OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid

Options
1…123124126128129…422

Comments

  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited September 2011
    Angel-------I thought I was Sas-sa -FrasCry
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • dutchgirl6
    dutchgirl6 Member Posts: 673
    edited September 2011
    That would be great, angel.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • jazz3000
    jazz3000 Member Posts: 188
    edited September 2011

    Does this cure come in a pill form or is it an injectable you take yearly like a flu shot. I've heard there was a pandemic of this partiuclar diease but have never found a forum that actually had the cure. I was under the impression Congress was working on a Bill that would actually make "Stupid", illegal in America.  What a great Bill. There are however, concerns about just who is going to pay for all the Stupid Jails and more especially the Stupid Patrol needed to control this problem. I think we all agree we all pay enough in Stupid Taxes now.  And then what about the Support Groups needed to support and help cure the illness, and what about the Public Education necessary on how not to contaminate others with this diease?

    I had a friend recently tell me Lemon and Asparagus are not the answer. If I throw all the toxins including those chemicals the Doctors recommended out, and purchase these non toxic items she just luckily sales on a special auto ship deal,  I too could and would be free of Breast Cancer. Unlike just plain Lemon and Asparagus, I would also be the happy reciepient of cleaning products I can use throughout my home, (Once my breasts heal of course.)  It's good for killing Ants and Pests too. ( When I asked if it killed other living things why it wouldn't kill me?, she just said I was being Stupid, and of course not.)

    What a deal! My prob? I was apparently infected with the Stupid illness and listened to my Doctor and went ahead with the Mastechnomy before she showed up. It's always been my luck. 

    Does anyone know the name of a Doctor that can prescribe the medication for the cure?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • dutchgirl6
    dutchgirl6 Member Posts: 673
    edited September 2011

    Doctor Bombay (from Bewitched).

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • msjag
    msjag Member Posts: 416
    edited September 2011

    Too Funny!!

    Angel, that is awesome that your story will be told, my daughter is 29, and I want her to have a mammo now, and her docs in CA and insurance aren't willing YET...hopefully she will get one by the end of this year now that more info on TN is starting to make oncs think we shoud be genetic tested if we get TN before 60, not 40.   I hope we all get to see you, thanks for your voice for the young women, enjoy your pink celebration!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2011
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2011

     

    Elephants should be the only thing that is pink.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2011
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 2,630
    edited September 2011

    A Basement???  Wow...did some remodeling while I was gone!  Did we lose Dog the Bounty Hunter?  Maybe him and Meece could get together and rough up them monsters?  Any pics of the monsters?  If any of them resemble my ex-husband, I have a special request :)

    We have the cure so you can just tell all the stupid people -  it's under control.  I'll see if I can find one of them and post it again.  It's a gooooood read!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 2,630
    edited September 2011

    Emily, this one's for you!

    As requested here is the Updated Cure based on recent findings by our team of experts. Note : if you are just tuning in this will make absolutely NO sense if you haven't read the whole thread.*L*

    Cure for Cancer ( New and Improved)

    Have on hand:

    73 rolls of Bounty ( cheaper brands will do in a pinch)

    2 joints of "medicinal" marijuana ( may be substituted by 2 asparagus spears. Note: Dip spears in kerosene or they won't stay lit)

    1 enema bag ( pink, if you can find one)

    1 handful dried sage

    1 crockpot

    1 CB radio antenna

    1 roll duct tape

    1 pair rubber boots

    1 roll tin foil

    Snacks: ( aka Cleanse Diet) breadless sandwiches, doritos, brownies, pepsi, alcohol

    Note: A recent Scientific Study (see page 6) had warned that consumption of bread causes choking in newborns and brings out latent criminal tendencies.

    RECIPE

    3 cups diced asparagus ( handpicked by Tibetan Monks preferable)

    1 cup juice of  organic alkaline lemons

    63 cloves of garlic

    1 cup distilled water

    Bones of REALLY old chicken

    1 spritz of fungacide

    1 road apple ( seasonal variations acceptable)

    Eye of Newt

    Pinch of sea salt

    Simmer the above for 9 days until consistency of slime.

    Set aside:

    1 cup of concoction for enema

    2 cups for topical application

    1 cup for oral administration

    1 cup for remaining body orifices ( to cover all the bases)

    Remember to let cool first.

    Instructions:

    Consume "cleansng" snacks ad lib. Stuff fruit of your choice in bra . Fashion tin foil hat. Don rubber boots and duct tape CB antenna to your forehead. Administer enema while standing on left foot. Then apply topical mixture while pointing north by northwest. Prepare the oral portion and drink from an old chipped cup previously used by a Scientologist.Light sage and insert remaining mixture into all other body orifices using a trowel. After 4 day, expel enema and shower ( with Cure Guy if possible). Towel off with Bounty and insert 2 rolls in your pants. Smoke joints or asparagus.

    Congratulations, you are now cured.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sagina
    sagina Member Posts: 1,219
    edited September 2011

    Lurking and laughing, thank you for keeping me rollin'!!!!!!!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited September 2011

    Cluck a duck---- That was a good one Fuzzy. Totally, cure , way out. The end must be the best . Let you know in 5 days. One day to collect everything, oops nine days to simmer, 4 days to do what it does in the orifices. That's 14 days. Let's define where we empty the orifices , I'd prefer it wouldn't be in the hen house. Actually, how about pretty far from the Hen house, but we need security, If we are going that far from the Hen House. Veggy did find that there was a fox in with the Hens. Looked mean, and the Hens look agitated. Security, Meece is somewhere else .

    Yes we must do something about the monsters in the basement. Sign we need a sign. So, no one goes in the basement. Too dark. Monsters. Lock, we need a lock. Who will be keeper of the lock, to the basement. Hmmm Should we think of a use for the monsters. Only thing that comes to mind, that they be useful for us against the revunewers. Otherwise they are awful creatures Veggy saw them. Said they were monsters.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • mostlymom
    mostlymom Member Posts: 466
    edited September 2011

    ah - thanks - i needed that fix....

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 626
    edited September 2011

    I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccccccckkkk....*cluck*
     
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2011
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2011

    After falling down the stairs

    and being in the basement with the monsters

    I am trying to climb up the stairs

    To be with you!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited September 2011

    EmilyhellosohappytoseeyouIambesidemyselfthefeathersareflyingbeaksareclacking

    squwackingeverywhereFuzzywrotearecipesoundsverygoodsimmersfo14daysVeggy

    foundabasementfullofmonstersandistyringtogetoutbutkeepsfallingbackdownthestairs

    Wehavetohelpherb/ctheyarebadmonstersandsomearedepressionmonstersWEhave

    tokeepthemloockedupbutdon'thaveakeyyetandVeggyistheonlyonewhoknowswhere

    thedooristhisiswrittenincodesothedepressionmonsterscan'tknowwhatwearetalking

    aboutbrwagkkkkseeyouinthefrontbackforawelcomehomepuffpuffandsomeasparagus

    :)))))

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sam52
    sam52 Member Posts: 950
    edited September 2011

    Far out, cluckers.............

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2011

    Aliens & Monsters? Someone, PLEASE,

    help me out of the basement! Quick!!!!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2011
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited September 2011

    Veggy Veggy where's the door??????????????/

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited September 2011

    Veggy give us a signal -----------we will come a cluckin

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2011

    I feel like I am in one of the Twightlight Zone episodes...Little Girl Lost Its the episode where the parents (Robert Sampson, Sarah Marshall) hear their daughter crying in her bedroom but cannot see her. They find her in a parallel universe.

    My story...

    Little Chicken Lost. A chicken gets pulled into a parallel chicken coop or perhaps the basement. She is surrounded by monsters and aliens. Her friends can hear her calling but cannot find her. Where is the door? Is there a door? What is on the other side of the door? Will they be brave enough to help her? Are they strong enough? Will the monsters escape when the door opens?  Why can't they find her? Does anyone have a key? Will it fit? Its dark and lonely in here. I can hear you all running around looking for me. Why can't you find me?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited September 2011

    Veggy follow the cluck ---cluck cluck cluck come to the cluck . ignore the monsters. be quiet. Come to the door crawl on the stairs so you don't fall back.  Tap on the door lightly , we are listening.  when you get there we will be waiting with stun guns for the monsters if they follow you and a barricade.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited September 2011

    Please someone has to watch for Veggy I have to check out for the night I think and hope(insomnia). If you hear her tapping find the door and be prepared to shoot the monsters with stun guns. I'll leave the computer on in case sleep doesn't work and come back and check Veggy (((H)))))))

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • SandyAust
    SandyAust Member Posts: 393
    edited September 2011

    Hi Fuzzy welcome back!!!!

     Were you here for the penguin???  Well you forgot the penguin repelling protocol on the cure list...'Just smile and wave ladies....just smile and wave.'

    Laughing

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited September 2011

    Veggy are you getting up the stairs. I don't hear any tapping. Anyone in the Hen house keep clucking softly so Veggy can hear us. Need to get her away from those monsters and lock that door. And put a sign up that no ones allow in the basement . Maybe we can put a hose in somehow and drown those suckers.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • chabba
    chabba Member Posts: 5,065
    edited September 2011

    If we were to eat all that asparagus we've been smoking we could just all stand in the doorway facing front and gas the monsters!!!!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited September 2011

    chabba good idea -------should we where gas masks. There have been news reports of people gasing them selves to death. We'll pass them out just in case

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • juliet62
    juliet62 Member Posts: 3,412
    edited September 2011

    don't forget the foil hats just in case

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories