April 2011 chemo

Oh gosh...I totally her you all about people comparing troubles.  If I said the things I think sometimes I'd have no friends at all.  I mean really, this week on Big Brother was HELL?  REally?!  Come ON!  You're upset and crying that you've been torn apart from your fiance?!  He left a day ago and he's just on the other side of that wall.  No patience for the petty lately.

had my ct scan today, and now sport 5 "cute" tattoos dots. I envisioned a huge machine, but it was about size and shape of an 18wheeler tire - just shiny white and worth lots more money and loaded with laser. So silly when there's a ct scanner in my town, but the only radiologist in the area works thru a center 100 miles away, so had to go there for mapping and simulation. I won't start rads tho until 6september to give the month after chemo.

Windlass -- I, too, had several sessions with a lymphedema therapist after my surgery, even thought I didn't have LE -- it was kind of a preventative thing.  I think I started about 3-4 weeks after the surgery and went about twice a week for 3 weeks.  She was really helpful and gave me lots of self-help tips and exercises to do on my own.  I've also called her with a question since then -- I started swimming laps in the pool occasionally, and I wanted to know if I had to wear my compression sleeve while swimming (swimming was on the list of beneficial exercises for LE).  She didn't know the answer right away, but she found out and called me back -- the answer was that I didn't have to wear it while swimming.

RangerMom -- You might ask your surgeon to recommend a good LE therapist for after you recover from your surgery, especially if they end up taking a lot of lymph nodes (as was my case).  She can be a wealth of information.

Geocache -- Sorry you had to cancel your trip to Atlantic City, but I hope you have a wonderful and relaxing birthday celebration.  I, too, had to cancel my boat trip with my husband because I just never know if the incapacitating abdominal pain is going to hit again.  I had also planned to take a trip to Maine to see my parents and my sister -- during chemo (I would do one session up there) -- but came to my senses and decided it was crazy (all the airports and airplanes with germ-infested people).  Like you, I just try to fit one-day or partial-day adventures into things now.  Need something to look forward to, yet afraid to stray too far from home.  Anyway, enjoy your birthday!

Profbee- I know, seriously with that Rachel on Big Brother.  Funny thing for me is that when I am on the steroids she really irritates the crap out of me!  I think I take it out on her because I get so nasty during that time LOL....

Seeay- Thanks for the insight on the hair, good to know...  and on your breakdown, I'm not to that point yet, but soon so I don't know how I will feel then or react.  I am sure you needed to get it all out and good for you!

I know this may sound dumb, but what exactly is lymphedema? and what happens when you have it? does it only happen to those that have had mx?

Hugs

I got bummer news today that the spot that showed in my r lung on the PET scan back in April is showing now in the chest x-ray they did for presurgery. The BS said she will be doing follow up in 3 mos. Its probably nothing but with cancer in your history, its got to always be a nagging whisper in the back of your mind. I'm going to think positive that its just some scarring from past pneumonia or something I had. 

Ginger_mea -- In a nutshell, lymphedema is fluid retention and swelling caused by a compromised lymphatic system, which is what happens with lymph node removal.  The more lymph nodes removed, the more compromised the lymphatic system -- the lymph nodes aren't there to allow for proper drainage.  Some people might never get lymphedema (I HOPE I am one of them), whereas others will, and I guess it can be quite uncomfortable and even debilitating. 

RangerMom -- So sorry.  Thinking positive thoughts with you......

Carla -- Happy early birthday, and how nice of them to honor you like that!!

Artiecat -- Glad you have a Sx date.....moving forward......

I don't want to remember any of it. I keep waiting to wake up and find it has all been a nightmare. I don't know about the rest of you but I am not the same person I was a few months ago. Just so beat down my this shit, the worrying, the fatigue, the lack of feminine appearance. It really gets to me some nights and makes me cry for long spells.

I am sure my poor son thinks I am a nut case.

I finished my Chemo two weeks ago and still have Taxol related pain in my feet. I sure hope this goes away! I found out yesterday because I did not have a masectomy I will be having 33 RADs. I had my port removed yesterday YAYHOOOO! Today I go in for RAD simulation.

Axtella: I had a mastectomy and I am still getting rads. We'll all support each other through it.

I've been feeling weird lately, like this is all going to end and we'll get our hair and our energy back, and then WHAT? It's like no honor will have been paid to this year (for me, two years). It will just fade away and be gone, like going to college or being pregnant, or anything else that we did and then moved on. People are going to look at us and say "get over it already, you're done!" And we will look and feel done.  I know that should be making me leap for joy, but it's leaving me  discouraged today. I'm feeling like cancer came in and messed up my life, and then just dumps me by the side of the road - "have a nice day."

Windlass - P E R F E C T !!! and I could cry reading that. 

I can't remember who's got this in her signature, but I thank her, as I think it often - it's exactly how this experience has made me feel - the one about cancer is like crossing the mafia and getting away with it, you get to live, but have to look over your shoulder for the rest of your life.

i have had one of those weeks....hopefully this weekend will get better for us.i just feel helpless all of a sudden.might have something to do with the jello arms and legs i still seem to have! just want my life back and now that chemo is over for me i guess i expected to feel better already!!!but i guess that was wishful thinking. atleast food taste great!!!

Geo - I can't wait to get my port out either.  I want it done right away when I finish chemo in 7 weeks. 

I'm also having rads (after chemo and surgery). I start 2 weeks after finishing chemo (mid October I think). We are the same stage. I think its because of the number of positive nodes.

Geo and Kiwi- sounds like we are ont he same path.  I, too, have had chenmo, now surgery, then rads. 

Pawprint - I am jealous tht food tastes good!  Cant wait for that moment!

Sounds like many of us are having a bit of an emotional dip - but weshall go forth!!!!!  Stronger than ever!!  Onward, Warrior women!!!