No reconstruction- Happy w/your decision?

hi all i got the drains out yesterday!! yay. i was wondering if after you get them out if its normal to have some drainage leak out of the holes that are left. he put gauze on it but overnight i soaked the gauze. if i push a bit around the scar some more oozes out. is this normal? dr still told me no housework or arm motion but can walk with arms still. in another week he said i can add activity. anyone else have oozing? thanks!!!

shippy I read of someone who bled, not oozed and that was still okay. I remember oozing but it stopped pretty quick.

Norma June, couldn't they just use Alloderm to replace the bad skin and leave you flat? Or did you WANT reconstruction? Your post reads like you want to stay flat and they can't help you unless you get reconstruction. If you WANT reconstruction, then that makes a difference.

shippy, I have found that button down shirts with slight princess seaming and on-seam button pockets are concealing, with one addition.  I bought some lambswool (in the foot care aisle of my local store).  I fluff up a little bit of the lambswool and button it into the pockets - not enough to try to look buxom - just enough to not look sunken or totally flat.

NJvictoria, I'm afraid to ask but what are 3D nipple tattoos?

If my BS had gotten me smoother instead of concave on the top, funny little boobs on the bottom I wouldn't worry at all and in a lot of tops it's not really noticeable, but it is nice to have ideas for something inbetween having to wear forms and going totally flat or sunken, especially early on. 

You go, Snippy!  I oozed for a day or two after the drains came out until the scabs healed over.  Until then, I kept bandaids over them to keep the ooze off my clothes.  I saw where someone wore panty shields over theirs.  And yes, I was allowed showers.

Everyone up there is giving you GREAT advice.  Remember, you are going through this all over again, and you are grieving....it's hard.  VERY hard.  You do have to learn to dress differently...very true... But do what was suggested and try on all kinds of tops, even ones you wouldn't normally wear.  You'll find that your body size has changed, along with the shape.  Just avoid those stinkin' darts!  I found some cute things even at Old Navy, too....just wish some had been cheaper   Layering works great....a cami with a thin shirt over it, letting it hang partially open works well.  OR wearing a clingy t-shirt and a scarf works well for me (as long as the neckline is a little lower than a traditional t-shirt). 

And for swim suits, I found that using the yoga/exercising tops were perfect.  They are longer in length and with the varying patterns of the fabric, it detracts from the chest and I can wear them with the tankini bottoms I already have. 

Be patient with yourself....Give it time....

blessings..robin

Shippy, as robinlbe mentioned scarves are another thing that make tops you wouldn't think you could wear totally wearable.  If you have any already they're a quick fix to help get you through the transition.  You've been through a lot.  Please be kind to yourself and take the time you need to adjust.

robinlbe, do the 3D nipples involve any surgery (like how they form nipples for reconstruction) or is it just the way the tattooing is done?

Ladies!    I just saw the cutest tops ever (in my opinion) at our New York and Company store today....they are perfect for US!  I am on a limited budget, so I only purchased two of them, but I could have gotten so many more!  They are mostly on sale for "buy one, get the second for 50%"  With the two I tried on, I couldn't even tell I was totally flat-chested, with dents:)  I was SO excited     These are the BEST I have ever had!!!

Just had to share !!

blessings...robin

Ooooh, what about this one! 

http://www.nyandcompany.com/nyco/browse/productDetailWithPicker.jsp?productId=prod3620028&categoryId=cat730008&FLCat=cat60162&facetType=%3F%3F%3FPRICE%3F%3F%3F&productId=prod3620028&categoryId=cat730008&addFacet=1002%3Acat730008

Lunakin, that is perfect!

Karen, you probably started wearing a bra too soon. Give the area a chance to heal before you do that. I haven't worn a bra for 2 1/2 years and don't plan to ever again!!!

Those tops are PERFECT!!!!!!!

http://www.nyandcompany.com/nyco/browse/productDetailWithPicker.jsp?roductId=prod4010263&categoryId=cat790002&addFacet=1002%3Acat790002

   this is the other one I got.....can't get the link to copy, though (I think *that* link is for the first shirt....)

There are SO many good tops from which to choose...I was so excited

blessings..robin

me, AGAIN.....but, if you click on the link for the first shirt that I got....I bought it in the pink color, not the black one..... (not that it really matters, I don't guess...ha!)

went shopping for a wedding this weekend and really felt down probley for the first time. Trying clothes on was horrible, I  have gained weight and couldn't find anything that looked good. Very depressing. Makes me not want to shop.

Nancy

Nancy, I hope you are feeling better today. I sure can relate to your struggle and frustration. I had a closet full of dresses from my pre-BM days, along with three I purchased post-BM when I was in the early expansion phase of my recon. Two were purchased for a wedding and the other for a family event. I can still wear those three dresses today after having my implants removed and going flat. The rest of my dresses no longer worked, and I had to let them go. I spent one morning trying on everything and ended up in a puddle of tears.



You just have to try on a lot of things and see what works. For me, a dress that has a less fitted top with some kind of distracting detail and a fitted waist works best. I have found that a variety of styles can work, as long as the fit and proportions are right. When I had breasts, not every dress I tried fit well, regardless of the style. Same thing is true being flat. Three dresses in the same style may not have the same proportions, so it pays to at least try a couple in each style so you get a sense of whether the fit is off or if the style itself doesn't work. We've all had to dress to play up our good features and minimize others. It's the same game with an additional factor. I promised myself that if I couldn't find clothes I love on my own, that I would take advantage of a personal shopper. Macy's and other dept stores will provide assistance if you make an appt. I know I'm definitely going to use this for winter clothes and when I need to revamp my work wardrobe.

Hello to all. I am on breast cancer #3 - DCIS again...and this time, a mastectomy is scheduled. I had radiation in 2001 and so, it's been 10 years and back again.  I am scheduled to do reconstruction at the time of the mastectomy but my gut and my overall feeling of - 'no more of this' is telling me to forget the reconstruction and just have the mastectomy. This is my left side only- so I would have one breast left..but after reading some of the forum comments on reconstruction - I am not inclined to do this. I am almost 59 (in a week) and also have had thyroid cancer 3x...so, like I said  - ready to be done with this. All of you seem quite ok with  no reconstruction...and I am starting to join the fold on that philosophy.