Mind turned to mush after surgery and rads.

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bedo
bedo Member Posts: 1,866
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

I finished 1 /12 weeks ago and started crying at everything.  My office which closed,in July threw out all my license and continuing education credits which I need to get a new job.  The originals.  Our office closed and I ran to the Dr before insurance ran out to see him and +BC.  While I was gone the entire clinic closed.  My desk and everything was thrown out.  Its been 4 months confirmed today. Tears.  Was given a list of 100 dental providers who take Medicaid.  None of them do at least up to #48. I have an abscessed tooth so I'm just taking PCN.So it won't hurt.  More tears.  Computer all messed up with viruses.  More tears. I am still tired and don't feel that my mind is a sharp as it used to be.  I sleep all the time. I also have a chronic liver disease which makes me tired but hopefully won't land me in the hospital anytime soon.  I am considering doing 6 months of a form of really rough meds.to try to cure it.  The last time I lost 30 lbs, white counts and hgb went down to the point where I worked 4 hours a day and felt short of breath with major foggy brain for a year. There are new meds for 6 months but with 1 added to make you more miserable.  I feel like such a wimp being on disability, but don't have the energy to stay awake 10 hours a day, and my doctor feels that my old job (which is gone, Ha Ha) would be too much at this point so he gave me another 2 months of disability I see people on here working through chemo and radiation, but I think I may not be able to. I was recovering from a near fatal Rottweiler attack before this happened, but had recovered from surgery and was over the PTSD. I also had another surgery right after the lumpectomy. I don't want to be whiny girl. but little things still throw me, like applying for a job when the computer is broken and trying to fix it.  So now I'll shut up.  Has anyone else been on temporary disability for this long with such a mild diagnosis?  I am very embarrassed.  Cat brought me dead mouse.  :(

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  • Claire_in_Seattle
    Claire_in_Seattle Member Posts: 4,570
    edited November 2011

    Bedo.....Sometimes life isn't fair.  I can't answer your disability question, but let me help with the rest.

    Your computer is fixable, and shouldn't cost that much to get back in great shape.  Do that.  Make sure you back up any files first.  I use the Easytech people at Staples to get over those hurdles in life.  You will be able to do everything so much better with your computer not giving you grief.

    Then contact whoever gave you your license and where you did your continuing education.  You can't be the first person who ever needed a duplicate.  Again, a pain but something you need copies of.

    But FIRST, get your abscessed tooth fixed.  With an underlying infection, you can't do the other.  You could also put the rest of you health in danger.  You have to get dental problems fixed anyway prior to doing chemo.  You will feel much better when you get the infection behind you.....PROMISE.  Find someone who takes a payment plan or use a dental school if one in your area.

    I think all three of these are do-able. Get them done, then figure out your next steps. You will be much better off once you have your license back (livelihood), your mouth fixed (infection, pain, depression), and your computer up to snuff.

    Hang in there. - Claire

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  • stephanie82510
    stephanie82510 Member Posts: 30
    edited November 2011

    I have had worse things happen to me than a lumpectomy. But it is the first thing to scare me. It has put a question in my mind and tears appear in my eyes for the first time in my life. So Bedo, you are not crazy. It is not just the meds so i would not recommend switching up becasue of this SE. I believe there is something else much closer to PTSD going on in all of us.

    I do concur that a mouth illness is quite severe and to do something about it right away. The other repairs are needed ,but your cash is best spent on your mouth problems. Libraries are very friendly to people trying to get a job. Some even allow printing. Disability is a social security program so maybe call them and anonymously ask questions to see if you can use their facilities to get moving towards a job at the end of your disability.

    Many women did not have a doctor as caring as yours is to endorse disability. They went with nothing! Be blessed by it. In the 20 weeks that were taken from my life for chemo, well, I used vacation or went to work. It was therapeutic to be busy. During radiation - I went to work everyday. I needed to be normal. But man, I was not my chipper self everyday. I went to work bald; I felt supported; I had just the right consulting position to get away with doing less for awhile. Where I work now, next to no one knows I  am cancer survivor.

    But I, like you, want a solution on how to deal with the changed emotions. Hormones, yeah, get some of the blame, but I think I have changed. I have to learn the new me. Who knows, I might be a better me! 

    So, don't just feel like you need to suck it up. But see if you can make a plan to reach out a little at a time. No  employer is allowed to ask you about your health, so spend some time gettin g together the right wardrobe to be a knockout to match your skills! 

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  • Elizabeth1889
    Elizabeth1889 Member Posts: 1,036
    edited November 2011

    bedo, Please stop beating yourself up emotionally.  You have been through many terrible ordeals in a short amount of time.  And please do not think you only had a "mild diagnosis."  Cancer is cancer and any kind, grade, or stage is scary.  Be thankful for the disability time you have and give yourself a break.  Please get your health issues under control.  When you feel better physically, I am guessing the other problems will be less monumental.  You are not a whiner.  You, like the rest of us, are finding our way through a world that is suddenly different from anything we have experienced previously.

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  • Gingerbrew
    Gingerbrew Member Posts: 2,859
    edited November 2011

    Hi, Rad left me very tired for months. Finishing 1 1/2 weeks ago leaves you in the place where they are still working on you and adding to your tiredness.  I hope you feel better soon.

    For a dentist you might ask family members to propose you as a patient to their dentist.  Some dentists will do some probono work rather than accept medicaid.  Another option could be to call your nearest Catholic Charities office and ask for a recommendation.  Your county might also see you because an abcess is considered an emergency.I am an old case manager. :)

    Blessings Ginger

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  • debbie6122
    debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
    edited November 2011

    OHHHHh Bedo- I am so sorry you are having to deal with all this extra crap that you dont need, after already going through so much, the other ladies gave you great advice and I dont have much to add other than send you big warm hugs, IT Will get better!!!

    Hugs,

    Debbie

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