Marriage falling apart

I think every marriage/relationship has its individual expectations and levels of together and apartness.  It's when one partner acts contrary to the usual expectations, but doesn't acknowledge it then problems can occur.  Drinks with colleagues after work during happy hour are not a problem for most people these day I don't htink.  But if you normally socialize with your husband and he suddenly starts socializing with a mixed group of colleagues regularly, late into the night or at weekend parties that can be a problem.  Not because he is going to have an affair, but because he is excluding you.  Or if he knows you are feeling vulnerable, then you expect him to be sensitive to your feelings.  It's really about him understanding and respecting your feelings, and vice versa.  Also, if you know that he would be upset if you were acting like he was, then you have a right to call him on it.  It's all about quid pro quo.

 Anyway, wenweb, I think you and your husband handled the situation perfectly by sending out the message that you are a couple.

LittleMelons You are spot on.  There are times that it can seem as if you don't exist.  I have no difficulties whatsoever with work associated gatherings that involve women, nor I do not think or expect that my husband will have another affair.  Thank-you for your understanding of my situation.

voracious Thank-you as well.  I did not think you were brusque at all, but I know that you have never walked in my shoes.  Thanks for sharing your story...it was lol!!  And, I agree with you about men...can't live with them...can't live without them...  I'm sure they would say the same about us!!