Some days are just hard

You are right, some days are just hard. At times you are taking things hour by hour, on a really bad day 10min at a time....As a mother I feel your pain.  Just keep smiling, take things one at a time and be sure to take care of yourself.  When you are at your best it filters down to everyone. It is so hard though for mothers to say "who will do this if I wasnt here?"  Try not to focus too much on the future that none of us can control. (easier said then done)

d, i know what you mean. sometimes, the anxiety is too much to bear - my mom used to call them the "crazies" (she also had breast cancer). i guess those days, we just plug along, taking it every 5 minutes if we have to.

sometimes, when i'm feeling particularly depressed --which i have this week-- i try to broaden my perspective or worldview. i think on the Sudanese children who die of hunger, the Haitians living in rubble heaps (and the world couldn't care less), etc. I don't mean this as depressing! what i mean is: i try to remember my story is important, but it's one story admist the universe. Not sure if I'm expressing the spirit of it correctly -

(((hugs)))) to you. tomorrow is a new day.

xo

j

I know this is ridiculous, but its been more than 5 years since my LCIS and nothing worse diagnosis. (I do have other medical issues.)  I've seen a therapist twice a week since that time.  (I have several previous trauma issues, probably starting as a young infant. Of course, I don't consciously remember then.)  

I absolutely couldn't stand it when someone would say 'You just got to be positive.'  I knew that they had not experienced what I did, nor did they have my personality.  My therapist hasn't pushed me to be positive (thank goodness).  You have to do things when you are ready to do them.  'Ripeness is all', as the Bard said.  I do think it is helpful to understand how you do things in patterns.

Well, at my last yoga class - I'm a rank beginner -my yoga teacher posed the question, "Are you ready to take responsibility for your own adventure?"  Now, I'm more open to a suggestion like that.  That doesn't commit me to feeling a certain way.  I can say, "Well, I want to feel rotten and feel sorry for myself today."  I thought that was something that I might want to think about.  I can have a pleasant adventure, a horrible adventure, a mixture of all sorts of different things adventure, or even a totally boring adventure.  Somehow, that made me feel better.

I think its good not to do things until you are ready to do them.   Some days are just plain horrid, and I don't want to take responsibility for anything.  That's what I say, and I'm sticking to it!

You're very welcome, Mice.  No one requires 'average, healthy' people to be up and positive all the time; why should people expect people who have additional issues to be up and positive all the time?  Isn't it normal to feel bad when bad things happen?  Best wishes to you.

Every hour is so precious to me right now, it's frustrating to feel continually crappy.  I can't understand where people are coming from some days in my quest to feel normal:

- the second cousin who talks non-stop about her life for over an hour (long distance for me) without once asking me how I'm doing

- the employer who expects me to put in a week of unpaid time doing extra things here and there

 - the cancer buddy who comes running up to tell me about a pal of hers who just died

It would be nice to just fester at home for a while and not have to face anybody!  It's only 8 AM here.  What other foibles will I have to deal with today I wonder?