Chemo May 2011

Ok I have been feeling like a burden.

BUT I had this thought the other day.

I know why I have cancer it is because we are all tooo productive!!  LOL

explanation for when we have chemobrain- we are producing the cells too well thus the cancer.

Beagles girl, MamaV and Cyborg, I hope this is not the new "normal," because, if so, it sucks. All of this is severely depressing. I have never been depressed before or felt the need to get a therapist but maybe, it's worth a try. There are also family resentments brewing. I understand most people have their own lives; jobs, families, kids, responsibilities, etc. But, you expect family to help or at least, offer to help, in a crisis, and when they dont, you really feel betrayal. This is not good for our overall health, either. In some ways, this psychological mess is worse than the damn cancer eradication!!



Blonde lawyer, I get the crushing headaches, too. The Onc's office claims they are not "usual" on Taxol but, those who've experienced it say otherwise. With AC, I thought the Cytoxan is known to cause headaches. I also don't fear cancer spread because the headaches only seem to occur around days 3-5 after treatment. To me, this is the most debilitating of the SE's. Feeling your pain.

txladysara:  Are you taking steroids?  Those can really throw your schedule off!  If you are routinely having sleep issues I would bring it up with my onocoligst and he/she may be able to help.  You need good sleep during all of this!

Morning ladies,

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry everyone is dealing with family issues and feeling depressed.  I feel like a couple of friends have abandoned me, one I'm actually thankfull for, she cleans houses for a living and when I was having issues with my incision site and was told not to lift/move my arm I asked her to help my husband by coming over and doing a light cleaning in our main rooms and she was kind enough to only want to charge me 1/2 her normal price.  Now, I've been cutting and coloring her hair for FREE for about 10 years.  AND what's worse, she's so stuck on herself that the one time she came over to visit me all she could focus on was my hair loss and how she wouldn't be able to handle it.  I really need to move on but I get so annoyed thinking of her selfishness.  Stress is so bad for all of us and we all need to learn how to let it go, I keep thinking I'm going to try meditation but forget to look into it.  Has anyone else tried it?  Txladysara, what a good idea! 

Hope everyone has a good week.

Hope it is going well w/ you beaglesgirl, sending prayers your way. Mccrimmon glad you liked the idea. Well my sleeping pattern is really really bad. Early this morning I was on my netbook sitting on my kitchen table when I got a bad dizzy spell, this freaked me out, I had to hold on to the table. Good thing is that it was over very quickly 15 seconds max. But I felt clammy afterwards and it did scare me so I went ahead and lied down on the sofa for a bit, saw some tv show then went to bed this must of been around 8am, fell asleep quickly which was great but was awake by 10am and couldnt go back to sleep grrrrr. Not feeling great, not feeling that bad either but have been having major tummy issues and now I think I have hemroid to top it off. Told the Dr. about it yesterday and told him i have been bleeding when I go and he said that I should do Colace first if that doesn't work to go ahead and try miralax, i did take a colace. Well while i was still in bed this morning I got tummy pains and chills. Ofcourse this scared me again but... they went away didnt last too long. Grrrr i hate that I get scared right away.   

Beaglesgirl I got my first Docetaxel yesterday, I think Taxol is from the same family and it went well.... it was way shorter to aminister than FEC, so I was happy to be home earlier. I was feeling regular during the first part of the day and just not so great in the evening. I really think it's my sleeping schedule isn't helping at all. I am sure that you will be fine. I am 2/3 over have only two docetaxel left Yay!!!  So you have a blessed day.  

neecee, my husband is pretty social with the people that he works with, he told me about a month ago that alot of people that used to come up and chat with him completely ignore him now.  I guess they don't know what to say so they can't even be nice enough to say hello.

Yup. Me too! Boss is a heartless SOB and coworkers are "complaining" that I'm getting special treatment. You want some of my special treatment????? People just suck.



How's that for a bad attitude? Ha ha!

I have to say that my work has been wonderful and very understanding.  It's just me and 4 guys, sometimes I think they let me do whatever I want so I don't cry.  My boss especially can't handle when girls cry so he's always very nice to me.  LOL. 

MamaV-The next time someone accuses you of getting special treatment definitely offer some of yours!  I bet that would shut them up.  I just don't understand people.  They can be so self absorbed sometimes!

MamaV - I was in upper management when Alan passed away and I had a stroke... As the weeks went on the care and "love" ended from my employer. I too became a burden. Luckily for them I was deemed unable to work, you can't very wellcompensate someone 6 figures when they have huge blanks in their memory.



After three years I still need 20 or more alarms tomkeep me on task here at home. But I won't need to write this down about being let down by the ppl in my life. Something tells me that this is going to stick.

Well I can relate all too well in terms of being disappointed or feeling abandoned by various "friends". Our phone barely rings anymore. It's like most people think once you're out of surgery, you're better.



This tx is a long process. And people just simply forget.



Its amazing though who actually steps up and who fades away. Cancer is definitely a closet cleaner when it comes to friends.

Hi ladies,

I've been off the board for a few days.  Just dealing with some serious fatigue.  I went to give blood today since I'll be in the chair tomorrow for my first Taxol, the nurse couldn't get my port to draw blood.  It was the first time this has happened and I'm scared.  She said it'll probably work tomorrow.  I hope so because I don't have good veins at all.  She drew blood from my one decent vein and could only get a vial and a third of a second vial.  That was really weird too.  I feel like I don't have anymore blood to give and I'm so tired.  I was anemic before all of this even started and on an Iron regimin, but that doesn't seem to be working anymore.  I'm frustrated.  But, I've got to get this cancer out and move on to the next stage of my life.  We all do and will. May God bless us all.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} untill next time.

Marcya, I had that problem with my port last week when they were trying to draw labs. They put some enzyme stuff in it and it still didn't work. They said it probably will work for my treatment on friday-well I sure hope so! I was scared to, thinking of all kinds of bad things that could be causing it. Hopefully it was just a fluke.

Bkj66, it's this attitude of "ok, that's enough- get up and get back to work and stop milking it"



ppl don't understand that we would gladly do ALL of the crap that we get out of doing. Good lord... One day in my shoes PLEASE,



I agree shut them out, don't give them that energy... It is yours to heal with. (((hugs)))

I am very thankful for my husband, one of my brothers and one of my sisters! They have been mostly wonderful through all of this and I so appreciate them. They seem to get it, so I do feel lucky to have them in my life. Of course there have been quirks with my husband, but nobodies perfect, right?