No reconstruction- Happy w/your decision?

Hi kmpod,

Glad to hear you're on the other side of surgery and doing well. The drains I had post-mastectomy were Jackson-Pratt drains, also known as bulb drains -- I think that's typically what's used. They had little measuring lines right on each bulb and were easy to deal with myself, once someone showed me how. Hopefully, a visiting nurse will show up and show you what you need to know. You shouldn't have to be worrying about this right now!

I agree with Barbe. Don't be alarmed if your skin becomes very sensitive. That happens to many (if not most) of us and usually means that nerves are regenerating. In my case, it lasted about three weeks and then I felt fine. If that does happen, silk or satin against your skin (it glides rather than clings) might be most comfortable.

Barbara 

I have the round accordian too. I found a small fanny pack that holds it and the coiled up tubing just perfectly. I'll just have find some cover for it when I leave the house.

Ah, the nurse just came and went (125ml drainage). She was impressed by the surgeon's handiwork - and veteran nurses are hard to impress.

It does seem odd to look down and see my belly. I guess I should do something about reducing that. 

AHA!!! The toddler belly. I forgot about that one...sigh. You seem to have the belly first posture of a toddler. Don't worry, without the weight of your breasts on your chest, you'll start to stand differently and posture will take care of some of that load.

I just use a regular bathing suit with the foam lining/cups cuts out. A tankini lies nice and flat against my chest.

Lilylady, I have a very low tolerance for pain because I have Fibromyalgia which actually DOUBLES and TRIPLES the pain I do feel. So I was expecting to be in AGONY!!!!! I even asked if I would have a morphine pump. They thought I was nuts! What normally hurts in surgery is organ removel (none here), muscle cuts (non here - no recon), bone setting (none here!). So it truly is just a deep tissue wound!! I was stunned and so proud of myself!!! You, too will be amazed!

kmpod-- I use the Senekot-S faithfully and I agree--it really helps!  I know what you mean about the reconstruction talk on other threads.  It's hard to identify with the stress of that process when I don't have to face it myself.  (It makes me glad I don't have the extra stress of recon!)

I have my new Land's End tankini top.  I've tried it on and it seems like it should work out nicely!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY sweetie!!! What a great day for you!!! Celebrate the strength you are building and glorify in the agility you are working on. It will be like you are a new swimmer all over again. Don't over work the swimming or you could hurt the healing process. Listen to your body.

Maybe today should just be a lazy, hazy crazy day of summer! Much love,

I'm very happy without those extra pieces of equipment ............no reconstruction for me!!.  Just bought all kinds of colored,floral padded bras until I am properfly fitted with my prosthesis (plural)!!!!!  I kind of like this clean, flat  look.......................when I hug my hubby, he has more tissue than I do.  He is wonderful about my decision!  I hope anyone who is sharing this experience, finds it as easy to adapt to!

Hi i was wondering if this has happened to any of you. I went to the grocery store today (6 weeks since deconstruction btw) and the clerk called me sir. Admittedly i was wearing a blue t shirt but it shocked me. I guess i need to be more careful about how i dress and put on earrings etc. I was feeling great about being flat until today. Then i came home and cried.

Aw, Shippy, here's a big hug for you. I don't think I'd like hearing that either. People are half paying attention any more. I'm sure you don't look like a man. I have had guys look at my flat chest if I'm wearing a tee to a baseball game or other times when I'm dressed down. It's not the same as being called sir, but I know they know I don't have any breasts and it sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable. I remind myself that people generally don't mean to be rude and stare. However, I think it's the same thing that you and Lilylady have pointed out about how much effort you want to put into how you look at times. When I wear more feminine tops that distract from my flatness, I rarely get the stare. I just know that when I wear certain tops, I have to be prepared for some extended looks. I really am okay with my flat chest, especially since it was such a hard road to get here. I think it's when something like that catches me off guard, it can cause a mix of emotions. It's been easier as time passes though. When I head out into the world with my flat chest shirt, I often give myself a little "I am woman, hear me roar" pep talk. Here's something kind of funny. I have a man's tee I bought for myself right before my deconstruction surgery to help me feel positive. The design on the front of it: a large Superman emblem. :-)

About 3 months after my bilat a little 3 year old relative of a relative was on her grandmother's shoulder looking back toward where I was sitting and my grandson's girlfriend.  She said, "I think that's a boy."  I thought she meant the girlfriend, so I said, "No, she's a girl!"  And she said, "No, I mean you!"  I was struck.  I tried to assure her I was a "girl", but she didn't believe me.  It was the first time I thought seriously about wearing foobs, but instead I quit wearing that top, and tried to dress more "femininely".  Since I still remember it 5 years later, I guess I'm still a little sensitive.  I always wondered if anyone else was thinking that!  But foobs or not, I try to stand up straight and look happy to be me.  A big smile takes the attention off the chest!  I hope this won't be a lasting problem for you.  Most people really aren't paying attention.

I think I've said this in another thread, but after about a year of going flat, I finally went to be fitted for the prosthesis. We tried all sizes, but they all felt too big, so they finally special ordered the smallest size. Before, my breasts were small/medium with the exeption of when I was nursing (huge).

But when the foobs arrived and I went to try them, even they looked wrong, too large, after a year of being flat. I have some "cutlets" but I don't think they look right either and I never wear them.

I can't say that I like being flat. But, and I think Barb from breastfree has said the same, I also don't trust any PS to give me breasts, either implants, flaps, or fat grafting (which I have recently been researching) I'd rather have what I have now than risk something I might like even less.

What I might try someday is Macrolane (legal in Europe, but not here yet). I like that it is not permanent (lasts a year or so). I think it can only increase the size about a cup size, which sounds perfect to me. I would like just enough to pass as just being naturally small breasted.

I saw numerous PS back in my decision making days and it was almost impossible to make any of them understand this. 

So am I happy with my decision? It's complicated. I wish there were more and better options. I think it is particularly hard for women who prefer to be small, because I have seen some pretty amazing implants, but they seem to work best in larger sizes.

I too had bilateral mastectomies (one prophylactic) six years ago and did not do reconstruction until last week.  If you aren't sure you want to do it, then don't.  You can always change your mind, like I did.  I had no problem with having no breasts--it wasn't a body image thing with me.  And my husband was fine with it, too.  I just got to the point where I got so tired of trying to find clothes that I could wear without people being able to see all the way to my waist when I bent over.  I have to say that the surgery (TE both sides, plus lat flap on radiated side) was not fun but was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.  And I really never thought I would actually do it.  But I am glad I did.  You just have to do what is best for you.

Aerial - re a swimming prosthesis. There's a prosthesis called Sea Shore that is a slightly weighted foam one made for swimming. It costs about $40-$45. OR you can take the really cheap way out and use a net bath scrubby. I found this idea on a site a few years ago. It works remarkably well. You just have to find the right size, but at $1 a piece at the $ store, you can afford to experiment. I've had real success with either.

Re dog ears - Just saw my BS and she said the solution is lyposuction.

I had MX 17+ years ago. IImmediate recon with TE, then saline  implant that didn't work out. I'm getting ready to have a PMX on the other breast. I'm tired of being lopsided. My BS wanted me to see a PS before my surgery. Recon has improved a lot since my MX. I was pleasantly surprised. Not sure it's in my future. I'll have to see what being flat chested is like first. But, I'm not saying never.

Hey everyone...I've not been around for a wee bit, but wanted to keep everyone encouraged - just as you are - with our choice to not reconstruct.  I'm almost19 months out now from my BMX, and have only worn my forms one time since November. I look continually for cute "flat" tops....inexpensive ones ....things with ruffles, or something to draw the eye away.  For swimming, I haven't bought a MX suit, but have been able to wear tankini bottoms from my regular suits and have gotten exercise/yoga tops made from swimsuit fabric to coordinate.  I'll get them in horizontal stripes or patterns to distract the eye.  So far, no one has noticed, or at least I've never caught anyone staring.     I totally dislike wearing normal, regular t-shirts because they accentuate my flatness.  High necks are bad for that, too - for me, anyway.    

 I'm like some of the rest of you.  I just couldn't justify all the extra surgeries, the additional risks, etc just to get bumps to make other people feel more comfortable or to fill out my clothes.  My husband is totally fine with me the way I am, and most of the time I actually forget about it (unless I'm feeling tight). 

Like Barbe, I walk tall and proud....   and so should all of you!!!

blessings...robin

agada, many, many women have 'de-constructed' due to pain issues. It can be done.

msphil, congrats on 17 years!!! I do think that if I had only one breast removed I'd have tried for recon of some sort. You tried, it wasn't to be. Congrats on your timeline!!!

I LOVE the new 'lingerie' sexy look that some of the tops are coming out in this year!! I can feel sexy without cleavage! Strangely enough though, I do have a kind of cleavage because he didn't cut right through, but stopped just short of centre on each side so I have little beginnings of bumps that could be construed as cleavage...ehhehehe