My "friends" think I should get over it. I am so angry, hurt!

I have to say I got so angry reading your post! You're the only one of them dealing with cancer.  How in the world can they tell you to move on or get over it when they have no idea what you're dealing with ?.  Of course you are going to have anxiety - you have cancer and that is a cause for worry. I do not think that your friends reactions are normal - to me they seem selfish, uncaring and cruel.  I just   noticed you posted a couple of weeks ago, I hope that things have gotten better.  We definitely understand the worry and fear you are facing.      

Laura,  Certainly there is a saying regarding feelings:  Feelings aren't right and feelings aren't wrong... they just are!  Having said that, I am so fortunate that I have an oncologist group who does use the "cure" word and they say I am cured.  I will accept that.  I also have a dear long time friend who is now about 14 years cancer free.  I think I would call that cured!

There is a wonderful uplifting book. (a true story) called Through Rose Colored Glasses by Donna Deegan who is probably mid 40's by now.  She is a news anchor in Jacksonville, FL and is a 3 or 4 time breast cancer survivor w/ mets.  I think you would really find it interesting and uplifting.  Please give it a try and you can also Google her and read about the wonderful things she does to help others with breast cancer.

I have a saying,  "I never get sick, I just got cancer!"    I do feel normal.  Perfectly normal!  I even felt normal when I was diagnosed w/ bc!  So, I just get on with my life and do those things which I enjoy!  You may find some peace in yoga and/or Reiki.

Laura,

Your feelings are normal.  We've all been through this journey....some longer than others.  Folks who have never heard those words can not even begin to understand the fear and anxiety that stays with us for ever.  Life is never the same.  Two years into this journey is still too recent but one day you will find yourself not thinking about cancer.  Although, the fear and axiety never leaves you it does subside. It's been over 5 years for me and every time I hear of someone else being diagnosed, with a recurrence, or losses her battle - all the fears and anxiety come back again.  Life is never the same so we just keep on fighting and living.  That is all we can do!   

I saw this and had to state -- I am a 1 year survivor and a co-worker (who is an attorney / I am a secretary) is too.  She told me you call it a "new kind of normal."  I think losing a friend to breast cancer would heighten any fears/concerns anyone would have!  I do pretty good until I read or hear about a person dying from breast cancer and then it digs at me again!  Like everyone is saying -- it is normal to have your feelings.  Family and friends do move on because life can't stay focused on "stressful moments" or the "fear of death" and being there for a person because too many people have too much on their plates a lot of times.  It might not be as serious as bc but whatever their pains are that day -- it is serious to them.  So I try hard to not lend a conversation to what is "my stuff" anymore other than to share with other bc sisters.  I know they understand as I understand others who haven't had bc "don't get it."  Doing activities that show you are LIVING is the important thing because bc does give us a different perspective.  There is a lady on my chemo board that passed away from Stage IV bc just a little over a month ago -- it was so upsetting to many of us.  I did up a gift / money order to her husband and 3 year old son and prayed to let it go.  Reaching out to give others HOPE is how we manage to keep HOPE alive in our own inner selves!  Hugs to you for sharing this and knowing that WE here do GET IT!  Much love!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxIt70j_SPk

I think two years is not really all that long....I'm almost that far out and have my good days and bad days....

If you think a support group or therapy or a book will help you, why not do it. But do it for yourself not because someone else's timeline says so.

Just a thought...since your friend passed maybe it's a bit of survivor's guilt? 

For all those newly diagnosed, this journey has taught me many lessons and the most painful one is that of who will actually be there in time of great need.  People will surprise you.  Just the other day I got a call from an old close friend, she wanted to apologize for not being there for me through it all.  She said she often thought about me but didn't want to call in fear she would be disturbing me.  Huh?  I thought she was a good friend but she vanished the minute I told her about my diagnosis.  And, she is a nurse...go figure.  Than there is the stranger, or someone you least expect, who really comes through for you and helps you during those dark days.  For me it was my neighbor and her teenage kids.  I didn't really know them that well but they would check in on me (us) and would run errands for me and some days would just come by and sit out on the porch to talk.  They really touched my heart and helped me out in more ways than they ever planned.   

Hauntie...woohoo for 17+ years! As a relative newbie to the bc world, people like you are my inspiration! Thanks for posting.