April 2011 chemo

sarah sweety mine is doing the same thing! it is thinner on top and kinda looks like grey carpet very thin carpet!!you sound very positive since your surgery! good to to hear!! warrior on....

Oh Sarah, this is my biggest pet peeve of late.  I HATE that we continue to search for answers in our own behavior for this epidemic.  We blame the things we ate (when if that's true, then let's blame the FDA and the food industries for feeding us poisons), we blame stress (as if we cause our own stress!), we blame our family histories (as if there's anythign we could have done about that.)  Let's just try to accept the fact that this just happens to people...one in eight women...there's NOTHING WE DID!  I am blameless in my cancer, and I don't care how many devil dogs I ate.  

Love and light back to all of you totally innocent women (well, in regard to this anyway..lol).  

 Heading down for my first AC treatment this morning!  Ack!!! 

YAY Profbee my ephiphay has only just happened hence why I mentioned it, I could not of put it better myself when you say how you hate that we blame ourselves, well so do I and no more will I be asking those questions. I think it only a normal response to the dx to question yourself, but I am now 7 months down the line with chemo and surgery behind me and looking forward, the healing process can now really happen with a clear conscience focusing on the future.

Feeling a lot better today, even went out picking wild damsons to make damson gin.

Love to all

Sarah Sweety xxxx 

Okay - life is fluid, right?  Get out your magic 8 ball!
Just got home from appt with the medical oncologist.  She had the results from the PET scan I had last week.  The scan appears to show (read that they are guessing) that there are "treated bone mets".  In other words, last spring when I had the original tests and bone biopsy the bone mets did not show up and now the chemo has resolved them.  So, they are now saying that I am stage IV rather than stage IIIc.
Med onc admits confusion.  She will consult with the surgeon and the radiation oncologist and they will decide what to do next.  She is suggesting that they not do surgery and probably not chemo, but most likely radiation.  The immediate treatment (which really is chemo) is that I will have to go in once a month from now on (apparently forever!) and have two injections. 
So I am on hold for a while.  I am grateful for all of your support. 

I totally agree that it's normal to question WHY, but it seems to often we land back at ourselves for the answer.  I hope we can all be better to ourselves as we move on, but yes...I agree that it seems to be kind of a stage you almost have to go through.  

 Artie, here I am full-glass reading this--so does that mean that the mets are no longer there b/c they are "treated mets" and chemo resolved them or does that mean that they're hanging in there despite treatment?  Lots of love to you!  You've been doing so well.  You got this.

Merilee--that SUCKS!  JUST what you need!  ugh.  I'm so sorry.   

My first AC today went well.  I just took 2 Ativan to go to sleep so hopefully I won't have to deal with any nausea until tomorrow!    They sent me home with 3 different pills and a shot to give myself..fun.  Fingers crossed that I'm one of the lucky ones!  

Oh gosh...and how could I forget?!  First fill today.  I'm going to have an awesome rack!    Smiling like crazy. I told the doc that I wanted them bigger than before and he said, "Oh, they  will be bigger than before."     My son even noticed and asked if he could snuggle up on them.  I let him lay his head on my breast gently.  Then the little curious bugger pulled down my tank top really fast for a look.  ugh.  I grabbed where the scars were and told him that's not nice and my boobs are private, but he must have gotten a good quick peek because he said, "Mommy, you don't have those pacifier things."  Nipples!  LOL!!!

Love to all!  g'nite. 

So, yay!  Resolved!  That's wonderful!!!  I mean, the shots sound cruddy just because it's a continuing protocol, but you can do that--once a month.  Ha!  Lots of love, C

Wow, it's been a madhouse on here while I've been gone!

Artie - how scary to learn that you had mets, but it's also amazingly good news that you zapped 'em. I know the key with mets is getting them to respond, and yours sound like they ran screaming and shriveled right up.

What does it mean now that you are not going to have further surgery? I know they said they didn't get clean margins - do they no longer worry about that? I'm glad for your sake the surgery is behind you and you can focus on healing the whole system now. We will support you every step of the way.

Sarah Sweety: I am glad your surgery was such a success. It's amazing how scary it seems to get your (excuse me) BREASTS CUT OFF!!#@$!!! but then when you actually get the surgery, it's a relief how easy it actually turns out to be. Thank God for modern medicine. Can you imagine doing these surgeries in the 1800s???? (They actually did mastectomies back then, too. *Shudder*) We are in such good hands with our capable surgeons and sterile facilities, and drains, and other modern advances.

Merilee: I think having your HOUSE BROKEN INTO!#$@$#%!!! and then your COMPUTER GONE THROUGH!!!! is right up there as a massive violation with having cancer invade your body. What jerks would do such a thing? The one consolation is those guys generally wipe the hard drive, which is different than if say, your catty sister in law got ahold of it and read all your files. Do you need funds to get a new computer? If so, we can all pitch in and get a fund for you.

Profbee: If you're like the rest of us, you'll be down for the count today after getting your first AC yesterday. I hope they gave you lots of anti-nausea meds and you are resting peacefully. If I can give you some advice (Pawprint girl, too) look into taking Hawthorn and CoQ10 to protect your heart from long term AC damage. My heart function actually IMPROVED through this whole process (my ejection fraction went from 50 to 60) and I owe it to these two supplements.

Sarah246: It sounds like you and I are in the leaking misery boat together this week. My brain has been fried, and it sounds like lots of you is fried, too. The gums bleeding may be low platelets, which I also have had a bad case of. Try eating sesame, it is supposed to really help. You can eat tahini, halvah (yummy sesame candy, if you can find it), or just munch on a few tablespoons of sesame seeds whenever you think of it.

Sorry if I missed anybody. I'll be back with an update on my own recent disasters when I get a second wind.

Hugs all around!

Hi to all, as per usual trying to keep up with how you are all doing.

Sarah246 i had nose bleeds, the nurses said it can be a sign of getting run down, low wbc.  Up the red meat and veg.

Profbee, keep on top of the AC, I ate, drank and slept when my body told me to. Emend for the nausea.   

Hey, friends!  I'm popping on for an important question.  So, my first AC was Wednesday.  I've been taking all the meds religiously.  I'm tired, but no nausea at ALL.  Does that mean I'm good or is it coming?  I heard something about Saturday maybe not feeling well, but damned if I can remember with all the stuff I was writing down, etc.  Thoughts?  

 Thanks friends!! 

Hi profbee.  After 1,2&3.  No nausea no stomach problems but taste changes, had chemo day and the next day off work.  Fuzzy head right from the start, didn't last long.  No4 totally different.  Lots of mania and upset stomachs - severe chemo head, toe nails fell to bits - isn't even supposed to happen with AC.  No 5 the same.  No 6 floored me and made me very emotional, just getting over it now.  BUT it's totally different for everyone, doesn't matter who you talk to, never two the same.  

I think it was you who told me about the epsom salts, working a treat. 

Keep smiling, sweetheart.  Thinking of you 

Yay Profbee. Great to hear no nausea. On my 1st AC I was nauseous right from the first night and it lasted until day 5. On the next 3 no nausea as we changed/upped my nausea meds. I was very tired and out of sorts. I also got headaches from days 4-6



I have a Taxol question. I've completed #11/12 - last one is Tuesday! This last few days I've started getting quite large red lumps on one side of my face that I thought were pimples. Today they now look like blisters and are quite painful. Has anyone else had this? Did they go away?



I'm also very tired and over it. I can't believe chemo is done in four days time. My rad onc called yesterday and I am booked in to start rads 3 weeks after chemo ends. Week 1 - I have a 2 hour appt for rads staging. Week 2 - I am having my port out under a local anesthetic. Week 3 rads. Gosh I thought I was going to get a break but seems not.

Thanks all---so far, still so good on the nausea.  Woo hoo!  

Kiwi--I had awful zits when I was on Taxol and Lapatinib.  I never know which drug causes which SE.  They called it an "acne rash" and my mom said, "Oh my God, you look like you have chicken pox!"  They gave me oral antibiotics and a topical thing too--it helped.  I thought it was the WORST of the SEs.  Bald with horrible zits.  Great.  They said sun makes it worse too--so stay out of the sun!  I know just what you mean about being busy.  I thought the month after the surgery and before AC was going to be all social and fun--not so much.  It went so fast!  And I guess I underestimated recovery.  This damn cancer stuff just fills the time!  But I'm so happy for you that you're moving forward and ending chemo!!! 

Oh, and thanks everyone for the AC advice.  I'm so glad that I'm not feeling nauseated.  I was dreading that but trying to remind myself that at every turn each challenge has been easier than I expected it would..not easy, but easIER!  LOL.  

Bernie--yes, glad the epsom salt is helping the nails! 

Hi all!

Artiecat: It must be a pain. Hang in there. Sending healing lights.

Merilee: Sorry about your computer being stolen.

geocachelin: Thanks. I plan to check out that movie.

Windlass: Yup, we're in the same misery boat together. Misery loves company. I went for blood tests because I thought my platelets were low. But the blood test came good. And thanks, I will try to find Sesame and some yummy candy.

Bernieellen: Thanks. I've been feeling run down. Maybe that's why the nose bleeds.

Tssheps: Sorry about the nausea. I'm trying to start a walking program on my treadmill.

Profbee: Glad to hear there's no nausea so far. My problem right now is my left breast is still swollen? It's much bigger than the right breast and my left arm is numb and painful. The other thing is that I saw on the TV that radiation on the left side breast can have an affect on the heart for ten to twenty years after getting it. Plus I had heart attacks before and wonder if I should get the radiation. I'm going to be talking to my doctor about it, but would like to know what you guys think.

Well wishes to all. Hope everyone is having a great saturday!