Received DCIS Diagnosis - IT JUST GOT WORSE - Comments Invited

Blair, I wasn't trying to send you away.  It looks like you've done a great job doing the groundwork/research for your wife.  

But I hope you will take care of yourself too, so thought you might find sharing with other spouses/family members useful (don't I remember a post of yours where you noted that you seemed to be the only man on the bulletin boards--that you didn't see other husbands posting?)...so I directed you to the board where you're most likely to find them.  I didn't mean that you can't continue posting here.  Lee Ann has some great suggestions.

Hope your wife's next biopsy is negative so that this latest will have been just a "bump-in-the-(not-so-pleasant) road."

LisaAlissa 

Blair...you are doing exactly what any good husband would be doing.  You are not going anger any of the doctors, in fact, they welcome your concern and the more engaged a patient is in treatment, the better the results can be.  Educate yourselves as much as possible - it will take fear away and give you both solid footing of what is happening.  Things are done in stages so take in the current item and then move to the next - don't overwhelm yourselves by trying to absorb it all at once - you will go nuts! 

Try to relax and take the one step at a time - relief will come and then on to the next.  Many hugs to the both of you!

LowRider

Hi BlairK - I overestimated the recovery period/difficulty of everything. The biopsy was just like a cut. Even the lumpectomy was not as bad as I was prepared for. A good supportive bra to prevent bouncing is the key to lumpectomy comfort. Even after the unilateral mastectomy, I was working on my laptop in bed at home 6 hours after waking up in the recovery room. Mastectomy was actually better than lumpectomy as there was nothing left to bounce. Going over bumps in the car was still not habit-foming, and the pillow under the shoulder belt is good advice. The hardest recovery of mastectomy was the drain, which in my case took 15 days to remove. If I had not been overdoing the housework, it would have come out sooner. My only infection was dirty-nurse related not surgery related. Wouldn't have happened if she used proper technique in the home care visit. I had some of the wound open a bit after some staples were removed, but I went to the Emerg and they re-closed with steristrips. No biggie. I walked in one-hour bouts on the treadmill at the gym by 4-5 weeks after the mastectomy, and that dramatically reduced my aches and pains and I stopped painkillers completely at that point. I completed a half marathon after 10 weeks and actually ran a good portion of it despite quite limited training. Doctors here will write absence notes for 6-8 weeks from work but counting working in bed (writing and answering emails etc.) I never worked less than 35 hours a week through the whole deal, including the Xmas holidays when I'm not even REQUIRED to work, not that I got any respect at work for that. I wasn't THERE doing the visible things. That gave me quite a lot of stress from the neck up, and I needed Rx for valium but it's been very helpful. I expect the reconstruction (in December 2011) will be more physically tough as it will involve the abdominal incision, but maybe I will be pleasantly surprosed with that too.

A few comments on recovery time; the type of surgery you have plays a huge part in how quickly you recover as does your own body and it's reactions to surgery. Reconstruction with implants prolongs recovery as does bmx vs. Umx. I imagine flap surgeries take longer. I think recovery is about finding a balance between healing rest and restorative activity. I had both of my drains out by day 10 but did not even try to drive until day 14. Even now, about 3 weeks out, I still feel a bit sore when turning the wheel to back out or park, especially on the side that had the node biopsy. Every one needs to be attuned to their own body's needs and reactions. The urge to regain normalcy is strong but there is nothing to be gained by pushing too hard. Cancer is teaching me to put myself first. BTW, today and tomorrow will be the first days since my surgery when no one will be over to help me around the house. Younger daughter and fiancé are taking a short holiday and older daughter and SIL won't be here until Saturday. So far,so good! Caryn

Driving within a week of surgery is fine, so long as you go forward.  It's backing up that's a problem.  

The most important thing to remember after the surgery is that you are not supposed to strain the incision for 6 weeks.  I read somewhere that it takes 6 weeks for cut skin and muscle to regain approx. 90% of it's original strength. That's why anyone who has surgery with a major incision is given the 6 week rule for no lifting, stretching, carrying, etc..  It's simply because you are not supposed to stress the incision - the last thing that you want is to cause a tear, and particularly, an internal tear (there will be lots of internal stitches as well as the visible scar).  

I was in hospital one night for my mastectomy surgery with expander placement.  The next morning I went home and I made dinner that night and was out taking walks by the following day. I had virtually no pain and had much better arm movement than I expected.  But I was careful to limit my upper body movements so that I wouldn't strain the incision.  Since the incision is in the chest area, my PS told me to not do anything that affected the chest/pec muscle.  No stretching. No heavy lifting.  No reaching or pulling - I was given strict instructions by my PS to not vacuum for 6 weeks.  No picking up things that are heavy or carrying things that are heavy.  When it comes to driving, it's no problem to sit straight and look forward - I could easily have done that after just a few days.  But turning my head to back up was one of the more painful things I did - that puts a lot of stress across the chest, and on the incision.  So while I drove after about 10 days, I made sure that I didn't park in any spot where I had to back up.  Even after week 3 I could still feel the strain when I turned my heading while driving so I was very careful in how I moved.  

My PS told me to always remember the 6 week rule - especially when you are feeling good.  If you're feeling fine after surgery - as I was - it's tempting to try to do all the normal things.  But you can get yourself into trouble if you do.   

BlairK,

you might want to post your questions also in the forum, "Surgery, Before, During and After".  More people may see it and offer some suggestions there too.  There is also a forum, "Breast Reconstruction" that I have been reading about. 

My surgery is scheduled for October 13th.  

I should say, despite my physical recovery, my body could drive sooner than my brain could. Man I could NOT concentrate, and we live downtown in a big city. I had to drive my daughter to and from swim practices on nights my husband had a class and I would constantly have to concsciously pull back into conscious attention. I did not voluntarily want to drive for a couple of months almost entirely for attentional reasons.  

BlairK - I'm sorry they found cancer in your wife's other breast, but glad they found it when they did.  I think it will be better to have one surgery rather than two.  

For the drains, I just used big safety pins and pinned them to the surgical bra they put on me.  When I showered, we attached them to a belt so that I didn't have to hang on to them.  I was very lucky and my husband took care of the drains for me.  I had four after BMX and I would lose them one at a time for about two weeks.  

I also bought sleepwear and clothes that buttoned up the front.  My problem was that my skin felt so sensitive that I didn't like the feel (weight) of the buttons resting on my chest.  I was more comfortable in my husband's oversized t-shirts.  They were big enough that I could put both arms in and then pull it up over my head.  

I had my surgery July 14 and I had just started driving again about two weeks ago.  I was like someone else that posted about their concentration.  I had a hard time concentrating while I was driving more than the act of driving itself.  I had surgery again Monday (to replace a leaky tissue expander) and it will probably be another week or so before I try to drive again.  This surgery was not as hard on me as the first.  

I wish your wife well with her surgery.  She should not rush herself into anything.  Someone told me before my surgery that "you only have one chance to heal well." I hope for successful and uncomplicated surgery for your wife (and you!).   

Sorry to hear about the "healthy" breast.

I second the stool softener idea, and while I did not have a mastectomy, my procedure was similar enough that I needed to get a post mastectomy top to wear, w/ pockets for the drains, etc.  This will probably be covered by insurance, so ask your Dr for a prescription.  Many breast center/hospitals have shops on the premises, makes things easier.  If that's not available to you, we can give you info for online stores.

I went for men's flannel button-down sleepwear, roomy & soft.

Button down is key, it's hard to raise your arms.

Best wishes.