Anyone do a will after dx?

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jennyboog
jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

I'm not trying to be a morbid but this has been on my mind alot lately....did anyone do a will after dx?  I guess actually it should have been done before bc but it wasn't and now due to bc I'm feeling the pressure to get it done.  I have 2 small children to think about and take care of. 

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  • maryann77
    maryann77 Member Posts: 33
    edited July 2011

    Hi, jeenyboog! I had a will made when I had my kids. Wanted to make sure that if anything happened to me, that they would be well looked after. It's always a good idea regardless if you have cancer or not. It's not saying that you won't beat this, it's just being protective of your kids!

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  • annamari
    annamari Member Posts: 82
    edited July 2011

    I upgraded my willduring the diagnosing period and just after.  I had a very large area of malignancy and also because it was time to do since mine was outdated.  The children are grown up and there are grandchildren in the mix now.  Having a will is an investment in life not death.  We realize our mortality when we recieve word of a potentionally fatal disease.. We do not know how long we will be on this earth even without a cancer diagnosis.  An accident can snuff out our lives just as easily. Your childerndeserve your preparedness.  God bless you.  Get the will done regardless!

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  • mrsnjband
    mrsnjband Member Posts: 1,409
    edited July 2011

    I should do one but haven't done one yet. NJ

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  • everyminute
    everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
    edited July 2011

    I work for attorneys - estate planning is one of our specialties (and no I am not trying to sell anything - lol) .  My point is that I have had wills, trusts and life insurance for years - I did update them when I was diagnosed - things got just a little "realer".

    I know people hate to talk about wills, death and dying but it made me feel better to have everything in place...just in case

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  • jennyboog
    jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
    edited July 2011

    Thanks everyone.  I know we should have had one by now bc or not, I guess I was living with the "that will never happen to me" attitude.  On to the hard part now...deciding what should be done :(

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  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited July 2011

    Did the Living Will thing not long ago, got it all in order before my DIEP procedure---just in case.

    Sharon

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  • lifelover
    lifelover Member Posts: 553
    edited July 2011

    Making a will was one of the first things I did.  I was going through a divorce at the time (still am) and it was important for me to legalise my decisions in respect of who was to be my health guardian (if necessary) and my executor.  I did not want my husband involved.

    The will was easy to make but the executor and guardian papers took awhile to be registered legally and become effective.  Two months later, and all is in place though.

    It was important for me to talk about this with my family and to see what their wishes were as well.  I also changed beneficiaries on my various pensions and savings to reflect my current (soon to be divorced) status so that my family would benefit solely.

    It made me feel in control just to get it all done and I could rest about those issues.

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited July 2011

    I have never made a will because I have never had much to leave except things like insurance and IRAs. They have stated beneficiaries, so I didn't see the need.



    But I just bought my first home (was always a renter before), and I do see the need to have a will for that. It could get complicated since one child lives with me, the other's on his own.



    Time to start the ball rolling, I guess.

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  • Jayne_in_UK
    Jayne_in_UK Member Posts: 517
    edited July 2011

    My DH and I had been talking about making our wills for years, we also should have done it sooner but it kept getting put off.

    Not long after I was diagnosed DH said "We really must get those wills sorted out." I'm sure he thought I wasn't going to be around for much longer. Anyway, more than 2 years after diagnosis I'm still here and we did finally get the wills done. I felt better knowing it was all sorted.

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  • Traci-----TripNeg
    Traci-----TripNeg Member Posts: 2,298
    edited July 2011

    I did.

    ((hugs))

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  • diana50
    diana50 Member Posts: 2,134
    edited July 2011

    yeah, i did all that stuff; will, health care directive and living will.  i also decided to donate my body to science...as a gift to loma linda medical center here in california. as time passes; wills can be changed if you wish.  i actually found a good website Legalzoom. com where you can get all the paperwork for whatever state you live in and it is reasonable cost. 

    i think taking care of legal things is important for everyone; but i think having cancer got the "ball rolling" so to speak.  otherwise i may have just "waited"...for what i don't know* hah

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  • kira1234
    kira1234 Member Posts: 3,091
    edited July 2011

    Boy this is something I never thought about. I had one made years ago when the kids were young. I will be doing this asap. We won a business we didn't have back then. I really need to make decisions on who should have control of it. So glad I saw this today.

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  • Romansma
    Romansma Member Posts: 1,515
    edited July 2011

    I think about it and know I should do it. As I write this, there is a Legalzoom commercial on about wills.......why do I keep ignoring it? Ignorance is bliss........?

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  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited July 2011

    Yes, I did my will after my diagnosis.  Neither my DH nor I had wills prior to us both getting cancer.  Thankfully, I realized that we needed them badly, and now we have wills, powers of attorney and living wills.  I highly recommend all three. 

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  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited July 2011

    We've been talking about it for years.  But I'm so paranoid of attorneys!  Too many divorces in the families where it seemed like the attorneys were milking things (sorry, Everyminute).  I'm going to check out the Legalzoom site. 

    The other catch is that my DH has 3 daughters and I have a son and a daughter.  I don't trust one of his daughters and she has really made a mess of her life.  I'm worried that if I go before him then somehow my kids will be left out in the cold.  But on the other hand I want to pass things on to him so that he has money to live off of.  

    I've always had the larger salary due to my degree.  And my two kids have done very smart things with their money such as going on and getting bachelors and masters and developing careers with potential.  He has one daughter who has been very resourceful and is building a good, solid life.  Am I being wrong to consider any inheritance as a "reward"?

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  • starbeauty
    starbeauty Member Posts: 327
    edited July 2011

    Did the will, healthcare proxy, POA and wrote my own funeral plan. dealing with a BC dx forces it on you.

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  • suzanneinphoenix
    suzanneinphoenix Member Posts: 208
    edited July 2011

    Yep, I did....I also did a Healthcare Directive....I think I did a DNR at the hospital, too.  I was ready for all of it...oh, and I did use Legal Zoom.

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  • DivineMrsM
    DivineMrsM Member Posts: 9,620
    edited July 2011

    My DH and I had our wills made up years ago when our DS was about 10.  We wanted to be sure at the time if anything happened to us, he would have a legal guardian that we both agreed on and not someone that was appointed by the state of Ohio where we live.  Once it was done, I felt very grown up. I haven't revisited that will since then, I really need to, even tho our DS is an adult.  But for those of you who have yet to do it, it really is a good idea and imo offers peace of mind.  It's not morbid, it's being responsible and that's a good thing. 

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited July 2011

    I already had a will in place, but updated it so it would be current. If you have young children, you should definitely have a will (whether you have BC or not) so that guardianship, who will manage the estate until they are grown etc......all those issues are taken care of ,and if your kids are adults, it will give them way less of a hassle when they have to settle your affairs (which will happen at some point, even if we live to 103). Also, if there are certain charities or organizations you would like to leave some money to......that is the only way that you can make sure it will happen. My parents pre-planned everything, and it was a wonderful gift that they gave to us by not having to guess at their wishes.

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