Please Help Me Sort This Out

Take a long deep breath.  You can do this, you are just having an insane moment.  I have had several of those since my diagnosis. I did not have chemo, but as you will see, there are many, many woman on here who have.  I have read many post of woman stating "chemo is doable". I am sure it is no walk in the park, but you will get through it.  I am so sorry you are going through this horrible experience, but you have come to the right place.  Keep coming back here.  The woman here will help you every step of the way.  I will keep you in my prayers.  Hang in there

Ask if you can have the chemo administered as TAC x 6. I believe it's the same cocktail but is quicker, although the overall dosage each time is probably greater. That is the chemo I had and it was manageable.



You don't have to start treatment on the date the doctor suggested. I believe that studies show you should start within 3 months of surgery, but the sooner you start the sooner you will finish.



You may not feel so now but it is highly likely and I hope that you have many years of good living ahead of you if you do the chemo. There are enormous amounts of information and support on this site to help you through.



I know it's a very difficult decision and one we would all prefer not to have to make. Take your time to think through the pros and cons of chemo and how you could manage through it.

Michelle,

I feel how much you want someone to say "skip the chemo" but I can't do that. There are three factors at work here. A very high Onco score, Grade 3 which is very aggressive, and the BRAC gene. To be honest, the Onco score seems superfluous. Just the grade and genetic mutation indicates chemo, with a shut down of your ovaries.

I was 46 when I started my chemo. Yea, it put my life on hold for some time, but you do get through it. And you do get a life back. But not the same one. But you don't get the same one back without chemo either. This disease is life-altering. And I can only imagine that the fact that you lost your Mom to this very same disease, it is even more emotional.

Since you had a BMX you don't need radiation! [Just trying to slide in some good news.] Obviously, I am not a doctor. Consult yours as much as you need. Talk to a hospital social worker to help you navigate the emotional and financial issues. Gather your support group and ask for help as you need it.

Thousands of women every day get chemo for breast cancer. You can do it too. And the women of this board will help you get through it.

All the best,

*susan* 

{{{{{{Michele}}}}} I think all of us can relate to how you are feeling. I've come to realize as I move through this process from finding the lump, being told I have cancer, surgery/reconstruction, and now chemo, that each blow (step) can be emotionally devastating. I've had plenty of my own freak out moments, and have asked myself the same questions.This panic, pain and fear will ease, take deep breaths if you find yourself hyperventilating (as I did during a particularly bad time)

My best advise, is to feel all of these feelings and let them be released. It can feel overwhelming, I know, but I learned that I did come through it, and you will too. Sore, worn out, and feeling a bit beaten up (emotionally).  Going through this moves to you the next phase of acceptance and understanding of your experience. You will gain strength and resolve to fight this ________ (insert your favorite, nastiest curse word here!) disease.

Starting chemo on the anniversary of your Mother's death could be a wonderful way to pay tribute to her life, by taking the brave step to fight for your own life. It's something she would want you to do, FIGHT! You will find the determination to face this!!! I promise, these awful moments do not last, and you will find the beauty of everyday life come into sharper focus. 

Big hug to you, we are sisters in our struggles!    Lisa