Rules for reporting posts - please advise

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2011

    July:

    Your suggestion would make a lot of sense for the people that use this website as a social network rather than a resource.  Great idea.

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited June 2011

    The social network of BCO is a resource for many of us, especially oldtimers who have made long time friends here.

    Many of us have created sites elsewhere on line, we still enjoy the camaraderie of BCO.

    Bren

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  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited June 2011

    You suggest banning friendship on BCO?

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  • crazy4carrots
    crazy4carrots Member Posts: 5,324
    edited June 2011

    July asks:

    Why don't the people who have a lot in common go start their own online groups? 

    Well, a couple of reasons:  1.  It's kind of boring hearing the same opinions as one's own always expressed.  Might as well stay off-line altogether!

    2.  This site offers the opportunity to meet new people.  For instance, Blue's thread has invited lots of new people to visit, and I love the opportunity to meet them that way.

    Oh, and 3.  I truly resent the suggestion that some of us here should just leave and start our own on-line group.  We participate in several other threads, offer advice from our personal experiences, and seek advice from others when necessary.

    And 4:  If any "hate" has spread to other forums, it hasn't been by me. 

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  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited June 2011

    Interesting random thoughts to this many-fangled discussion.

    I can imagine that I have more posts reported than I could easily count but, to know for sure, I would have to go into the e-mail account that I have created for BCO and a few other purposes. This account is not my main personal one and certainly not my work one. This brings up the issue of privacy and security that Coolbreeze's excellent posts touch on.

    The privacy for me, personally, works both ways. I have a history of breast cancer, but very few people in my "real" life know this. I also have a major comorbidity that far fewer people know about. The experience of breast cancer affected the course of that other disorder and I needed a place where I could sort of breathe more easily and discuss it all without giving myself away in the non virtual world.

    You wouldn't catch me dead posting my real name or picture here while I divulge such sensitive information. If all of you had any idea how long it took me to even include my city of residence in my profile, you would laugh. To call me a privacy freak would be an understatement. I do not participate in social networking sites, my phone number is unlisted, and while I would have no trouble putting my life in danger for the right cause, my privacy and cybersecurity to me is paramount for a variety of reasons.

    So besides my city of residence, I would never give away anything like a profession, place of birth or other identifying information. Sadly, there have been cases of women on this forum who were harassed by people on this forum who had learned enough information about them to go after them in real life. That is tragic and it serves as a cautionary note.

    We have seen some good ideas about moderation posted here this weekend. We saw similar good ideas posted months ago on the "Cyberbullies''' fund raising thread I created. My optimism that those ideas will be put to serious use is zero at this moment.

    If rules in BCO are violated to boot me out, I will not stand for it. Creating a new account, loathsome as it is, did not violate the rules, but forbidding multple accounts will only work if a) it is enforceable and b) well meaning people don't need to do it because they have been illicitly deleted. I will not tolerate abuse or harassment of me and will do what I can to help protect others. At the same time, I refuse to be a patsy and stay out because of an illegal ban. I also will not break the rules. Those are the maxims I go on.

    I do not like the law of the jungle. The way to go is through suggestions, peaceful appeals and hard work. And raising funds. We have done all of that but to no avail. And so it is that this conversation will likely continue as it has through the years, but at this time it feels to me like just a discussion between us. I don't expect anything to come out of it. Yet another member was booted off the system today. I didn't see any rule broken by her. When will these abusers be punished? I put the question to the Gods at this point.

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited June 2011

    Ah geez .. I just glossed over the 'hate' comment.  Talk about stirring the pot. 

    Bren

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  • suzieq60
    suzieq60 Member Posts: 6,059
    edited June 2011

    Just sent a PM to the moderators giving them an earful and telling them who the ring leaders are.

    Sue

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  • Wabbit
    Wabbit Member Posts: 1,592
    edited June 2011

    Some dust-ups are inevitable ... but the anger comes from seeing the same problems with the anonymous post reporting for years. 

    I suppose the old "if you don't like it just leave" is one solution ... many women have done just that.  Sadly.

    So if somebody is just bound and determined to harass you with post reports you should just leave?   Beesie and otter for example are great resources for this board ... should they just take their knowledge and go somewhere else because somebody has decided they don't like them?   Then who will be the next victim? 

    The fact that women do stay here is what makes this board active and vital enough to attract new members.  IMO 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2011

    <<Oh, and 3.  I truly resent the suggestion that some of us here should just leave and start our own on-line group. >>

    Lindasa,

    You resent a suggestion I never made? I'm relatively inexperienced here and was asking a sincere question, not making any suggestion. Reread. Your hostile response may be one of the reasons you have experienced problems that contributed to the reporting frenzy.

    To the others who answered my good faith question in actual good faith, thank you for answering how much of a social bonding hub you have built. I'll try to remember the time you generously took to explain it to me and I'll try to forget the offense taken so easily by Lindasa for my curiosity.

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  • suzieq60
    suzieq60 Member Posts: 6,059
    edited June 2011

    Blue's Ban reversed - moderators just replied to me!!!!

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  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited June 2011

    Yey!

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  • rosemary-b
    rosemary-b Member Posts: 2,006
    edited June 2011

    Thank you moderators You do a job I could never handle

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited June 2011

    Yay!  Thank you mods!!

    Bren

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2011

    I'm on page three and am absolutely disgusted.  Why are you bring Elizabeth into this madness.  Elizabeth was a sweet soul and was loved by many people.  We may have disagreed, but she was one fantastic woman.  Leave her out of your childishness.

    Several days I was reading DO NOT DO CHEMO or whatever that thread was called.  Yes, it did seem like the lady was being bullied....and even stalked.  She went on another thread on the alternative forum and some of the same people showed up. 

    Let me clue you in.  Many years ago a woman on the alternative thread was doing some kind of alternative treatment.  She had not even had her tumor removed.  Some people jumped on her.  Sherri and I didn't.  We talked to her kindly.  She knew she could exchange posts with us.  The lady was not doing well according to her discription of her tumor.  Sherri and I missed seeing her post so we let her know we were concerne.  I do not know whatever happened to her, but we certainly were not going to be mean to a sick woman.

    The lady some have gone after and accused her of having different names, says she suffers from depression.  Please stop it!  There is absolutely nothing wrong with stating your opinion about conventional therapy BUT in a nice way.  You think you'll win this woman over by being cruel?  Also, newbies will read your "kind" replies and I am sure they would much rather do conventional therapy than play with fire.

    I'm done reading for now.  Carry on.....as usual. 

    nurse-ann, I don't believe you know the history with some of the women.  It's the same ole same ole going on.   

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2011

    Shirley:

    Oh, I do know.  The patterns are clear when you sit back and watch. If you notice, I don't get drawn in and "play the game".

    Good Luck to you.

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  • Wabbit
    Wabbit Member Posts: 1,592
    edited June 2011

    The person who sent that PM telling a new member that people who were talking about food were really insulting her did not have her best interests in mind.  It was cruel ... especially if she believed it.  I still haven't figured out if she posted it all over the board because she believed it or just to show us what was going on behind the scenes. 

    While the mods are at looking at the mess they need to be checking out the behind the scenes agitation going on in PMs.

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  • Wabbit
    Wabbit Member Posts: 1,592
    edited June 2011

    July ... a good example of how things can be misinterpreted.  I too read your comment as why don't you all just go away and make a group somewhere else.  You may not have liked Linda's response to your post ... but she did not hit the report button on it.  She told you how she felt about it ... and that gave you an opportunity to say that was not what you meant.  How would you feel if she had just anonymously reported it and tried to get it deleted instead? 

    The only reason Elizabeth's name has been mentioned is as proof positive that nobody is safe from being targeted ... no matter how nice or respected they are.  And Elizabeth was very upset by being suspended and some of us cannot forget that.   

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2011

    summertyme:

    Is that you Blue? What is a sock puppet?

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  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited June 2011

    Excellent post, White Rabbit.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2011

    Summertyme:

    Well, if I hadn't read the other thread I wouldn't have known.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2011

    As Dr. Phil would say to the angry ones, "how's this workin' out for you?

    May you have all the peace you can find.

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  • Wabbit
    Wabbit Member Posts: 1,592
    edited June 2011

    Shirley ... if that woman you are talking about had a name something like CountryLady (?) she did come back to the board ... once ... to report that her tumor had broken through the skin and spread and that she was now pursuing conventional treatment but thought it was too late for her.  She was warning others at that point.  It was the saddest thing I've ever read.

    So ... yes people do get forceful when somebody is telling everybody to not do chemo - that it will kill them and that it never works, etc.  This is life and death. 

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  • Alpal
    Alpal Member Posts: 1,785
    edited June 2011

    Dr. Phil also says,  "This ain't my first rodeo". As you may know, this is just a rerun. Getting sort of old, don't you think?

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2011

    Jeez, all I want to know is what is a sock puppet!  I think that is out of Dr. Phil's league.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2011

    Wow!  I'm stage IV. Does that count?

    I/we adored Elizabeth.  I wouldn't stoop low enough to use her like you are doing.  None of us reported her.  And we (you know why I'm saying "we") were very happy when she could come back.  

    I* see you are trying to pin the deletions on some women who you don't like.  Well, let me tell you....IT'S NOT US!  There are some very intelligent women on this board that are seeing just what's happening.

    MODS, please delete this craziness.  I rarely post here anymore because...............well, do I need to explain? 

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  • Alpal
    Alpal Member Posts: 1,785
    edited June 2011

    Shirley - When the names were made public for that short while, did you recognize any of them?

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2011

    What the heck is a sock puppet?

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  • Alpal
    Alpal Member Posts: 1,785
    edited June 2011

    Google it.

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  • Wabbit
    Wabbit Member Posts: 1,592
    edited June 2011

    Shirley ... that's what you said before and when the names showed up ...

    Full disclosure - it was not Shirley's name that showed up but it was definitely her 'us'.   And I don't pretend to know for sure who is doing it now but from past history you have to understand that we are bound to be suspicious. 

    And putting a stop to the suspicions and the finger pointing and all that is the absolute best reason to do away with that damn button.  Maybe we can at least agree on that? 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2011

    Summertyme & Alpal:

    But don't you see, that's why I'm asking about sock puppets.  You guys have been railing against them and people with multiple ID's. Are they the same thing?  Are we railing against something and turning around and doing it ourselves.  This could be something for Doctor Phil after all!

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