Starting Chemo April 2009

Oh wow Judy, Friday is only three more DAYS! I remember the last three days before I moved. I didn't move most of the way across the planet, but moving out of a place I'd been living in for 25 years was definitely a big shake-up and I remember those last three days -- actually the entire last week, as being totally bizarre. At least you're still busy packing though, that'll take your mind off it. I did so much "pre-moving" so comparatively far in advance -- probably because I COULD -- moving  only 300 miles made it possible (oh, and only having to worry about my own stuff, since I don't have a husband or kids). But weird. I had gotten everything other than just enough to eat (plates, coffee pot that kind of thing) with all boxed up and ready to go, and was totally on my iBook since "all packed" meant the main computers were down too, a week or two in advance of the final moving day. I had almost nothing left to do for that week or two other than marinate in my own nerves feeling so anxious and jumpy I lost most of my appetite and constantly felt like my skin was crawling.  Earlier on when I'd been doing the packing and pre-moving, being so overwhelmingly busy consumed every last iota of my faculties -- it's like I didn't have a lot of time to freak out or melt down. So even if it's overwhelming chaos for you to get ready to leave up to the very end, believe me when I tell you that's probably a GOOD thing...

ROFLMAO Amy on your father's "hobo in Holland" story! One of my Sims buddies is from the Netherlands, and so was Lisa, the Patron Saint of Rats...who died of cancer 10 years ago. Dunno what kind of cancer she had though. Hey I'm surprised your dad didn't decide to learn how to SWEAR in Dutch too! Hmmm, maybe Karin will teach me, in exchange for all the Akaren swear words.....

Well, I had to leave the house today whether I liked it or not -- I had an appointment for physical therapy. Different therapist this time, though."My" therapist, who I saw last week, didn't have anything open for this week but she originally wanted me to have two therapy sessions this week, so she had referred me to one of her colleagues who has also treated mastectomy patients). So I had therapy today...and this therapist's jaw literally dropped when I fulfilled her request to move in various ways and show her the exercises I'd been doing so she could assess me in comparison to the notes she had on me. She couldn't stop complimenting me on how "amazing" I was doing!  Um HUH?! I'm shocked that she was shocked! :-O So it turns out that even though some things still pull/stretch/hurt a bit, I have almost all my range of motion back and I'm actually borderline physically ready for rads NOW! So she did some massaging my chest area skin while I held my arms up in various ways she told me to, and she gave me two new exercises. I don't have to have two PT sessions this week after all, I should just do all my exercises each day (the ones I was already doing plus the new ones) and have only one more PT session, two days before the rads simulation. 

And tonight is the Science Cafe, so I'm going out with my Pack Rat tonight. And yeah, bringing an "overshirt" for tonight since even though today was tank top shorts and sandals weather (80s and gorgeous), it does cool down at night more in NH than it does in NJ. On that note, I have to try to find some "evening wear" and an overshirt to go with it -- it's not fancy where we're going but I don't want to go in the black tank top and shorts I still have on from today. My exercise walk for today was around at the medical center, so I didn't feel so conspicuous. I parked my car way out in a far parking lot, walked to the building then once inside, all the way to the opposite side of the building to where the therapy area was; had my therapy, then walked back back through the building, all the way out to the parking lot. I think I got plenty of exercise today. 

Oh last night I finished the last slice of my birthday cheesecake. Every slice was just as "to die for" as the first. Even better, my weight is happily holding in the 120 pounds area, and I still have a few chocolate rat cookies left too -- YUMMM. Probably enough to last maybe 3 more days I think (I can eat two, maybe three chocolate rat cookies per day till they're gone, now that the cheesecake is all eaten up).

Laundry tomorrow! 

Hope you are all doing well ladies. We are moving out today, so just wanted to say hello. Stress levels are rather high .....

Wishing everyone a good weekend, I will try and come by again soon, thinking about you all.

Hugs to you all, Judy x

Have a safe move Judy (((HUGS)))

Betsy, that's what my counselor said when I told her at our Wednesday session about how uncomfortable I felt when everyone stared at me and I was thinking it was The Chest making me "damaged goods"! She said, "They could just have easily thought you looked very attractive." And that had never even OCCURRED to me!  Between the short hair, The Chest and the fact I just turned 50, I figure the best I can look is "good for my age," and/or "good for what I've been through" -- not stareworthy ATTRACTIVE.  I figured THAT kind of staring is for under-30 (youth itself is almost always attractive -- even though I didn't have a bikini-worthy body, still I used to stop traffic in my late teens and 20s but men stopped looking at me once I hit my early 30s) and/or supermodel lookalikes.

Anyhoo -- glad your arm is getting better. Sorry you have GI SEs from antibiotics, though.  :-( Hope you feel as good as you can, as soon as you can.

Gotta go now.. today's the Rock Swap.  

A rock swap is this: http://gilsum.org/rockswap.aspx

Much to my shocked surprise, I actually made it through the whole day and didn't get physically tired enough to notice/NEED to sit down and rest for four hours or so -- at which point it was closing down for the day anyway and Tas (my buddy) had to get going because she had a HS reunion to go to that night. Well, it was a LOT of fun (Tas is a Ph.D. geologist), well worth the price I paid in exhaustion the NEXT day... LOL ::::sigh::::

Hiking?! Wow Amy. You're DEFINITELY in better shape than me! 

I'm maybe going to have to copy a couple of them over into here, but Sat night I found some stuff (old correspondence of Tas and our email groups from 1996-2003; I was looking for this poem she wrote for me in1997 when I was hospitalized for flu complications but no one knew it and they all thought I'd dropped off the face of the earth) which first had me laughing insanely for two hours, and then realizing that perhaps I've miscalculated: you know how I was thinking recently (since the AIs left my system) that I'd gotten as many as 90-95% of my pre-cancer treatment marbles back? Well seeing THAT stuff, I gotta revise it to 75-80%......

:::::sigh::::: 

I do hope Judy's move is going well



An update on my retirement fundraising. I have exceeded my goal of $3,000. It is very exciting that so many people have chosen to donate to the breast cancer centre on my behalf

Yeah Judy must still be busy as sin. Since it took ME two weeks to get back here to say hi after MY move, I think we ought to give HER a month. Maybe a month and a half. 

I'm as ready as it's possible to be for rads as of today (hey, is ANYBODY EVER actually READY to become a radioactive mutant?). No problems whatsoever holding my arms as part of the simulation positioning, and, I got them to give me "covered marks" instead of tattoos. They gave me two tubes of cream to use on the irradiated areas of my skin and said they'll keep me supplied at no charge if I use them up, and I picked up a bottle of Ivory unscented liquid bath soap to shower with during rads.

So here's the GOOD NEWS: This coming week I'm FREEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! NO DOCTORS!!!! NO TESTS!!! NO NEEDLES!!! NO DRIVING TO DARTMOUTH!!!  (and my Pack Rat is coming back from CT tonight so I'm going to just have to get my hands on him nonstop).

And now for the BAD News: The Nightmare -- five days a week of 60 mile round trip for rads, with occasional side orders of blood tests, medical oncologist and psychotherapist visits all intertwined with the rads -- begins on July 12th and doesn't end till August 24th....and I'm going to be radioactive on my Pack Rat's birthday....

...and I'm doing this WHY....? 

Good job Helen on getting even MORE of the contributions you'd hoped for.  So was the party good (if you like parties, I mean)?

Geri the weather is gorgeous here, and yeah hope it stays that way. When will you be coming up? While I'm having rads, no doubt?  :-P I don't think you'll be around the corner from me though -- the closest town in Maine to where I am is more than a two hour drive (I'm much closer to Vermont than Maine or Mass). Well have a good vacation and you watch that Superfund NJ shore while you're in the Garbage State. I mean you might end up getting cancer, y'know? LOL

Helen - what a testament to you to have all those people come out to thank you and wish you well. That truly is a wonderful experience.  I went to my mom's retirement event - she worked in a school as well - and it gave me a whole other sense of her, hearing people speak of her that way (as opposed to me relating to her just as 'mom'). You should be very proud of your career & all the contributions you have made, as well as all the monies raised for the center. Congratulations!

In my news - DH and I went hiking again yesterday. We are 'practicing' for our vaca in a few weeks to Glacier Nat'l Park in MT. The hike we chose turned out to be MUCH more rugged, with lots of climbing over very slippery rocks and multiple stream crossing on slippery rocks. Key word was SLIPPERY. We were very carefully and didn't fall, but it was a lot more challenging/stressful than we anticipated. BUT we did it! We got home tired, sore and covered with mud. It was sort of funny (to me, anyway). I packed a picnic lunch, but not too well, apparently, because when we went to eat, everything was soaked, squished and pretty much ruined. HOWEVER- I ate every single bite and it tasted delicious to me! A good day celebrating our country's birthday by being out in the middle of the beautiful natural environment. Although did I mention those rocks were SLIPPERY?

Hope everyone is doing well. Judy - I hope you are doing well settling in at home again. Check in when you can.

Love to all
Amy

PS - Lena - could you maybe get some books on tape from the library to make the long drive to/from rads more interesting? When I used to drive long distances for work, I used them and they really did help.

Amy...just recognize the Rockies are high altitude...you may be in shape for the low lands but don't push too much. Be careful ok!

Titan, had not heard or read about OSU (every time you write it I think Oregon State University instead of Ohio State U) any hoo....wow...I did a google search now i know why you feel sick.

Glad you got a hot momma dress! You deserve it!

I just finished my last antibiotics...it set me back again. I am sick of my new body. My arm never seems to get better but hey I'm alive and I'm happy about that.

Lena...I'm glad your counselor agreed with me. Amy is right, get some good e-books for the rads commute. Rads aren't hard they just are time consuming. It cracked me up how upset some of the women got about their simulation tats...man...you can barely see them. Hell...if I'm gonna get another tat...it's gonna be big and bold. Funny what some people stress about.

Well...it has finally warmed up here in Oregon. AFT!

Judy...hope all is well with you.

Helen...I bet you are getting SO excited about retirement. I'm envious.

How was the weekend for everyone? It's very, very hot and humid here. I'm happy staying inside with the A/C cranked up.

Has anyone heard from Judy?

Oh Amy, you must be so stressed...but it sounds like the doc is pumping you up with the right meds..cortisone is a wonder drug, so I will be  saying extra prayers that you will recover and enjoy your trip.

Geri

Amy,I am so sorry that this is happening to you. I hope you wake up tomorrow with a miraculous recovery and that you have a wonderful holiday.

You are right, Titan. I can't think of any well known Heroes Unfortunately sports figures, politicians and entertainers are always disappointing. I think the real heroes and role models are teachers, friends, neighbors and parents and those people are often overlooked. University football is no big thing in Canada. Any kid who has a real athletic talent tries to get a scholarship to the US. To my knowledge there are no athletic scharships here. I think many of the football players in the CFL come from the US. We have a great hockey system but even then no scholarships. But we have our share of scandals here - same old stuff - sex, money, power



Amy, how are you today? Lena? Judy? We miss you

So we're going! Doc was very positive - he measured the 'area of concern' and it was reduced from 18 to 12 (microsomes or something? I didn't get the unit of measure).  He said the antibiotic is working and will continue to work. 

I'm less than confident about this. Still have very strong powerful itching outbreaks where the only thing that helps is ice and I don't know how that will work with the flying/traveling. And we probably won't hike as much as we planned/hoped. But still....I'm getting better and we're going.

Thanks for all the support. I'll let you know how it goes.

Amy

Amy, so glad to hear you are improving and can go on the trip - you will certainly need to modify what your activities are, and keep drinking plenty of fluids to hydrate, but it is great that you seemed to have turned the corner and can go.  It's certainly not the trip you had planned, but, as we all know, planning doesn't always work

Have a wonderful time and keep us posted.

Judy - hope we see you on here soon...I know we're all missing you.  And Lena - you have been very quiet - everything ok?

To everyone else - a big HI