!! Miserably uncomfortable and looked ghastly. If you ever even allow yourself to contemplate forms, do yourself a favor and get a professional fitting. When I did, I have to admit they looked amazing and with the exception of The Mutant dog ears, were quite comfortable. Had to try on quite a few to find the right size form with the right bra as some just looked wrong and others did not work at all with the fluffy stuff under my arms. I came away knowing that 1. There was no option, The Mutants had to go and 2. Forms are a viable option should I ever feel the need - or not. There are many alternative options to the expensive stuff if you want to branch out, but if you go down that road, I would advise that at least once, get a professional fitting.
Barbara
-
Thanks for adding that, Barbara. I want to further add that for most women, non-reconstruction is a process (though a less painful one than the process of reconstruction, which usually involves multiple surgeries). It took me quite a bit of trial and error until I found breast forms and bras that were comfortable for me. I am fortunate in that my insurance allows me new forms once a year, but I'm also careful to try out forms and return them if they aren't working out (most breast form manufacturers and retailers allow you to return forms for up to thirty days). I wear some forms in regular bras, others in mastectomy bras, others in pocketed camisoles. I've always put comfort first (even before my mastectomy) and wouldn't wear forms at all if I hadn't found comfortable ones.
Barbara
-
I opted for no reconstruction and I love it! I feel that should anything else pop up, I will be able to see it and feel it very easily. Also I like to run, work out, play golf, hike, etc. and not having to wear a jog bra is wonderful!
-
Well, surgery for the BMX no recon was on December 2nd, and although the drains won;t come out until Monday, I am happy I chose to be breast free. The biopsies were all clean and I am soooooo relieved. I do have a questions, though. My chest still feels heavy, like the boobs are still there. Is that normal?
-
Safetyboater - I'm still waiting to see the PS, so forgive my ignorance. I did read The Reconstruction Guidebook. It seems to me there are basically 4 options for reconstruction??
Diep - Very long surgery, long recovery
Tram - Longer surgery, longer recovery, some muscles permanently compromised?
Implants - About twice the recovery time over no recon, multiple surgeries, implants go under pecs, so physical limitations regarding pec muscle activity?? for life? implant have to be redone on average every ten years?
Alloderm Direct to Implant - It looks like this goes under the pec muscle at the top?? and the muscle may be cut? Implants have to be replaced also.
Is there something else out? My Mx is prophylatic, so I will have good skin pocket. I suppose it is too much to ask they they just scoop out the old stuff and in pop in an implant without messing with the muscle.
Any advice would be appreciated.
-
Murmist, that's totally normal as you heal. Wait until the nerves start regenerating and you get zapped!! Also, you might get phantom itches. Try scratching a breast that isn't there anymore! You will start to feel relief very soon, you're only 2 weeks out.
Lucy, they're coming up with fat grafting with a Brava process. Check it out.
-
I was fine to see my scars, my doctor used glue, so when I woke up, it was all right there under my gown. I had cried right up to the day of surgery and when I saw such a neat clean scar, I was actually happy.
My kids (early 20's) both were eager to see my scars and were supportive of my choices.
I too embrace being flat as well as forms when I wish to not be flat. Mostly people don't seem to notice my one breast being gone, which I have to tell you, I thought was odd that no one said anything. But now I have lost both breasts and I am fine with the whole thing.
I honestly haven't cried since surgery, but I do have some "poor me"days
Erica, could you share your comfortable foobs brand? So far all I seem to be able to wear all day are the TLC microbead foobs...and they need adjustments as the day goes on...
-
I didn't have a choice, no immediate reconstruction for me. I still have my drains so that could be the reason I am having problems figuring out what to wear. Also, I am overweight, so my belly sticks out further than my chest. I have been wearing camis with the puffs, but they ride up high. After the bmx I am thinking I do not want more surgery and recovery time, but I do want boobs! Maybe dressing will be easier as I heal! I have a year to think about it anyways, so I do need to get used to my new body.
-
Bak, you will learn to stand differently without your heavy breasts and your belly won't seem so prominant. I described it as a child's belly. It will take time, but it will change, even with no weight loss!!
-
Hi Bak, try to give yourself a bit of a break. It will get easier, I promise. As you heal and get used to the new configuration, try out some different foobs and bras and things, you will find something that works for you. Those drains are annoying as all get out.
-
Barb: Thanks for the info! Yep, that's what it feels like...phantom boobs. I have seen the incisions and they look good. Just some glue holdng them together. Won't be able to really look in the mirror until tomorrow, but so far so good. I am happy with my decision. At this point anything that involves more surgery or recovery time is not for me and I really like not wearing a bra. It's winter in upstate NY so no one looks like they have boobs under those heavy coats and sweaters!
-
Lisa, even though you don't see stitches, they are underneath your skin. The incision heals cleaner without the top skin having stitches in it. So be careful not to lift anything too heavy or twist awkwardly. Your incision will remind you that there are stitches!!! I'm 3 years out an to this day if I turn a certain way I get a tug!!
-
Barb, Could you say more about postire? Should I be concentrating more on holding my belly in? I feel it is huge,, like a little kids belly and don't know what to do. Diet, is obvious, but posture is certainly an answer too.
-
Hi crystalphm,
I don't know if you've had a chance to check out my website, BreastFree.org. In the Breast Forms section, I recommend breast forms I and other women have found comfortable. If you scroll down the page, you'll find detailed descriptions of both silicone and non-silicone forms. As far as my personal favorites, lately I've been wearing my ABC First Forms a lot, as well as the Amoena Leisure Forms with Comfort + (I like the weighted version, style 132--since they're foam, they're still very light, but the weight gives them just enough to keep them in place in even the lightest of bras). Both these forms are reviewed (with links) on my website. There are some nice lightweight silicone forms, too. I personally like the Anita Tritex (not too many shops carry them, though), the Amoena Energy, and the Silique Comfort Lite.
I want to weigh in on your posture question, too. I had slouchy posture before my BMX. My physical therapist really helped me learn to stand up straight, with shoulders back and down. At first I felt as if I were thrusting my chest forward, but I could see in the mirror that it didn't look that way -- it just looked as if I were standing up nice and straight. I've worked on it and feel as if standing that way de-emphasizes my abdomen. I try to hold my abs in, too, but that's hard!
Barbara
-
Crystal, once the heavy weight of my breasts were off, I was shocked to see how my body was using my belly for ballast for the breasts!!! As I got used to not having to carry my heavy breasts around, I stood up straighter and my gut naturally sucked in a bit. I still make an effort to suck in my gut more when I actually care what anyone thinks of me! Oh...and shoulders back!
-
Secretgardn: I have spent the last 18 months trying to reconstruct...I started with BMX w/TE's 6/10, the prior radiated side had lots of problems which over a year later resulted in having the TE removed (after months of healing necrosis, the skin just opened up and tE was exposed). Since August I have had one side deconstructed, the other still in TE. This weekend I made the decision to give up the pursuit of reconstruction and to have the remaining TE removed as well. I don't know why it took me so long to get to this point but I'm really at peace about it. I'm ready to put cancer behind me and move on with my life! The recovery after having the TE removed was really pretty easy. It was an outpatient procedure that took about 45 minutes. I never even took a pain pill. I was back at work after about a week, although when I have the 2nd removed I am going to take 2 weeks as I felt I came back a little early.
Thank all of you on this group/thread, I have spent many hours reading, looking at pictures, etc, of the experiences of those who decided not to reconstruct and it has been very helpful.
-
Secretgardn: I have spent the last 18 months trying to reconstruct...I started with BMX w/TE's 6/10, the prior radiated side had lots of problems which over a year later resulted in having the TE removed (after months of healing necrosis, the skin just opened up and tE was exposed). Since August I have had one side deconstructed, the other still in TE. This weekend I made the decision to give up the pursuit of reconstruction and to have the remaining TE removed as well. I don't know why it took me so long to get to this point but I'm really at peace about it. I'm ready to put cancer behind me and move on with my life! The recovery after having the TE removed was really pretty easy. It was an outpatient procedure that took about 45 minutes. I never even took a pain pill. I was back at work after about a week, although when I have the 2nd removed I am going to take 2 weeks as I felt I came back a little early.
Thank all of you on this group/thread, I have spent many hours reading, looking at pictures, etc, of the experiences of those who decided not to reconstruct and it has been very helpful.
-
good luck, jblcsw10 i think the smartest thing i did was remove the implants. the recovery was easy and i feel great and eveyrone asks me all the time if i lost weight when i am flat. I feel healthier and look better . hope this helps
-
Shippy, I am glad to hear you are doing so well!
-
barbe, i hear you about the breasts on the belly. I was shocked to see my big bellied figure without the large breasts. I am more uncomfortable about the big belly without boobs than being breastless. Now being breastless, i really enjoy!!!
-
Jbicsw thank you for sharing your experience. I'm sorry you had so much trouble, but happy you are comfortable with your decision and I wish up you the best with your upcoming surgery.
Yesterday I met with the plastic surgeon and discussed the option of eventual removal. Obviously, I will have to tolerate them through treatment. Second AC tomorrow, just when I'm feeling almost human again. I'm sure you all know.
I asked her to remove a bit more saline, I think I have apron 120 ccs on each side, and it did take some of the sharp feeling away. I am also healed well enough to be able to resume many of my previous activities. Also, having them immediately done means I don't know what the comfort
level may or may not have been without any reconstruction.
I slept better last night than I have in months.
One more question, once they were removed, did it also rid you of the tight band like feeling like when your bra is too tight?
I am concerned about my skin not holding up after radiation, it's already so thin on that side, and don't look forward to endless corrective surgeries.
Thank you all for sharing. Whatever I decide, your insights and experiences have and continue to support, inform and guide myself and so many others.
Thank you and hugs to all. -
Secret, I did not have any recon and I have that duct tape feeling still. In fact, I just posted about it elsewhere, because it is driving me nutty. So, I think your point about the discomfort not necessarily being from the TEs is probably a good one.
I also feel that my surgeon sugar-coated the recovery, which is why I am now trying to figure out how much of this discomfort is likely to be chronic, and if not chronic how long it needs to let up.
-
Seacret, I am fortunate enough to have NO residual pain. My doc was a general surgeon so he didn't mess around with my muscles "just in case" I wanted recon. Your muscles have been messed up. That is a question that you probably won't get an answer to until you get deconstructed. If your PS has put in extra stitches to hold a pocket shape, have those released if possible. Make sure your PS knows you are SERIOUS about this!!
-
Barb yes the musle having been altered is a concern.
Right now I'm trying to accept that this is a temporary discomfort that I'll just have to deal with. Who knows, if I had chosen not to reconstruct, I might have always wondered about doing so. When deciding about surgery, it was more or less presented to me that reconstruction would be an important part of my recovery. Maybe so for some, and I'm happy for those for whom it's been successful.
At least now I'm pretty certain that implants will not be for me.
More important to me is comfort and mobility. And sleeping on my stomach! -
I did not have recon, but I did experience the tight band...duck tape...feeling for the first couple of months post MX. It has lessened over the past couple of months. I did go to OT for 6 weeks which helped a lot! I can still feel that sensation sometimes if I lean back on the couch in an awkward posture. Good luck to you.
-
Secretgardn - I had my expanders in for a month before PS started fills. Once the drains were removed, I felt much better, but I was still a little sore from the pocket work. I did end up feeling pretty good before the expansions started, no feeling of a tight band. I had a very painful expansion, and after the exchange surgery I had that tight band feeling. Not until I had my reconstruction undone (implants and capsules removed and muscle tacked back to the chest wall) in April this year, did I get relief from the tight band feeling. Even much of the numbness on the sides of the chest went away. I know this kind of thing varies from person to person, but I went from having chronic pain for two years to 99% pain free. My body did not like the expanders or implants from day one. I still wish I had never opted for the surgery, but I made a decision I thought was right at the time. It would have been a good choice if I had listened to my body and stopped the expansion when it was so painful. Good for you for listening to your body and doing what you feel is right for you. I wish you the best with your treatments.
jblcsw - I'm sorry you had such problems trying to reconstruct. It really is a tough road, and it's hard to know when to call it a day. I'm glad you feel at peace with your decision. Once I decided to deconstruct, it was such a relief. It takes such mental and emotional energy to keep in that fighting mode to make things work. At least after the 2nd expander is removed, you won't have to face any further surgeries, and you can take that fighting energy and put it toward moving on with your life. Good luck with your next surgery, and I hope all heals well and you can be on your way! -
I knew enough not to try reconstruction because of my Fibromyalgia. It just wouldn't work. I feel so bad for those of you who are going through it TWICE!!!! Congrats on being brave enough to have another surgery to deconstruct.
-
I've made my decision for a BMX because of my risk factors, including being a DES daughter. 12 years ago I took Tamoxifen (5 years) for LCIS. But, all the surveillance couldn't prevent BC, I had a lumpectomy in Oct for multifocal IDC and it also showed DCIS and LCIS After the 1st Lumpectomy, I had an infection/cellulitis. After 2 oral antibiotics, I had antibotiotics by IV for 10 days. After the 2nd reincision to remove more suspicious areas, I had an allerigic reaction to something and took steroids for a week.
Now, I am trying to decide on reconstruction or not. I've already seen the PS and it can be done as a single stage reconstruction. The inplant (saline or silicone) can be added at the time of surgery and the size will be up to him. I'll be smaller cup size, which is fine. But, I'm concerned about more infection, allergic reactions, or rejection, and that the implants will just not feel right. I'm almost 60, overweight, and a worrier! My husband is supportive, but wants me to be satisfied with my decision.
Thanks for all your posts. The info has been very helpful. Any other insights or personal experiences would be appreciated.
-
I just had a mastectomy yesterday. one breast. I'm surprised, I'm feeling some grief and surprise at how my chest looks now. It's puckery, and has an indentation, but I'm sure that it will look better as it heals. I'm not having reconstruction, and I think I'm happy with the decision, but I suppose it's too soon to be sure. Right now, I'm having pain from the intubation in my throat, and acid reflux, which I hardly ever have. Anyhow, I'm really glad this forum is here, and I have a place to share.
Thanks all for being there.
Categories
- All Categories
- 679 Advocacy and Fund-Raising
- 289 Advocacy
- 68 I've Donated to Breastcancer.org in honor of....
- Test
- 322 Walks, Runs and Fundraising Events for Breastcancer.org
- 5.6K Community Connections
- 282 Middle Age 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 53 Australians and New Zealanders Affected by Breast Cancer
- 208 Black Women or Men With Breast Cancer
- 684 Canadians Affected by Breast Cancer
- 1.5K Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
- 455 Caring for Someone with Stage IV or Mets
- 260 High Risk of Recurrence or Second Breast Cancer
- 22 International, Non-English Speakers With Breast Cancer
- 16 Latinas/Hispanics With Breast Cancer
- 189 LGBTQA+ With Breast Cancer
- 152 May Their Memory Live On
- 85 Member Matchup & Virtual Support Meetups
- 375 Members by Location
- 291 Older Than 60 Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 177 Singles With Breast Cancer
- 869 Young With Breast Cancer
- 50.4K Connecting With Others Who Have a Similar Diagnosis
- 204 Breast Cancer with Another Diagnosis or Comorbidity
- 4K DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)
- 79 DCIS plus HER2-positive Microinvasion
- 529 Genetic Testing
- 2.2K HER2+ (Positive) Breast Cancer
- 1.5K IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer)
- 3.4K IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)
- 1.5K ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma)
- 999 Just Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastasis
- 652 LCIS (Lobular Carcinoma In Situ)
- 193 Less Common Types of Breast Cancer
- 252 Male Breast Cancer
- 86 Mixed Type Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned
- 189 Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care
- 488 Second or Third Breast Cancer
- 1.2K Stage I Breast Cancer
- 313 Stage II Breast Cancer
- 3.8K Stage III Breast Cancer
- 2.5K Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
- 13.1K Day-to-Day Matters
- 132 All things COVID-19 or coronavirus
- 87 BCO Free-Cycle: Give or Trade Items Related to Breast Cancer
- 5.9K Clinical Trials, Research News, Podcasts, and Study Results
- 86 Coping with Holidays, Special Days and Anniversaries
- 828 Employment, Insurance, and Other Financial Issues
- 101 Family and Family Planning Matters
- Family Issues for Those Who Have Breast Cancer
- 26 Furry friends
- 1.8K Humor and Games
- 1.6K Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts
- 706 Recipe Swap for Healthy Living
- 704 Recommend Your Resources
- 171 Sex & Relationship Matters
- 9 The Political Corner
- 874 Working on Your Fitness
- 4.5K Moving On & Finding Inspiration After Breast Cancer
- 394 Bonded by Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Life After Breast Cancer
- 806 Prayers and Spiritual Support
- 285 Who or What Inspires You?
- 28.7K Not Diagnosed But Concerned
- 1K Benign Breast Conditions
- 2.3K High Risk for Breast Cancer
- 18K Not Diagnosed But Worried
- 7.4K Waiting for Test Results
- 603 Site News and Announcements
- 560 Comments, Suggestions, Feature Requests
- 39 Mod Announcements, Breastcancer.org News, Blog Entries, Podcasts
- 4 Survey, Interview and Participant Requests: Need your Help!
- 61.9K Tests, Treatments & Side Effects
- 586 Alternative Medicine
- 255 Bone Health and Bone Loss
- 11.4K Breast Reconstruction
- 7.9K Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 2.7K Complementary and Holistic Medicine and Treatment
- 775 Diagnosed and Waiting for Test Results
- 7.8K Hormonal Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 50 Immunotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 7.4K Just Diagnosed
- 1.4K Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy
- 5.2K Lymphedema
- 3.6K Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment
- 591 Pain
- 3.9K Radiation Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 8.4K Surgery - Before, During, and After
- 109 Welcome to Breastcancer.org
- 98 Acknowledging and honoring our Community
- 11 Info & Resources for New Patients & Members From the Team