No reconstruction- Happy w/your decision?

Anonymous

Glad you're feeling better, Nancy. Dressing room mirrors and lighting are harsh. It takes a good state of mind to shop. New bras will definitely help. I have gained a couple of pounds myself and feel so out of shape. I just started working out again last week after not doing much for over two years. I keep telling myself I have to start somewhere and trying to cut myself some slack. Good luck to you with your weight watchers program!

Anonymous

Hi, Paula. I'm sorry you have to go through the BC process again and mastectomy. Lousy, stupid disease. Whatever you decide, the ladies on these forums will support you.

barbe1958

Paula, I'm 53 and find that my breasts haven't been necessary for the last 3 years, so I have NO intention, still, of getting recon. I find my professional dressing is so much classier without my shelf of boobs I used to have. Clothes lie cleaner and I can layer to trick the eye. I don't notice other women's breasts, so I don't expect them to notice mine. Don't know if I've mentioned this recently, but where I am now, I worked there 6 months before casually mentioning something to a woman I saw all day long. Her jaw literally hit her desk. She hadn't noticed!!!! I was so pleased. She was so embarrassed! I set her straight, telling her it was such a compliment! Another receptionist said 'but you want around so confidently'..... she, too, was surprised. So, a lot of it is how you feel later. Yep, I don't have breasts. Nope, I don't care!

dmorgan2

Paula,

I sent you a private message.

Anonymous

Barbe, you are so right about clothes lying cleaner. I am small and my implants always looked wrong on me. They made dressing more difficult even though they were supposedly the same size as my natural breasts. With my implants out, I feel like I have my original body back. My husband says I look more like myself deconstructed than with implants. Other friends have remarked that I look younger. Clothing falls on me more naturally again, and I actually feel confident and stand up straighter. It really is a state of mind, as I don't think others notice my missing breasts/implants so much as they now see someone who is comfortable in their own skin.

barbe1958

Woo hoo Tina!!!!

shippy41

hi all, it is now 3 weeks since deconstruction. last week my poor hubby had prostate surgery so we are quite a pair. We stayed with my wonderful in laws and they took super care of us. i am really adjusting well to flat and kinda like it. i am having a little bit of swelling still under the scar so it kinda looks like little breasts. did anyone have that. is it normal ? when will the swelling go away. i am slowly increasing activity ( esp in taking care of hubby) but scared to do too much. any suggestions? thanks!!!!!

barbe1958

Shippy, remember gentle to firm massage! It helps with circulation. I did get a seroma built up on my cancer side and then later LE, so you really want to stay on top of that. You're doing great!

shippy41

what type or massage do you recommend, my ps never said anything about that. i tend to rub a bit up and down near the scar when lying in bed and it actually feels good. thanks!!!!

Erica3681

shippy,

If you've had your drains removed, it's normal to get a small accumulation of fluid under the surgery site. If it's painless and not too big, it's not considered a problem. It should reabsorb before too long.

I had small accumulations on both sides after drains were removed. One side reabsorbed after about a month (from one day to the next it was suddenly gone). However, on the other side, where I'd had previous radiation, it took six months for the fluid to reabsorb (and a tiny, really tiny, little pocket of fluid actually remained for about three years). It was never painful and my breast surgeon said it's better to leave it alone and not aspirate, as this causes a risk of infection.

If you go for a follow-up appointment, this is something you might ask your surgeon about.

Barbara

p.s. My PT says massage should be very gentle, really just light fingers on skin.

Anonymous

My surgeon told me to not manipulate the breast area for at least eight weeks. The manual lymphatic drainage exercises I do are very light and gentle. I had steristrips over my incisions, and they were stuck on there for over six weeks. I would trim the edges when they came loose. I wouldn't go to town on the incision area for at least six to eight weeks. Even though everything may appear like it's healed on the outside, you are still healing internally. I had general swelling that resolved after six weeks. Three months out, things are still changing. I suggest giving your body a chance to take care of itself. And I always ask my own surgeon what she/he recommends and follow those instructions. If you have questions and won't see your PS for a while, I would not hesitate to call their office. They know what is best for you.

barbe1958

I found this weird this 3-legged massage thingy at a Walmart pharmacy that ran on a battery. All it did was sit there and kind of vibrate and hum. Felt wonderful!!!!! Broke the spasm of itching once the nerves started to regenerate.

You won't want to massage until your steri strips are off, but gentle flowing 'swipes' will not hurt anything. Of course, you can always wait for your doc to tell you but they might assume you already know. My doc didn't tell me anything! Even about the 'spider walking' up the wall exercise that everyone but me seemed to have gotten. Have you got that one shippy?

shippy41

hi i do have the drains out ( about a week ago) and asked him about the wall exercise, he didnt want me to do that. He said that i will regain motion once i restart swimming ( probably not for another month). He said I can lift my arms until i feel a tug. I have been slowly increasing activity i.e did a laundry and went food shopping today for first time!; but thought that i might be doing too much since the swelling isnt going down. it isnt painful and looks like i am a size a cup- if only that would last! when i push on it i can see the fluid move and wonder where will it go??? i am glad to know that it shouldnt be all gone by now. Thanks

Merilee

Flat is were it is at...no regrets here

barbe1958

shippy, laundry and groceries are probably the two worst things besides vacuuming you could do!! The weight to lift a basket or bag is over 5 pounds.......!!!!

shippy41

not to worry, i didnt lift the basket ( threw clothes down steps) and packed bags really light at store. how long after your surgery did you shop? laundry? wear sports bra???

barbe1958

I don't do laundry as with my FM I have trouble navigating the stairs AND carrying a basket. I also NEVER wore a bra once I got my breasts off. Why are you going to wear one? You did good on how you balanced your chores, just be careful about holding bags too long in the arm you had any node work done in. You don't want to risk LE. I am still very concious about that and will be until the day I die! I have mild truncal LE and do NOT want it to get worse! LE can develop as long as 20 years out.

Breast cancer - the gift that keeps on giving....sigh.

shippy41

hi i am wearing a sports bra because my ps said to wear it for 3 weeks for 23 hours/day. does anyone know any specific massage or use of heat/cold to reduce the swelling. i think i went overboard yesterrday and folded 3 weeks worth of clean clothes!!!thanks for the reminder about arm with nodes removed. i am usually very careful with it but with both arms being out of commission i am at a loss as to how to do many chores. i still keep my arms close to my body to prevent using pectoral muscles per my ps. anyone else told to do that since deconstruction? thanks !

barbe1958

Shippy, you didn't get recon...right? I can't see the logic of a sports bra! That must really irriate your scar line. You're not supposed to do laundry!!!! That's the whole point. This is the time to call in people to help you. I was just in a mall this morning and noticed that I still take care not to carry too much on my node side. I'm glad to see it's a habit now.

Lena

Gotta admit I didn't really "choose" no recon as much as the cancer chose for me, BUT at least there's ONE good thing about it:

NO FRICKIN BRAS EVER AGAIN!!! I was told to wear a sports bra by a nurse in the surgery department and I did go so far as to buy one just prior to my BMX, but when I tried to put it on maybe 3-4 weeks postop/done with most of the chest pain, thanks to my stroke I didn't have the motor coordination to hook it (yes it was a front closure BTW) and as soon as I got major pissed off and burst into tears and a curse myself out fest about not being able to hook it closed or figure out a workaround to do it despite my left hand paralysis, I also suddenly thought: "I don't even HAVE breasts anymore -- so what the f*** do I need a BRA for?!"

I don't!! And I've been totally fine without one. The Chest continues to heal up, and I finished PT so I got back the range of motion I lost from the surgery. I'm not up to carrying heavy loads (or even just big and bulky) but I couldn't do that before the surgery either; between my bad back and the stroke it's been decades since I could do that kind of thing anyway. Which means, and I'm coming up on 8 weeks postop: I'm "back to normal" -- at least as far as surgical recovery and ability to do things I had been doing prior to the operation goes. LOL

So the sports bra ended up with all my other bras from when I had breasts: in the pile of stuff to be given to the thrift shop, when I finally get around to doing THAT. 

 

ETA: Shippy -- I was able to do laundry 3 weeks postop using the "lower" dryers in the laundromat (couldn't raise my arms enough to use the upper ones which I like better until maybe 5-6 weeks postop). I think it was also 5-6 weeks postop or thereabouts when I was able to clear the kitchen table of all the "supplies" which normally live in cabinets and just get things in and out of cabinets, as well as resume using the "high" dryers. I haven't yet done a MAJOR grocery shopping trip since surgery (which was on 5/20/11) but that's mostly because I haven't HAD to. I normally keep REALLY stocked up so I only need to pick up some milk, eggs, fresh fruit and salad stuff about every week and a half --SERIOUS grocery shopping is usually about every two months. I've had no problems with these little pickups, not other than my own laziness at least: when I get off my butt and go, I don't have any problems. However, seeing how rads are coming up I'd like to do a bigger run, particularly since it times well with the fact that I also have to get the fresh fruits and veggies. But, it's my own laziness/fatigue slowing me down now (my GI tract attacked me 4th of July weekend so I've been really ill), not fearing a lack of ability to do it once I get off my lazy butt.

Diagnosis: 2/9/2009, IBC, 6cm+, Stage IV, Grade 3, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2+

Anonymous

Barbe, Shippy just had her implants removed - her reconstruction was deconstructed.

Shippy, my PS did muscle repair during my deconstruction, and I was told no lifting over 5 lbs for six weeks. Your surgery was only four weeks ago. PS's do things differently, so it's hard for me to give advice because I worry I will give you the wrong info. Please ask your PS or his nurse. Don't be afraid to call his office - I'm sure he wants you to have the best outcome and will welcome any questions. As far as the swelling, I would avoid using extremes of temperatures. I hope this is just post-surgical swelling, but if it persists or you are concerned, check out the lymphedema forum. Those chicks know their stuff. I have lymphedema in my trunk, actually the side of my chest below my armpit. I had it before I had my implants removed, and the surgery did cause it to flare. I am still working on getting it to go down. Sometimes bra bands (even sports bras) can restrict lymphatic flow down the chest/trunk, and a compression tank or tee can be helpful. Many bra companies make shapewear garments that work very well. Maidenform makes a Control-It tank, and also a line called Flexees. I wore these after my mastectomy before I had any fills, and it felt good to have something on my chest. Now I have to wear a compression tank to keep the swelling down. Oh, and a good thing about these shapewear garments is that you can step into them vs putting on over your head.

dmorgan2

Does anyone know what happened to Paula? She said her surgery was scheduled for mid-July?????

anneflorida

I had one mastectomy and was never interested in reconstruction and have not regreted it all.  I am a large breasted woman and to have had reconstruction, it would have required a reduction on my remaining breast.  My oncologist had me visit a plastic surgeon to hear the options but even knowing it was a possibility did not change my mind.  I have to use a prothesis to look balanced but it is like wearing a bra to me- I forget that it is there and it all feels comfortable.  Just my opinion and experience.

Rebas2

I love your attitude :-)  Your post made me chuckle.  We are proud to be here!!

Rebas2

Barbe1958, I like your sense of humor too.  I am reading all the posts on the reconstruction because I think I am reassuring myself with what I think to be my final decision.  I believe to be 95% sure that I will stick with the "flat look."  When I first had both removed I felt not only cold (amazing how I never knew how much extra insulation I carried around!) but almost unprotected.  I felt like there was literally no extra cushion protecting me from harm if I was to get bumped or have something thrown my way (not trying to be funny here, just have kids that don't realize how off their aim can be).  Now I am more comfortable without my fake boobies -- I call them "oobs" because they are not real boobs to me.  ;-)  I am not good at layering my clothes to look right and def. could use fashion advice because the bras are not comfortable to me.  I have talked to some women who have had reconstruction and they are happy with the surgery but wish they wouldn't have had it because their size has changed after some years and they feel their boobs don't fit them well.  That too makes me want to think twice before going under the knife again.  Two things that I slightly struggle with are my seatbelt not staying comfortable w/o wearing my oobs, and swimming -- I don't want to wear my only set and risk wrecking them (don't have the right suit to accomodate them yet either).  Thanks for listening and keep up the humor :-) 

barbe1958

Aha! Bathing suits. Buy the one that fits you best and cut out the foam inner lining! Ta Da!! I was at a 5-star resort down south 6 months after my masts and walked around as if I had the best pair out there! A swim top stays nice and tight to the body too, so it works great. I had a tankini style top from Walmart!

I had trouble with the seat belt at first too, I forgot about that. I even mentioned it to the surgeon but he said there's a lot of guys my size out there who have to deal with it. I got used to it without really realizing when. Some belts can be dropped down on the bar where it attaches to the car. See if you can do that on yours. I found my sliding bar about 3 months ago!

firebird

Also make sure to get a seatbelt pad. There are tons of them out there, of various materials and padding thicknesses; or if you're handy with a sewing machine you can custom-make your own! They're really simple because they use velcro.



The trick with the seatbelt pad is to position it HIGH; right at the top front edge of your shoulder in fact. This position actually lifts the lower part of the belt (which goes across where the left boob used to be) up off my body just enough so that the belt is barely touching it. A thicker pad does a better job of this than a thinner one, obviously (which is why it's handy to make your own because you can test how thick it needs to be in order to do that). The pad does tend to slip downward a bit from natural movement while driving and so I always start by positioning the center of the pad (or even a bit below) at that top-shoulder point.



I find that I don't need the seatbelt pad at all in winter because the thickness of a fall or winter coat is more than enough to prevent any seatbelt pressure on the chest area.

Aerial

anneflorida--I'm only 4 weeks post-op and,so far, my experience has been similar to yours!

I had a mastectomy on my right side and after I finally had the drainage tube removed I got fitted for a compression bra (left side is about a C cup) and prosthesis.  Putting on my bra with the "oob" has started to feel like a normal routine.

I can't imagine setting myself up for more surgery (after having just one breast removed)--it just sounds like more pain and suffering.

I still have some fluid retention at the incision site. My breast surgeon aspirated the fluid last week and it's better--it's not a tight swelling just a little wiggley.  I'm not in any pain--just wish it would go away.

Thanks girls!  It's nice to hear from like-minded women on this matter.

I respect everyone's right to choose what is best for them.  I'm feeling good about my choice!

barbe1958

I found I was very protective of my chest as far as hugs went for about 6 months. Just felt too weird to feel someone else's chest!!! I slowly got used to it though.

Jing

Barbe1958, I enjoy reading your posts and I'm glad that you've hung around to help newbies like me.  I had my BMX at the end of May and definitely do not plan on any reconstruction.  I'm glad to hear that you're still happy with your decision not to reconstruct even three years after your surgery.  I was beginning to think that there were so few of us that did not do any reconstruction by choice.

There are lots of reasons for not wanting to do any reconstruction.  First, I already have neuropathy and my doctors can't agree as to what is causing it.  (I had the neuropathy before surgery and I have not had any chemo or rads.)  Second, my boobs were painful due to excessive swelling during each period.  Then to make things worse, I have periods every 25 days so most of the month, my breasts hurt - yes, I tried Midol, etc...  Finally, I have the most uneven chest I've ever seen on a female.  If I had done reconstruction, I don't see how I would not end up really lopsided - even if I wore foobs, it would be hard to make things look right.

Speaking of foobs, I do not even want to wear any foobs and I agree with Lena, no bras for the rest of my life!  My new normal is to finally be comfortable and not in pain.

The only problem I have is that my chest skin is very sensitive and I can't stand wearing a lot of shirts due to irritating seams or what seems like rough fabric.  (Neuropathy can make you hypersensitive in weird ways.)  So, I've been wearing a rashguard or Under Armour compression tee.  If I need to cover up (i.e. not look like I'm running a triathalon), I just put on any lightweight shirt over it.  

Life is good!