MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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lwarstler so sorry that this is effecting you kids so much. I think they willl be fine as long as you continue to communicate with them. I have three grown boys and they don't ask alot of questions. My DIL's do and I share with them so I know they go back and talk to my son's. My son's are funny they don't want to talk about my breast, it makes them uncomfortable. My oldest granddaughter is 16 and her other grandmother has cancer and no body tells her anything. When I found out I had cancer I called her and told her and assured her I was going to be OK. She said "Mimi keep calling me cause I want to know and no body ever tells me anything about my other grandma." She said she was old enough to understand and did not want to be kept in the dark. So I have honored her wishes and keep her updated. This disease does effect the entire family. You will find your way with your kids on this just like you have for everything else in their lives. I'll be praying for you
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lsarstler - Your story brought tears to my eyes. I hate this disease - it has a deep impact on all of those in our lives.
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IWARSTLER.. I sent you a pm.
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Oh my goodness Lee Ann!
There's a part of me - and I don't know your kids but I remember my teenage years - that wonders if the reason your son couldn't sleep at 3:30 am was because he was freaked out because he knew your daughter had left the house. The hair cutting may just have been the reason he gave you. Is that a normal, permitted thing? Going for a walk alone in the wee hours of the morning? If that's all it was, there'd be no reason not to just come on in, because obviously everyone else was having trouble sleeping too, right? Not trying to worry you. Just thinking about how sometimes teenagers (and girls into their early 20's) feel like they can't be honest about getting back together with someone after everyone was supportive of their break-up. I had that happen a few times - a friend would find out something about her boyfriend, and then decide to break up with him and tell me all about it. Then, she'd reconsider, but feel kind of stupid because she just told me they were done. So she'd lie about seeing him... I did it myself: my first boyfriend at 15 was a very smart and manipulative guy. My parents said I couldn't see him, and I agreed. And then I still got rides home from school from him, only he'd drop me a few blocks away and I'd wait until the bus got there and THEN walk home. Oh, the brain of a 15 year old.
We never think this through when we're having babies: one day we'll have these teenage people that are pretty much going to be able to do whatever they want to do, and it's going to freak us out.
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Claire.....Huge congratulations to you on your doctor free month! That has to feel great. Tomorrow I go for my consult for my Colonoscopy. Lovely! Do you remember your procedure at all? If not then I'll go!
This burn is about to send me nuts. The pain is pretty bad and the peeling is repetitive. I don't know how many layers of skin I have shed so far. Not bleeding thank goodness, but I do get the oozing. Claire I am using all of the above plus lidocaine. I have some of those wet soak pads left (samples) and will do the washcloth when i run out. Thanks hon!
lwarstler I so feel your pain. I didn't have girls but boys have their own issues too. I so hope everything is okay. I do believe the best thing you can do is keep the lines of communication open always. Your daughter really needs to know she can talk to you about anything. I am sure she already does, but remind her now and then. I am so sorry you are having to deal with so much all at once. This is a tough time for your family. Big healing hugs to all of you.
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Saying a prayer for you Lee Ann...and for your children.
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Janis.. oh so sorry gentle hugs to you.!!!!
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I'm saying a prayer for you Janis. I was so blessed to have gotten through rads with limited burns and I feel so bad for all of you that have had to suffer more.
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Good Luck to all having check ups, follow-ups, and starting treatment this week. Will await all the good news on getting the "all clear" and kay, you've been reading rads tips for the last couple weeks around here so you know what to do. I have also heard that a 10:1 water/vinegar rinse on a washcloth is very soothing.
cmblastic & juliet62, I'm with you. Calendar free from B/C docs this month, which IS a great way to celebrate Pinktober. We all know how the breast centers get real heavy on the pinkness this time of year.
Not counting the corporate money-making aspect of Pinktober, I think a lot of the "awareness backlash" is pretty normal from women who have or have had B/C. Like how much more aware can WE get? Check that off our lists, move on to prevention and cure. Still, before I had B/C, I did not mind the awareness angle and I'm still o.k. with it, but now we know that is only the tip of the B/C iceberg.
lwarstler, It's not always easy to fathom the mind of a teen. They might not want to talk about your B/C since that only makes it more real, but keep them in the loop with short summaries of what is going on with you. (I tell mine when I go for a mammo. They always ask how it went. If I say "all clear" then they can tune out for another 6 mos.) With your girl, just keep your parental antennas out. She's innocent until proven guilty of still seeing the older guy. If she was out to meet him, it's going to happen again. Stay watchful.
prayrv, Big winner of Mystery Pic! Have one ready for us next Sat.
p.s. janis & rads ladies: about one in three women will have more than just a slight skin reaction to their treatment. You can do all the right things with the lotions, etc., and still be the one in three. As nasty as it gets, it will heal up so you will not be able to tell. I know it is painful to sleep on, so the suggestion to sleep in a recliner, if you can, was a good one.
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First , thank you to everyone for their support. I have been a crying mess this morning, completely wracked with guilt about a disease I couldn't do anything about anyway. I also do now know that she was definitely not with the older boyfriend as his mother just called and he was in the hospital recovering from a surgery where his father punched him in the face and broke a vessel in his cheek. He has been unconscious and has no phone, so my daughter doesn't know. His mother didn't know he didn't tell us his real age and found out after this argument with the dad that started over the breakup between the boy and my daughter. It doesn't mean she wasn't meeting up with any other umpteen kids in the neighborhood but she does do strange things when she gets really anxious.
I took her to the doctor this am and she gave her something to help with her anxiety. She gave her a lecture about safety but also talked to her about all the pressure between the break up, AP classes and my cancer. My DD seemed to almost sigh with relief at someone talking about how hard it all is for her. I think maybe she needs more people to give her permission to struggle with all this. I still think all this stinks and that kids shouldn't have to deal with this, but at least now I think I might know how to help them a little. Instead of trying to pretend everything is fine, I am going to try to open up opportunities for them to talk about how unfair or stressful this is.
She also gave me a good lecture about not carrying guilt, but I think that is going to be hard. I just feel like I am supposed to be the one they can count on and now they can't cause I'm the one causing the problem. I know the cancer is the cause but I still just feel so terrible. I may give her the info for this site and let her get on the caregiver threads....I'll have to think about it though because there is info that could scare her if she starts poking around too much.
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Lee Ann glad you took her to the doctor and the doctor talked to her. Sometimes they just need permission to feel and if they cry and get angry thats OK because at least it is not bottled up inside.
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hugs leeann and family, will be with you janis for your appointment,, ps slept through my colonoscospy and egd
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(((((((((Lee Ann))))))))) My son had taken it harder then my daughter, but he has gotten way better. Its something that comes with time. Just as I have had to come to terms will all of this they had to as well. I went from being the mover and shacker to the blob on the couch. They were having a time with it and I had to take a step back and see that this was as much a part of them as it was a part of me. Even though I am the one going thru it physicaly they still see what it done to me. Thanks for your post because I have to remember that sometimes as well. Its good to see that you took her in to see the doc. Sometimes as moms it looks like we dont know anything and someone else can say the very same thing and they are listening to their every word. I pray that your family will continue to talk to one another in these coming months.
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Coleen, My son is with Wakeland HS and we got 1st in AA Class and best general dynamics or what ever they call it. Were are so proud of them, they were the ones that changed into gold uniforms. There were so many, what was your program? I am sure saw it there were so many awsome band out there, some I did not understand at all. My DS is a euphonum player, they call the marching horn a bartoine. I just see it as a trumpet on steroids. Since they did not make the top ten they got to give an ancore presintation at the end of finals as the judges tallied up the scores. Each of the band members got a metal, we got 13th overall out of the 32 bands. Last year we were at 21. The year before (2009) they were in the top 10 so gota take the good with the bad.
We need to meet up some time. I'll pm you.
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Good news! I'm good for another 6 months!! Bloodwork normal & exam good.
A little less stress for now, waiting on mamm appt date. Then here it comes again....
((( Lee Ann ))) (((Janis)))
My BEST to everyone. To those beginning Rads or other tx, hang in there, you'll make it. Remember to come here for a hug, we're with you all the way.
Packing to leave Wed for a few days in northern MI to play with my Grandchildren & enjoy the fall colors. Supposed to be sunny & in the 70's, perfect weather. I so need this break...
Back tonight & maybe tomorrow.
Hugs!
♥
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valjean so glad you got a good report. Have fun with the grandkids
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Yay valjean! I hope you have a great time with the grandkids!!
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Elimar-once again I love your topper photo! You speak to me, girl!!
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Thanks, Eph!
valjean, Great to get that anxiety out of the way so you can really enjoy the visit.
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Congratulations Valjean!
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valjean, have a wonderful and beautiful trip! with your good news, i know it will be fabulous. congrats!
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Started rads today. Other than them being 25 minutes behind schedule at 8:30AM and having to do arm contortions due to the weird angle they had to get the machine set at (my lump was at 2:00 so that has something to do with this, I guess) all went well. I am NOT complaining as I saw two women who were obviously very, very ill so I am counting my blessings and going with the flow. Only 33 more to go! Thanks to all for the advice and encouragement and congratulations valjean!
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Congrats Valjean! As Elimar said, it is wonderful that you can go visit your grandchildren with that off your mind.
Janis, I am so sorry you're having such issues from radiation. I hope you start healing soon. I had reconstruction 6 and a half weeks ago, and really hoping I don't have too many issues from the rads. It could ruin the reconstruction. I am very fair skinned, but the RO tells me that doesn't mean you will have more burning from rads. I sure hope not.
nancygvtt, I go to my first rad tomorrow. Had the simulation today. They worked so hard to get me in the exact spot I was in when they tattooed me. My arms are above my head and I was like that for about 45 minutes. They had to do the whole thing twice because the first time, I was a little bit too low on the table. I am sure that was not good for my lymphedema. Hopefully radiation will be much quicker. Have you checked out the October 2011 rads thread? There are several women on it who are all starting rads this month. We can all go thru it together.
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Valjean - Congrats on the good report - you can breath easy for the next several months. Go and enjoy yourself.
Janis - I can't say I know your pain - I did not have too many issues with rads but I do know it is a difficult time for you and the end is in sight. Next step will be to get the skin healed and on to other things.
nancygv - What a bummer you were delayed in getting started. It will probably happen more than once - I made sure I had a book with me everyday just in case.
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nancygv55 & kay1963, The simulation is usually much longer than the treatment. If you only get rads from a couple angles, it's about 15-20 for the whole appt. (I took a shortcut by not getting into a gown, just kind of wrapped a towel around my front while walking over to the table.) Kay, fair skin doesn't automatically mean burn, there's a chance for you too. I think having chemo might be a greater factor, because that harshness already had it's way with your tissues. A big factor is overall health, so keep the good nutrition coming and drink lots of water too.
janis, Not to scare Kay, but did you do chemo first? Sorry, can't remember.
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valjean - woo hoo congrats.
Janis - ask for the silver sulfadiazine cream, my RO perscribed it for me when I turned purple. I was pink in a couple of weeks, almost normal in four.
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mjmiller.....I am allergic to sulpher. LOL...not an option for me unfortunately! I appreciate the suggestion though.
valjean, congratulations on a great doctor visit and test results. Enjoy the visit with your family It sounds like a much needed getaway.
Nancy and kay...good luck with rads, hoping it is smooth sailing for you both. I had no fatigue with it. I did burn, but not everybody does. Someone else in the rads thread was very worried about burning as she is very fair skinned. She has been done for a bit and never did burn. I think there is no way to predict. Just moisturize and follow the suggestions of your RO and techs.
My PCP called this afternoon with my thyroid biopsy results. I was asleep when he called and foggy, I took no notes. He said that it summarized three possible things it could be. Of course I don't remember the first two, but the third is cancer. He is referring me to a thyroid specialist. Not sure when I go, he said they will schedule it and let me know sometime this week. I was hoping for a clear report just so I didn't have to go to any more doctors! No such luck, so will do the follow up. So nothing definitive, and I am not worried at all. Just weary of all these appointments.
Last boost is Wednesday so at least that will be done and the burns will really be able to heal. Yes!
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janis, I agree "suck luck". Congrats on getting almost done with rads--ring the bell on Wednesday-means your cooked thru & thru!
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Oh Janis- I'm sorry - you've been through enough already. You wrote "suck luck" instead of "such luck" and that seems to be just what you're having - the suckiest luck. Why don't you call your PCP back and ask him/her to go over the results with you again. I didn't realize you were still having boosts - no wonder why you're still peeling. 2 more and you're done. Hang in there.
Kay - good luck - my surgery sister - with your first rad treatment tomorrow. I was very fortunate with my rads - minimal burning..
I'm exhausted. This has been my longest day out and about since my PMX 6 weeks ago. I left the house at 7:15 this morning and got home about 45 minutes ago. I probably should have skipped my usual Monday night girl's night at a friend's house, but I missed it last week. Time for bed. Good night all.
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LOL on my typo! I did mean "no such luck" but it actually seems funnier the way I originally typed it. I fixed it, but think it sums up how I feel. Too funny you ladies caught it.
Hauntie.....you must be exhausted! I hope you are able to get some quality rest! You know, I really don't mind going to this new specialist. My hair has been falling out for months. I did not have chemo. Last time my blood was drawn, my doctor had my thyroid checked as part of the routine blood panel. It was normal. I understand more complex blood tests may be required rto pinpoint the problem. My mom had her thyroid removed when I was a kid. She is gone now so I can't ask her. So there is some mystery thyroid abnormality in my family.
Eph, you are of course invited to my celebration party Wednesday. I am almost done!
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