MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

My parents are both gone, my Dad having died of lung cancer just 3 years before I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I didn't want to upset everyone, so I really down played my situation. To my kids too!!! Everyone took it all in stride and took their signals off me. I think I should have played my hand a little harder and gotten some compassion....sigh. To eveyone else, it's over.

oh, thank you so much, everyone!!  it's good to know i'm not alone in that part of this journey either. my daughter's pregnancy is effecting her, i'm sure, but come on.  this is her second child and she makes a point about how hard it is for her and even said once, 'you picked a great time to get cancer' because i might not be able to help her when she has the baby.  she might be scared about the cancer, but she could at least display a little compassion/respect.  ugh.  maybe i'm just expecting too much.

Hi ! Barb58 !  very sad to  know about the views of your children on  Cancer. You know my children  have openly accepted me with BC. I got  full support  to fight with BC during  the entire period of my treatment... they act as my backbone..that is why  I could easily  past  6 years  till now  without having  any worry for my future.  though I knew  dead is inevitable for each and everyone  .. so tell them not to worry and scared  with Cancer.. as  these days medical sciences  are   advance tremendously with    invention of new medicins, new technic  of treatment  so & so...   so  we should be proud to be one under trial  with the desease. No matter  what  we struggle .. I feel good  to undergo these experiences in my life if I am not wrong.

mjb- hope the fluid does not return.

Three weeks post chemo and the facial hair has not returned.  My brother used to call me Frito Bandito when he was feeling mean because I had a fuzzy upper lip until I started waxing.

I had my sim for rads today will start treatment on Monday.

YaYa- Wonderful about all your scans coming out clear.  I have 2 daughters and they reacted very differently.  My oldest (32) waited with my husbad through surgery went to several Docotrs appointments with me when her schedule allowed.  She calls almost everyday to check on me.  The youngewr one (27) calls when she needs something and doesn't ask how I am but, I think she is happy when I tell her how things anyway.  I know it hurts when the ones you expect support from don't show it.  My DH really tries to be there for me but he just never seems to know what I need and I guess I expect him to be able to read my mind after all these years.

I'm probably 7 or 8 pages back at this point and wish I could say I'd read back, but I know me ... I won't. Caught on the subject at hand ... I was so lucky that hub (jsut the two of us at home) did a 360 during tx and was wonderful. Our girls reacted in diff ways (26 and 27, both on their own), the one that got me was my sister. She sucked at support! We're very close and whenever I'd try to share my fears with her - the only one I'd do that with - she'd give me about 10 seconds and then ask "Are you always going to do this?" So I stopped totally. Then she called me a few weeks later and admitted that she jsut couldn't bear the thought of losing me and that if she let me talk about it, it might be real, etc. etc. If a 56 yr old woman couldn't deal, how can we expect our young children to?  On the other hand, maybe if we stopped treating it as "C A N C E R" and tried to act like it was "just" a heart attack, or maybe a disk surgery, or any of those other things that also have the potential to kill, but are treated in the mainstream as commonplace, people might react differently.  I mean, you don't hear about someone "surviving" an angioplasty. Why not?

Sorry, didn't mean to go off, but that really is how I feel sometimes .. I wish the person who started the whole "cancer survivor" thing could tell me why they used that phrase! I j

Thank you all for the encouraging words.....I have days I've had it with numb fingers and toes and chemo brain which has me in a fog.  Today, I joined a fitness club hoping that will help me in feeling better.  I know I will enjoy this group and knowing I'm not alone with my feelings is helpful in my recovery.  Thanks again and my God bless you in your time of need.

I have two teenage sons. My 19 year old is like a brick wall "Mom, that's really too much info for me" ----and he wants to go in the medical profession. I love my son but he has the empathy of a rock(learned that from DH)---told him he might consider law school instead. My 15 year old is oblivious to the world--if it doesn't have a video game about it, he's not interested. He is great for giving hugs, he seems to know when I am at my worst and comes and gives me a very gentle hug. Two totally different kids.

Lynniea--how did your doctor visit go? Thinking of you!

Okay a video game about cancer.  The villains would be side effects, infections, etc.  The heros surgery, chemo and rads, but how do we portray these ugly thing as heros?

a teddy bear?

hamster hair ????

Shag carpet?

Guinea pig?

Wish it was ice cream!

marble?