Chemo starting in December 2010

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  • msjag
    msjag Member Posts: 416
    edited October 2011

    Hello everyone, not sure who is checking in, but I wanted to say hooray to all of us...Dec will be a year since most of us started this chemo journey together, some earlier, some joining in later! I hope everyone is doing well.  I just reached 1 yr...alittle scanxiety hits every once in awhile, MRI end of this month,
    Hope everyone is doing well, anyone still having chemo/other treatment?  

    Happy Fall everyone, and so grateful we were all together for one of the scariest unkown parts of our journey.  Thank you thank you thank you.  October is a tough month, I was Sept29, and then all the Breast cancer awareness began for the month of  Oct, this Oct I feel more empowered, educated, and ready to help others as they helped me. 

    Take care!

  • hopefortomorrow
    hopefortomorrow Member Posts: 193
    edited October 2011

    What a beautiful check in note. :-) It was wonderful to come here and sharre with everyone, It made the journey much easier than it could have been. Having a little heads up from the ones ahead of me was a true blessing.Lately I am hanging around a few of the tamoxifen threads. I am experiencing terrible memory problems, and as of the last few days, terrible leg pain....two days on my feet at work has done me in! I see my onco this coming wednesday (oct 5) My Mammo came out clear a week ago! It was the first time I felt like I could say I am through with this! I was very emotional going into it, but was on cloud nine after I got the results.

    I work womens retail clothing, and our clientele is older... I have received unexpected support and an empowered feeling to reach out to others, to help them.

    I still have moments that I am afraid, thinking cancer my be invading again,,, but it usually passes quickly. Wishing everyone continued good health! God Bless!

  • LisaMomOfFour
    LisaMomOfFour Member Posts: 465
    edited October 2011

    So nice to hear from some of us checking in!  Yes, I too am now close to my one year anniversary.  When I look back on everything I have been through this year.. well it feels good to have it behind me, that's for sure.  And keeping my fingers crossed all the time that it is truly behind me.  

    One of my very dear friends, who has been such a great support for me all through this, said in the most comforating way, when I was describing all of the hideous treatment that lay ahead of me, she said,...."Lisa, it's a minute.....".  I know what she meant back then, it just didn't feel like a minute, but it does now that the active treatment phase is behind me.  

    Now if the crazy crazy dreams I am having on tamoxifen would subside, so I can get a decent night's sleep......    

  • sammolisa
    sammolisa Member Posts: 180
    edited October 2011

    Hey my sweet dear girlfriends!  I love to see you all on here, and miss our daily chats.   California went well.  We are probably going to move there over the next few months.   The flight back was a bit crazy tho.   All in all a fun time!    I finally started back to work 3 days ago after  being gone a year.   I feel for you Hope about the memory problems - mine are terrible.   They used to be alot worse and have gotten a little better but not drastically better.   I can't think of words anymore to say correctly and I can't remember how to spell words I know I knew how to spell before.   Work is being great in getting me back up to speed.   Everything has changed in there since I was there last and I am going back through a few weeks of training first before I get back to the phones and customer support.   I honestly thought I would be feeling worse than I am.   I am exhausted when I get home but the pain is staying at bay for the most part which I thought was going to be my biggest challenge.  I am only back part time - 30 hours - 6 hour days which probably helps.   I am taking Fareston and most of the side effects have subsided.   Though dreams with me too can be challenging.   I punched my husband twice in the middle of the night  because I was fighting someone in my dream.   My poor DH!!!  He has been so wonderful through everything and I go and clock him one in the jaw.    Weight is still staying down - lost like 35 pounds or so all together and seem to be able to eat whatever I want.  Looking forward to moving to California and be a practicing doula.  But for now, the money will be good going back to work for awhile.   

    Love and hugs to all.

    Lisa 

  • hopefortomorrow
    hopefortomorrow Member Posts: 193
    edited October 2011

    I'm wondering if anyone is around... I am having a bad day. I have the weekend off, and after feeling pretty good all week, even working a full time strenuous week- I am freaking out because I am so tired today that I can hardly function. I was really feeling like my old self! So tonight I am freaking out thinking the cancer is returning. I missed my tamoxifen a few days, and restarted, I wonder if this is part of it? I am taking antidepressants, and looking into neurontin for pain- I get cramps in my legs like crazy. I have started faithfully taking omega 3 vitamins, calcium and another that encourages new growth.... Maybe because my husband is out of town I am freaking. But has anyone else gone through this?

  • LisaMomOfFour
    LisaMomOfFour Member Posts: 465
    edited October 2011

    Oh, Hope, I'm sorry you're feeling so badly.  I went to Boston two weeks ago to visit my brother...had a wonderful time, but behaved like I used to, before cancer.... stayed up too late, didn't get a good night's sleep, burned the candle at both ends, and when I came home I was positively so exhausted, every bone in my body ached and ached, I chewed ibuprofen like it was candy (I had three days of business meetings that I needed to attend, so going to bed and resting was not an option, but is really what I should have done).  

    That was two weeks ago, took me awhile to recover completely, but I feel back to normal now.  I guess after all that our bodies have been through, it is going to take some time to get back to normal.   

    You're not alone at all......  hope you get some rest and start feeling better quickly.   

  • hopefortomorrow
    hopefortomorrow Member Posts: 193
    edited October 2011

    Oh Lisa, I am so glad you responded! It's just comforting to hear from someone that has been through this! Tonight things seem to be worrying me more than usual. Some of it was that I was reading cancer information, and I have been worrying about a few missteps I may have made at the start of radiation. Probably nothing to worry about, but I never drew it to my Radiologist's attention that there was concern about clear margins- I assumed that she would know. I talked to the oncologist just last week, and I told her I was having disturbing memory problems, and some balance issues, and I knew all her questions were geared at if she should do a scan- but I had no other problematic symptoms of things. No headaches, nausea, etc. Of course two days later I had a familiar pain under my ribs... not quite gas, not quite heartburn.... I feel like a nut case! LOL

    I talked to my husband tonight too and that helped, as well as your reply! He also pointed out I have been doing alot more and taking on projects and probably need more rest. I will be seeing my breast surgeon in a week, so i can ask her more. It is funny, at the ONC's office the Living well gal told me she was going to MAKE me sign up for some survivor's meetings and a massage or reiki. It is time I think.

  • LisaMomOfFour
    LisaMomOfFour Member Posts: 465
    edited October 2011

    I'm glad you are feeling better.  It's true -- I have a funny pain in one of my ribs, sure that it is mets of course, but then it goes away and its really a twinge, hard to classify it as pain, unless I am overfocused on it.  I think our minds will just always go there for awhile.  My 74 year old aunt, who had BC at 26, was so comforting when she was helping me recover from my BMX.  Said that for years, every time she had an ache or a pain, she was sure that the cancer had come back, but it never did.  Fifty years later you can be pretty sure that you beat it, but you never stop imagining the worst of every ache and pain.....

    I'm starting an "On the Mend" class week after next, in Hinsdale, for cancer survivors.  This class will be entirely breast cancer survivors.  You could probably still join, though I don't think Hinsdale is terribly convenient for you.   

  • msjag
    msjag Member Posts: 416
    edited October 2011

    Hope, thinking of you, and I don't think anyone of us here doesn't feel the way you do.  Going along great than a twinge of a headache....rib pain, cold....its so unbelievable how our minds all think like that...my back was hurting yesterday evening and now again..and you just can't help throwing in some kind of "cancer" explanation, even for a minute...hopefully this will slow down, become less and less....  I agree with Lisa, when we over do it, we feel it, out bodies are still healing.  My rad nurse said...at least a year from the last treatment..whether it be rads, surgery, chemo. Hugs to you.

    Lisa, where abouts in MA is your brother? right in Boston?  I"m about an hour 1/2 from boston.  Going to pick up my kids and granddaughter in three weeks from Logan airport...Can't wait!!!! Glad you had a good trip!

  • DivaJMusic
    DivaJMusic Member Posts: 75
    edited October 2011

    So glad to see posts here! How are your energy levels ladies? Mine are in the toliet! I feel like I've aged from 31-61 in the last year! :-(

  • hopefortomorrow
    hopefortomorrow Member Posts: 193
    edited October 2011

    Hi Diva!

    Well I feel like I have gone from 45 to 80- lol!

    Just this week I have had back pain... at first they thought it was a UTI- but now they are thinking possible kidney stones. My doctor did give me Celebrex and it really has helped with the pain- the back pain is not totally gone, but it has really helped the aching in my legs and feet.

    My energy level is really out of whack, I have some good days and then totally bottom out!

    My hair is so out of control!!!! Thick, coarse curls! I am always having a bad hair day! It is too funny! I am trying to grow it, but it just might not work- it is like one big poof ball.

  • sammolisa
    sammolisa Member Posts: 180
    edited October 2011

    Evening Ladies!  Hugs to all my sisters.  Feeling pretty good today - went with my DH to a recording session and it was great!  Took a nap and ate some dinner and now just chillin.   As for energy levels seems I can have small bursts of energy that I sweat thru lol - then crash.  So, if I stay even keel without alot of bursts of energy my stamina is lasting around 5 or so hours, then I feel like I need a nap.  Specially after I taking my meds.    Hair is a little wavy here and there but for the most part is behaving itself.  I was actually  hoping for some curls!  Didn't get any. lol.  Thinking of keeping it short for now.  It is so much easier to take care of.   3 weeks and counting for our move to CA!

  • sunflower71
    sunflower71 Member Posts: 130
    edited October 2011

    Hello!  I cant believe it has been a year.   I am still in active treatment (2 more herceptins to go) and am counting down the days when I can start to put this behind me.  I also feel like I have aged.  My energy level has gotten better, but I still am surprised on how quickly I tire out.  I also have a lot of pain-either from Herceptin or left over from TC.  Somedays it makes me cry.  Speaking of crying...... I call them Tamoxifen Tears.  They come all the time.  I cry at sappy commercials.  It is ridiculous.

    Just wanted to come by and say hello and thank you to all of you.  I will never forget how scared I was back then.  Having all of you to go thru this with made it easier.  Hugs to all.

  • msjag
    msjag Member Posts: 416
    edited October 2011

    Yeah Sunflower, only two more to go!!!  It has been quite a year for all of us!

    Samm, good luck with the move! 

    My curls are uncontrolable, everyone's hands are always in my head...always had such straight hair!

    Diva, hope you're feeling stronger, I'm doing ok with energy level, actually thinking of joining the gym this week esp since insurane will pay for 4 months of it!

    Be well everyone, Happy Halloween to those who celebrate, 15 inches of snow on Sat in MA...ugh..much toooo early for this!!!

  • DivaJMusic
    DivaJMusic Member Posts: 75
    edited November 2011

    So good to hear from you all. I have big soft curls and people keep their fingers in it all the time!

    Mostly my energy is even unless I have to do something. Then it seems to want to slack off. I sleep ALOT on the weekends though.

  • sammolisa
    sammolisa Member Posts: 180
    edited November 2011

    Hope everyone is well.  Our move is in less than a week!  There are boxes everywhere.  lol.  I don't have any curls  :(    A couple waves if I tease them lol.  Everyone likes my hair short and so I am thinking of keeping it this way.    Feel pretty good for the most part.  Alot more aches and pains than before all this happened.  Ahhh the new normal.  I do sleep alot too I think.  I am generally in bed by 9pm on work nights and on non work nights I am sleeping in and taking naps still.   Hate that about the snow MS!   That sucks - you're right that is way too early to get any snow. Tho I can remember in Michigan as a kid my dad used to pray for snow before November 15th so it would be easier to track the deer, the hunting season.  I think the biggest challenge is the hot flashes now.  Tho I could complain about all the other crap too. lol 

    Enough venting for now,

    Hugs to all, and may all have a wonderfully joyous and blessed Thanksgiving.  :)

    Lisa 

  • sunflower71
    sunflower71 Member Posts: 130
    edited December 2011

    I AM DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Woohoo!!!!!!  

    Hugs to all on our 1 year!

    Hope all of you are doing great.  Smile

  • msjag
    msjag Member Posts: 416
    edited December 2011

    YEAH SUNFLOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YAHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so glad you are done!!!

    Hope everyone is doing well, Samm hope your move went well! ever since the first snow in Oct, its been like spring here in MA!!  My hubby is a hunter also, and he thinks its been to warm, lack of snow...just like I like it!!!

    Take care everyone!! nice to pop in and touch base with you all.  What a year its been!!  Happy Holidays to all that celebrate!  Merry Christmas and a very HAPPY HEALTHY NEW YEAR!!!

  • sammolisa
    sammolisa Member Posts: 180
    edited January 2012

    Cking in with my chemo sisters.   We are finally all moved into our new apartment in Fresno, California.   The move went pretty well.  Feeling okay,  taking one day at a time really.  I get tired still alot. Dealing with SE's from Fareston.   Hope you are all well.   

  • msjag
    msjag Member Posts: 416
    edited January 2012

    Samm....I was wondering how your move went, glad you are settled.  Hope the SE's leave you soon, my rads onc said I would feel fatique on/off for a good year.  Happy New Year!  Just tested neg for brac1 and 2...relieved since I have triple neg.   glad to pass on the info to my kids, not the cancer!!

  • sammolisa
    sammolisa Member Posts: 180
    edited February 2012

    New ckin with my chemo sisters, I got my period back!!!!!!!

  • msjag
    msjag Member Posts: 416
    edited February 2012

    Feb 3rd was a year since last chemo...can you believe it...hope you are all doing well.  Samm, I don't know weather to congratulate you on getting your period or say sorry!!!  Seems like things are moving ahead for everyone.  Hope you are all doing ok

  • hopefortomorrow
    hopefortomorrow Member Posts: 193
    edited February 2012

    I have stayed away for a bit- I was feeling stronger mentally and feeling like I have beat this thing! Everyday gets better, my mental focus is better, and I have more stamina. I do have days that I still totally crash though. My hair is growing out nicely, adding to the new normal.

    I was great until yesterday...until I talked to a lady that has been battling breast cancer. She is a stage three, but had much of the same things we all started out with, and it has come back twice since then.

    So I am here. I am running to all of you, because for the first time in a long time I am feeling scared again. I know it will be ok. The lady I talked to said she WILL be Ok, and I will too. Anyone else have a bit of this? 

     I'm glad that all of you are doing so well. It is nice to read your posts here. Hugs and love to all! Cathy

  • msjag
    msjag Member Posts: 416
    edited February 2012

    HI Hope, you're not alone with those thoughts/fears.  I have soooo many more good days, but then hear of someone who is battlling again, didn't make it, or someone new diagnoses and it does get the mind running.  I agree with the woman you talked too, we will be ok.  Doesn't change the fear every now and then, sometimes more than other times.   So I say let's try to think positive  90 % of the times. I also remember my onc saying, well someone has to fill up the 85-90% of people whose stats fall into the nonreoccurance/"cured" status. I'd be honored to fall into that group with you, and the rest of our friends here!

  • hopefortomorrow
    hopefortomorrow Member Posts: 193
    edited February 2012

    SmileIt's  so nice to see your response here! Today I am feeling happier and less anxious. I resurrected my diagnosis sheet the other night, and some notes my sister took at the first oncologist visit. I was amazed... I didn't even remember half of the stuff written there. In my mind I have been questioning all the pain I have been having, I 've wondered why I haven't had a PET scan ? It seems like so many have? I have also been getting cramps...I am on tamoxifen. My gyne said I should have a vaginal ultrasound done, but I have put it off. (I hadn't been to the gyne in years-so many I am embarrassed to say) I mentioned I have fibroids, etc and she said it might be good just to do it and check things out.

    The good and bad is that there is so much going on around me. My kids have their sports programs(daughter is looking at colleges and hoping for a scholarship), my boss at work is challenging, my Mom is 90 and cantankerous- (my brothers and sisters all have to chip in some money each month for extra care now).  I am really in the school of "Life is good"-I believe that wholeheartedly and it gets me through.

    I love what your Onc said- perfect! What you said is perfect too! I'd be honored too to fall into that group with everyone here!

  • msjag
    msjag Member Posts: 416
    edited March 2012

    Hope, I am thinking of you, hoping things are going well.  Its that time again, to go see all the oncs/BS...getting a MRI...but I willl remind them all that I am part of the group of wonderful people on here who have kicked BS to the curb!!!

    Wishing everyone peace and fun in your lives.  Its been quite a year and 1/2!! its going by quickly!! good news for all!!

  • msjag
    msjag Member Posts: 416
    edited August 2012

    Hope you are all doing well!!!  Take care !!!

  • sunflower71
    sunflower71 Member Posts: 130
    edited November 2012

    Not sure if anyone checks back here, I'm rarely on these days.  Hope you are all doing well!

  • hopefortomorrow
    hopefortomorrow Member Posts: 193
    edited December 2012

    I check in from time to time, because I have referred a two friends to the site. I hope eit has been veryone has a safe and Happy Holiday! Merry Christmas! I can't believe it has been two years!

    Hugs to all, Cathy/Hope

  • msjag
    msjag Member Posts: 416
    edited December 2012

    Hope, I can't believe it either!!  Hope you are doing well too!!  Happy Holidays to you and your family and to all who helped support each other with this thread!!!  

    Take care all!  Happy New Year

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