Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited July 2011

    Nothing yet, I don't expect to today, maybe tonight but I really doubt that too. Whatever, I'm menatlly exhausted!

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  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 3,225
    edited July 2011

    DF, I was hoping that when I checked in this evening you would have reported that he had called. Every day that goes by will give you a chance to think about what you want and need - not what he wants and needs. You have such a big heart but it's time for you to be selfish

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited July 2011
    So it's been since Monday night, is that right?    Hmm.   I still say you are going to hear from him, but he's got some 'splainin to do!
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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited July 2011

    Honestly at this point, nothing he says can explain or justify this... you're right not a word from him since Monday night. He never said he was suicidal again but who says those kind of texts, then leaves you hanging? Not someone that cares about you Cry

    What I want/need is the way he was before, but we all know that is not happening any time soon if at all. 

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited July 2011

     It is very selfish of him.    I thought he was a pretty nice guy, but there is no excuse for this.   Not after those texts.

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited July 2011

    I so agree... I excused his ignoring me while working through his issues, I excused this bad behavior. This I can't... :(

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited July 2011

    He just text. He's not ready to date, he's sorry, he should never of started something he couldn't see through, he feels like an ass and hopes I don't hate him! To be fair though he said he wouldn't of known if he hadn't tried...

     Wow, like i wanted to be his guinea pig? I sent him a big long response:

    Much of what you said has been obvious from the beginning. There is nothing fair about the games that you've played with me. I am just thankful to finally see you for the spineless "man" you really are. I know I am way beyond the woman you deserve and you're right. I can do SO much better. Much luck to you, you're certainly going to need it!

    Then ladies.... I blocked his # so he can't contact me again.

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  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 3,225
    edited July 2011

    So he really wasn't being totally truthful with you from the beginning. He was pretending to be someone different. Clearly, you are now seeing the real guy. What a jackass! And cruel as well. And breaking up by text!! Not even a conversation. Don't waste your time sending him a response. Not worth the effort

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited July 2011

    I already did, because I didn't want him thinking I was still a pushover and that his pathetic text was ok and I didn't hate him. No, he was just trying to see if he was ready or not. Total jackass is for sure.

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited July 2011

    He really did string you along - what a jerk...   I think he hooked up with the ex, but we'll never know.  

    If that was the case, he sure will be sorry.   But I think he'll be sorry either way.   Like he is going to find someone better than you?    NOT.    

    Broken up with in a 2-line text like I was - I think it's Michael incarnate!   

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  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 3,225
    edited July 2011

    He sounds like the kind of guy who will continue to do this to other women and maybe there were others before you. He's a totally f*^#ed up guy. Maybe this is why his wife stepped out on him. I know the past few weeks have been painful but now that you know the truth about him, I hope you will heal faster. You definitely are too good for him.

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited July 2011

    Yeah, even that guy you met that used to know him said he was a "total loser"....   he is messed up, too - has no clue what he wants.   You are very grounded and know what you want.   You deserve a committed relationship - not some moody guy who can't even return a text.

    He might even be using (drugs) again.

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited July 2011

    I had considered the drugs again. I am amazed at the complete 360 he's done. And he hopes i don't hate him??!

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited July 2011

    What did you think of the text I sent him. My friends loved it, a couple said it was perry hard and hurtful. Which honestly i think he deserves. I want him to remember me as having a backbone and not just saying ok And walking away. If that makes sense?

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  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 3,225
    edited July 2011

    I thought your text was perfect. Well done

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited July 2011

    Thank you so much! I hope it hurt him like he's hurt me. I've always been patient, laid back etc....bet he was surpurised. I got tired of being walked on and let him have it. At least I know he can't contact

    me again!

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited July 2011

    To be honest, it was harsh - but you are hurting and he mislead you.   It's only natural you would be angry.   I would be, too.

    He can't treat someone like that and expect them to not respond to it.

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited July 2011

    Oh well... I feel so much better about my response today though!! :)

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  • kiley58
    kiley58 Member Posts: 64
    edited July 2011

    Just catching up.  I think your message to hime was very good!  After what he put you thru I think I would have been harsher!  After what youve been thru, his actions and antics have been totally self serving!  Im glad you now see him for what he is!  That is why I say take it slow, it takes a while for a man to show his true colors.  The heart ache is just not worth it!  I think you can now move on DF. You and I thru your experience have learned a valuable lesson in this!   There are alot of very poor excuses for men out there, it takes time to see who they really are!  Eventually,they cant help themselves it rears its ugly head.  With what weve all gone thru, and still seeking love and relationship we need tp be wary.  Some men have no problem throwing us away like trash w hardly a thought only a excuse.  The result being our hearts our broken.  They seem to be able to put on such a good performance, but that can last only so long their true nature will eventually come out.  Keep seeking the right man.  I emphasize RIGHT  man.  But know it will take time.  You are a strong beautiful good hearted woman, know that and keep looking!  You deserve to be w  a honest loveing partner in life, not a selfish, game playing jerk!  Your response was perfect and I hope cathartic for you!     You go girl, and be glad you dodged a nother bullet!

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited July 2011

    DF, he came on very strong and then went awol.  That was cruel of him.   You had every right to say what you did. 

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  • kiley58
    kiley58 Member Posts: 64
    edited July 2011

    I wanted to thank you fearless for starting this thread.  It is challanging to have breast cancer, but facing it alone and the aftermath is...well... I have no words.  Thank you again for this place we can come and discuss these issues we have.  I apreiciate (wish I could spell)  the feed back and not feeling so alone in this walk....Thank You

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited July 2011

    Kiley, thank you for posting with us.   It's hard enough having BC, but to have to deal with it single is even harder.   Honestly, you ladies are so strong.   I look back at situations in my past and I wasn't nearly as strong as you guys.   

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited July 2011

    Thanks ladies for your support in this battle of BC and dating and the rest to come! He is such a loser I can't believe it still. Just got home from a spur of the moment road trip with the girls to the beach! Now headed to the pool. Staying busy is working so far :(

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  • sweetbean
    sweetbean Member Posts: 1,931
    edited July 2011

    DF, that text was AWESOME!!!  Good for you!!!! I'm so proud of you.  *sniff*  He sucks and he doesn't deserve you.  You can (and WILL) do so much better.  We have all dated losers, so don't beat yourself up at all for falling for this guy.  (I really liked the guy who dumped me when I got cancer.  Jackass.)

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited July 2011

    Thanks I do feel mean about it a little, but I have read it a few times and think wow... I bet he never saw that coming. I tried to be so patient and understanding with him lately and give him chances (aka made excuses for him) I would loved to seen his face when he read them. But... oh well :)

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  • sweetbean
    sweetbean Member Posts: 1,931
    edited July 2011

    Oh, don't feel mean.  Anyone who breaks up by text deserves to get his head handed to him.  What is he, 15?  Sheesh.  (And the guy that dumped me has been in touch, but I just ignore him.  He's such a narcissist - I'm sure it drives him nuts!)

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited July 2011
    Yeah, it's really cruel.   That's how my ex dumped me.   Well, it was sent from his Blackberry to my email.     Undecided    That would be a text, right?   And it was like TWO lines.    I never heard from him again, but unfortunately I never put him in his place like DF did.   I just never responded.   I should have told him what a d*** he is. 
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  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 3,225
    edited July 2011

    I agree it is tough going through BC but I think worse doing it alone. I had friends who were helpful but after everyone went home, I was alone. I still feel alone. Guys can be so hurtful. DF, you did all the right things and you should be proud of yourself. You should have no regrets. All of you will think this is silly but I really struggled when the guy I was seeing decided to renege on his promise to me - he still has never officially told me that he was dumping me - anyway tomorrow is his birthday and it will be the first time since I've known him that I have not sent him a birthday message. He always liked that I remembered. It's been a long painful journey and he treated me like "trash" at the end. I bet between the group of us, we could write a book. LOL

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  • kiley58
    kiley58 Member Posts: 64
    edited July 2011

    Yes we could write book, sad but true!  Hopefully w good ending for all of us!  It is good we have place to hash things out.  This dating esp. after cancer is very tricky I think.   Thankfully found a place for support, advice, and an atta girl  means so much to me.

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited July 2011

    I'm all for the book idea... we should do that! Sadly but it could be quite entertaining. I do feel pretty proud of myself for standing up and saying what was in my heart. I honestly hope it hurt him, I'll never know. I do love that he is still on my facebook friend list. Let him see what I'm up to, and see how happy I am and how I am living life and loving it without his sorry ass! I think I'm too nice, and too easy as far as giving in to their needs and the way they want things in general and putting ME on the back burner. I need to just be a royal b*&$% and maybe I'll have better luck? The guys I have NO interest in are falling at my feet. What's wrong with this picture? lol

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