There is No Breast Cancer Here

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Pure
Pure Member Posts: 1,796
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

I am on vacation...To celebrate my 2 years cancer free I have come somewhere I always dreamed of coming too-Hawaii..I am in Maui with my entire family. When I get back I start the recon process so  am enjoying my relaxtion and fun.

I travel a lot and it's so strange but when I leave my home, the place I was when I found out the news, when I leave  the town where EVERYONE knows I am the girl with bc, when I don't have to pass the hospital that gives me tx,  I feel so FREE of the disease. There is no bc here for me.

The fears I normally have day to day are gone. I feel relaxed, heatlhy, and have a strong glimpse of my old life.I even forgot about the disease while here. I don't feak out over pain.. I am starting to wonder why that is..Why can I leave my home, my town and feel way more at ease about the disease and have so much hope for the future. But then I go home and it all comes rushing back.

I am starting to wonder if I need to move...Can PTSD be made worse by living and being in the place it all happened? 

I hope everyone is enjoying there summer.I don't visit often b-c I am so busy living life but think of all you often and try to chime in when I can.

Blessings:)

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Comments

  • jennyboog
    jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
    edited July 2011
    I'm so happy you're getting this time with your family and the well deserved relaxation.  I know exactly what you mean about certain places bringing bc to the surface, I think it is PTSD.  It's funny you're getting relief from bc in Hawaii....that's where I was dx. so as beautiful as it is, it will always be "that" place for me.  I wanted to go to HI for so long and finally got the opportunity, I realize it would have happened no matter where I lived but it sure left a sour taste in my mouth for that placeSmile.  Enjoy your time, savor every minute and have a safe trip home.
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  • kimber3006
    kimber3006 Member Posts: 586
    edited July 2011

    So glad you're having such a good time!  I do think places can keep memories fresh.  We moved back in October and only a few people around here know I had bc.  I don't have any treatment memories in this house.  When I walk into our old house (still isn't sold yet), the memories are all there - good and bad.  I've always been that way with vacations in that I leave everything about my regular life behind - my worries, my thrifty nature, my work (I tell them not to call me unless the place burns to ground), which is the whole point of a vacation right?  Have fun!

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  • diana50
    diana50 Member Posts: 2,134
    edited July 2011

    Happy for you and family on a beautiful vacation.  getting away is part of the healing experience because you begin to move away from the trauma and begin to feel alive again.  maybe when you get back this time; the feelings of doom won't be so prevalent.  learning to feel positive and feeling those feeligs again, is part of the road back to yourself. ****

    hugs*

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  • bak94
    bak94 Member Posts: 1,846
    edited July 2011

    Pure, you deserve a great vacation and I am glad you are getting it! I wonder about the moving thing to, would it be a new beginning and feel good to get a fresh start? Or maybe you will feel so refreshed when you get back like diana50 said. Enjoy! Oh, and congrats on 2 years out!

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  • Karina121293
    Karina121293 Member Posts: 370
    edited July 2011

    Enjoy every minute Pure. You deserve it !!!!  And so happy for your two years.

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  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited July 2011

    Oh Jen,

    You hit the nail on the head, and ENJOY!!!!!  You've been through the wringer over the last couple years too, and you SOOO deserve this!  It makes sense though.  Like you said no constant reminders (I get those at work---are you doing OK?, everything alright?, all well meaning of course).  Vaca land where no one has to know about "it".  I don't know about moving, but for sure I think PTSD is real for us, at least I feel it is for me.  

    HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME and share some pics w/us soon!

    Love,

    Sharon

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  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze Member Posts: 4,668
    edited July 2011

    Maui is heaven on earth!  I would love to go back someday.  I stayed at Ka'anapali Beach and just loved every single second of my time there.  

    Enjoy the lovely plumeria scented air, the gentle breezes with the tiny raindrops and the gorgeous rainbows that are symbolic of your renewed life. 

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  • faithfulheart
    faithfulheart Member Posts: 544
    edited July 2011

    Jen, 

    I love Maui ,we went there right when my treatment was over!!!!  It might have been a little to soon , but hawaii is healing.  I really feel peaceful there. Enjoy every minute, and know this  is just a taste of the rest of your long life!'

    God bless Sweeti,

    Stephanie

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  • Claire_in_Seattle
    Claire_in_Seattle Member Posts: 4,570
    edited July 2011

    Hi Jen.....

    So glad you are having such a wonderful time!  Need to get there, but this summer it's two cycling weekends in places I have never been to.

    Think you are experiencing what happened to me a couple of months ago.  Looked up, and realized "it's over".  I was on my way to a new adventure, and suddenly the world had opened back up for me.  It does take a while.

    When you get back, I want you to bask in everything you have accomplished.  Amazing journey, and you have emerged victorious.  Do I need to remind you of "hot"????

    As for those who have a need for you to be the "cancer girl", just invite them on a run with you.

    That will put things into perspective for them. - Claire

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  • LuvRVing
    LuvRVing Member Posts: 4,516
    edited July 2011

    I love Hawaii, been there 5 times.  That said, I found my lump while in Kauai last May celebrating our 30th anniversary.  But I don't think it would stop me from going back.  Actually, I am positive about that!

    Regardless of where you live, where you go, it's important to set up a "cancer-free zone" once in a while.  DH and I just call it, and we both know there can be no cancer discussion for a while.

    Pure - I hope you enjoy every minute of this precious vacation.  And be sure to go to Haleakala for sunrise, it's so worth the trip and the early wake-up call!

    Michelle

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited July 2011

    LuvRVing..Thank you! I am actually going to the volcano tommorow

    Clarie-As always you know just what to say:) Thank you!

    Stepahine..That is beautiful..Thank you!

    CoolBreeza..I love that..My renewed life:) Thank you

    Thank ALL of you...Your posts are beautiful and so supportive!!! Loved waking up to this this morning. We are still in Hawaii until Sunday. We have had a great time. Thanks again:)

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