Husband just diagnosed

I was not surprised that I had cancer, I sensed it through my career that I had in the Navy. Cancer was something that my chances of getting were higher than some. I had worked in areas where I was exposed to more radiation than most people. In fact that the last 11 years of my career I was teaching people that they should not be doing it the way we had done it for the first 10 years. When the doctors told me it was breast cancer , I was sort of taken back but I went out and told people that is what I had. In fact I have been telling more people that men do get it and that it is something men must check on. Last year when the post office came out with the breast cancer stamp, a poster was put up in the local post office saying that basically you should make sure your female relatives check for breast cancer. I convinced the Post Office lady that men do get it and I knew that for a fact. They changed it to include all relatives should check themselves for breast cancer.

Hansie, I've not read all the posts here but just in case nobody has mentioned........EricV is posting too.  He is a man with b.c.

Jennifer,

I am so glad that you and your husband have strong support from your family and friends! Please continue to keep us updated too... we're always here for any extra support you may need!

Wishing you the best...

Rose. 

Prayers going up!

Jennifer. This is my first visit into this forum, but your headline happened to catch my eye when I came into BCO tonight. I've read through the thread to get 'acquainted' and I'm so glad that you've made it over the first hurdle of now sharing the news with your own family and IRL friends. That is obviously going to be HUGE in the journey ahead -- having the support of your loved ones.

I can't begin to imagine the 'unique' feelings that must be your husband's and yours to share vicariously, by being in such the minority of the equation. I'm so glad that some of the men have already offered their voices of experience and their support.

Each of us has our own timetables to each portion of the journey. I personally didn't tell me own quasi-adult daughters until well after my surgery and half way thru rads -- as they were each geographically at a distance. I, too, chose to tell them in person when I was able to be with them. Many here thought I was outta my gourd at that decision, but it is what worked for me at the time. Sharing with the children, does indeed make everything seem much more 'real' taking things from the bad-dream stage into the light of day. That's probably a good thing in retrospect.

I respect your husband for needing to come to grips on his own time-table. Seems completely understandable. The part about the pink envelope for the films was just deplorable on every possible level. I hope that when one or the other of you have your bearings and a 'grip' on the day to day that you raise a real ruckus over that cartoon-like, embarassment that was ladeled on top of the announcement itself.

That seems like something that raising a real STINK over -- would benefit everyone. Maybe don't get a grip. Maybe just have a big hissy-fit. Unfortunately that's sometimes how things move forward, someone has a hissy.

Over the whole pink-stigma-women's disease, I can't even begin to imagine. When you're here in Oct you'll see an entire spectrum of feelings from the female survivors over the color pink..... I can't imagine what the men think.

One day at a time. One hour. One decision.

Know that there are many caring, wonderful, encouring folks around here -- but like me, they may not even think to pop in on this forum. Know also that there are some amazing 'threads/forums' for prayer support and inspiration. We have a "garden" thread where prayers are said for one another, for family members and a lot of hymn singing goes on -- as well as great photos of natural beauty/gardens/flowers. You'd be welcome on any of these other threads..... a quick 'my husband yada yada' intro and we can heap prayers on the two of you!!!

Be strong, be weak, or just be -- with one another.

Keep in mind that people say the "ding-bat-i-est" of things to we, the female survivors, so I can lay odds that your husband will hear downright idiotic stuff. There does come a point where you learn to shrug your shoulders and realize what is said is a reflection of the speaker and let it go at that. I will hope that your support system is superlative in every way.

You've done a great thing, by coming here for support. For yourself. For your dear husband.

I wish you every 'easy' decision as you inform yourselves.

xx00xx00xx00xx

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

Strength and courage.

It is so nice to read such an open forum on male bc.  I don't think I have ever read such a good conversation full of support and care.  Keep it up.

Hi Jennifer...

Just thinking of you, and hoping that you and your husband are doing well. Wishing you a nice Memorial Day weekend!

Rose.

Jennifer,

I will share with you a funny story about when my mom found out her brother had breast cancer.

My Aunt called my Mom and said, "I just wanted you to know that your brother is going in for a mastectomy" My Mom hearing this all wrong and knowing her brother and sister in law are in their mid 60's said, "Isn't a bit too late for that?"

Took my Mom awhile to realize my aunt said mastectomy and not vasectomy!

Jennifer,

Good luck to your husband on Monday. I hope you both like and are as comfortable with the surgeon as you are with the oncologist. Ask lots of questions! I'm glad that your husband is more comfortable with his diagnosis, but I certainly don't expect him to be wearing any pink ribbons... I'm not a big fan of those myself!

Happy Weekend...

Rose. 

Hi Jennifer! My good thoughts and positive energy are headed your way! My husband was diagnosed at the end of Feb 2011, he had surgery on April 13th. (Right full mastectomy) Thankfully his lymph node dissection came back negative and he is on the road to recovery! He just started chemo this Wednesday and the side effects change day to day. His BRCA test came back negative and his onco test on the tumor itself came back at a 12. He has a low rate of reoccurrence, however due to the length of time he had symptoms that went un treated and his young age of 36, the oncologist recommended chemo. My brave brave hubby is willing to do anything it takes to rid himself of this disease! I can't believe it's taken me this long to find a forum to share our experience and see others. All my best! Jen</p>

Hi Jennifer,

I'm new here posting to the forum, but not new to cancer.  I'm stage 4 BC as of this spring, originally diagnosed Stage 2B in 2005.  Full mastectomy + 2 nodes, right side.  I had Testicular CA in the early eighties, so I've been through the issues (is it Karma?).  Yes, the BC diagnosis was a little strange at first, but in the end, it is what it is.  You just learn to roll with it.  There are so many advances since the eighties when I felt like it was a cancer wilderness.  Cisplatin chemo was no fun.  So, there are over 1800 of us gents here in the US with BC.  I wish your husband the best.  Keep us posted.

Diagnosis: 2/14/2011, Stage IV, ER+/PR-, HER2-

Hi Jennifer,

I just had the same experience as you.  My husband was diagnosed the june 16th and had mastectomy June 23. Her was shocked but able to go through it because we had already been through it with me a few years ago not breast cancer but blood cancer( happy to say I am in remission) He told our kids one at a time because he has a big hx of breast cancer in women in his family. IDC stage 2 BRACA1and 2 neg node involvement. I am wanting to find studies on male breast cancer are the drugs going to react the same...Let me know where you guys path takes you

Thanks also to the men and women supporting us here we appreciate you