On That Roller Coaster Again

hey Shar, just checking in and saw this. I think our bodies do have more aches and pains after all the treatment, but it is a total b*(#@ figuring it all out. I think radiation does waaaay more lasting effect than the docs say - it would make sense (and I support radiation as a treatment tool, but just noting it is quite powerful).

I guess I would keep an eye on it, also reminding yourself that you've done really well so far. And you're not a "debbie downer". You're just being honest about the emotional roller coaster that is cancer/survivorship/ etc etc.

thinking of you today. will PM you later - off to a baby shower shortly.

xo

janyce

NOT debbie doiwner.  you are coming to the place to put it out there and get some responses.

 bottom line is that you are scared....immediately after treatment...and often times a few years later...ANY ache or pain is scarey.  so, yeah, just keep putting it out there; people will respond.

we can't reasure you that it is nothing; all we can do is support you and offer suggestions.  anything that continues to be bothersome...whether you feel it or not...(ie..lumps) should be taken to your onc.  our doctors WANT us to be ok; they EXPECT us to come in with aches and pains to have them checked out. 

it really does take a long time to get used to your post treatment body; and all the side effects from treatment.  additionally, the healing is a long term event.

i was "crazy" for a few years after i finished treatment; iam sure my peeps thought "why doesn't she get OVER this"  but alas...they had not experienced what i had experienced.

i wish i could help more; wave a wand to make everything better.  but, i can't. 

stay in the moment; just do today.  follow up with your onc if necessary.  keep on and don't give up.

Peace**

I'm sorry you're having another scare, such is our life now I guess.  Its always something it seems, I posted weeks ago about my hip/back, it hurt for more than the 2 wk rule, in fact it hurt for over a month.  Dr. said it sounds like piriformis syndrome, gave me some muscle relaxers (I didn't take them) but you know what it slowly went away on it's own.  I'm not saying that's your problem, just saying I think these drugs just do weird things to us and then it doesn't take much to pull or injury things either.  I'm trying to listen to my gut and not my mind because I can't trust it for aches and pains anymore.  It sounds like a good thing that it feels soft tissue, so we can rule out bone, kidney's are definetly an option but so is refered pain.  You're no Debbie Downer, you had bc & this is what we do....I hope you find comfort and relief real soon.  Try not to worry until you have a real reason too.  Hugs and prayers going your way.

Sharon, I knew what you meant when you said "tissue" rather than bone. When I had my pain, it felt better when my husband pressed his fist into the area that hurt. Little did I know that was actually stopping the spasms of my kidney! Kidneys are funny animals....and I don't mean hehehehhee funny.

Sharon, they didn't even consider my kidney because of how high it was in my back. Apparently my kidneys ARE very high up in my back!!

Bone density won't help on any diagnosis for this, but will at least give you a reason to call your doc for results. Is that what your thinking is?

Sharon, it's all the crap that we go thru that makes us crazy now with every pain.  I'm still going thru pain in my right hip since all the scans, and now that my onc has cleared me as NED, my mind still wonders into the what ifs.  Talk to your onc.  I get the pain in my bones and joint and spine and that makes me really worry, but also the deep tissue pain even gets to me because then I'm wondering if all the cancer treatment has caused fibromyalagia. Breast cancer and treatment gives us such head trips.  I think it's post traumatic too.  Swear I sound like a hypocondriac to myelf when I complain to my husband

You should call your doctor. My onc said that if it's non stop pain and doesn't go away to call and meet with him.   I just scheduled a massage.   I go to Northwestern Hosp in Chicago and they offer 5 free messages to breast cancer patients.  Taking advantage of that.  I'm hoping that will cure all my pains.  I thinks most of it is stress related.  

Sharon,

I've got to add my 2 cents. 

Note: I say 2 cents but it seems like I can't ever write a post that's less than $1.95 worth of words but the total value is about 2 cents!  BTW - whatever happened to the cent sign?  They were on the old typewriters!

I have tried and tried to feel better.  I still go to the physical therapist.  I do my exercises.  I take my pills. I try not to take the vicodin until I really need it (tylenol, aspirin, aleve, motrin don't help).  But no matter what I do I have my good days and bad days.  And lately there have been more bad than good.

I am not a hypochondriac and I am sure that you aren't either.  It's not our imagination.  We get pains that we've never had before.  Sometimes for a day and sometimes for weeks.  I was hoping my getting off Aromasin would bring me some relief.  My feet are a little better and my hands a little better but it's been 3 weeks off and I still get headaches, swelling in my hands, on/off hip pain and today my lower back is as tight as a drum.  The only good thing is that I'm weaning myself off paxil and I haven't noticed any deteriation of my moods.

I don't have answers.  I've been struggling to find answers for myself.  I just wanted to let you know that I'm in the same boat.  Why can't we have  just have a positive attitude and we get our old bodies back?? Grrrr!

I just went through the same thing on the vacation bit. I was feeling pretty bad but I was scared to go to the onc and find out negative news right before we left.  Specially because it was a wedding for my late sister's daughter.  I wanted cancer out of my mind during her special day -- I knew she was wishing her mom could be there and I didn't want to be a reminder.

Well, hubby insisted I make an appt.  He was right.  Everything is negative.  That's when the onc said to stop taking the Aromasin and we'll switch to something else after a 4 week reprieve.  I also asked for something besides Ativan since that does nada to help me sleep.  The Xanax works much better for me so at least I have a crutch if it's one of those anxiety nights.

The vacation would have been much worse if I hadn't gone and I was still thinking those "what if" thoughts.  My body didn't improve much but my attitude did.