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wlegeret
wlegeret Member Posts: 1
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

Hello.  My name is Wendy.  My mother was just diagnosed with grade two DCIS today.  She went in for a breast exam last Tuesday, a lump was found, and she had a mammogram and ultrasound the same day.  She was scheduled for a biopsy on Thursday and today she got the results back.  We are all in shock but my mind cannot help but think the worst.  I know that the treatment for breast cancer has improved significantly over the years but I can't help it.

 I would really like to talk with anyone who has had either DCIS or family members.  I got so upset today that I started crying so hard that I couldn't breathe.  My father immediately became upset telling me that my mother needed support and that she would think the worst of her cancer.

I can't help it though.  I am so scared for her.

What should I do or say for my mom?  I feel silly asking that, but I dont' know what to do.

Thank you.

Wendy

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  • sandiessoldier4
    sandiessoldier4 Member Posts: 27
    edited April 2011

    Wendy,

    That is not a silly question at all! We all feel helpless when someone we love goes through this. And you do need to find a safe place to have your meltdowns as you will have them. I remember the day vividly when my dad called and told me my mom had breast cancer. It felt like my world had been turned upside down and nothing felt normal. The way I initially handled it was to attend as many of her doctor's appointments as I could so I could at least try to understand what was happening and ask any questions if I had them. I live 2 hours from my parents but it also helped me to come in for as many chemo treatments as I could. The only thing we can really do for our loved ones is be there for them. I had to figure out what helped my mom and what didn't over time. Everyone is different and reacts differently. Many times I would beat myself up for thinking I said or did the wrong thing but we do the best we can. I went to therapy and continue to go. It helps a lot. It is my safe place. I would always tell my mom that even though I didn't have the answers or any magical words to make it all go away, I was certain there was hope and I was also certain about how much I loved her and would stick by her every step of the way. Maybe start with that!

    Good luck and don't hesitate to PM me if you need to talk!

    Lots of prayers!

    Courtney 

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  • madknitress
    madknitress Member Posts: 3
    edited May 2011

    My mom was just diagnosed...I'm still in the crying, coupled with disbelief stage.  I think our moms just need us to be there with them.  We can nurture their spirits so in turn they can fight this crap.  I'm going to spend the weekend with my mom.  We are going to make soap and bake a cake (it's our birthday weekend too).  With all of the anxiety and sadness I'm feeling, this seems just what we both need!

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  • Jelson
    Jelson Member Posts: 1,535
    edited May 2011

    Wendy - BCO has straight info besides the discussion boards. here is where you can find info on DCIS:  http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/types/dcis/

    there is discussion board here on the BCO discussion boards, specific to DCIS. BEESIE's comments are very thorough and easy to understand. Here is a thread on different kinds of surgery for DCIS which includes her comments http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/68/topic/766252

    DCIS is ductal cancer in situ - out of five stages, it is stage 0. There is even controversy whether it should be called cancer, but most women on these boards would call it cancer or pre-cancer. When I was diagnosed with DCIS through a needle/core biopsy, waiting for a lumpectomy, I hoped that the diagnosis would remain DCIS - because that would mean no chemo is required and that the prognosis would be very good. The usual treatment is lumpectomy or mastectomy and then radiation. And radiation to the breast does not cause your hair to fall out - I mention this because that was news to me!

    I think madknitress (did you knit the hat you are wearing in your photo?) has the right idea. Be there for your mom. It can be doing normal things with her or going to her appts with her - if you do that - offer to take notes. 

    Julie E

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