browniefranks, and MizChiz and all,

I had a friend trying desperately to glue false eyelashes on me.  "But you will look so pretty!" she said.  I don't care about that, I said, I am alive.  "Yeah, but you could look so pretty!"

Some people don't get it if an anvil is dropped on their head.  I was okay living without hair of any kind, and handling a harsh treatment regimen because I wanted above all else to live.  I just loved those pretied headscarves because I didn't want to waste energy getting ready for the Academy Awards every day, and I went to work most every day.  To say that I should really want eyelashes pasted on my face just to look presentable was unkind.  What it said to me was that I was ugly.  Too ugly to be seen as I was.  Especially with her.

I had to tape my nails down so they did not drop off.  Most anyone will tell you that the eyebrows and lashes leave last and come back too, but slowly.

No reason not to do chemotherapy that is necessary.  Just know not everyone will be kind to you.  Most will.  And those who won't can take a hike.  Treatment is not a fashion show.  

Candice, the reason for the gel overlays on my fingernails is because mine are thin and brittle,too. It actually didn't hurt when I lost my toenail. You can't really tell the nails are loosening unless you fiddle with them. My fingernails and toenails are hanging on and seem to be grown out enough to stabilize them so they won't fall off. My hair... I had FINALLY grown my hair to shoulder length after 20 years of short haircuts. I was thrilled! Then I was diagnosed. Oh well... But I know how you feel as do most of us. Don't jump the gun though and have it all cut off before you know it's coming out for sure, OK? My friend has long hair, had chemo for breast cancer, and hers only came out in spots and she was able to cover it. So, maybe you'll get lucky like her! We can only hope, right? Also, ask about those cold-caps to help prevent hair loss.

YellowDogLady... Wow... Talk about an insensitive friend! When a male friend of mine saw my hair, when I stopped wearing my wig, he told me it didn't matter because I have a pretty face and that I don't need make-up either. I would beg to differ, but it made me feel good that he saw beyond the hair and makeup that he was accustomed to seeing me wear! Some people just don't get it... And it's worse when you're feeling lousy from chemo and you look in the mirror and see a stranger... Here's a song for you, and me, and everyone else who has been affected by breast cancer!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAfyFTzZDMM

I don't want to speak ill of a fine offer, but it was not once.  It was pretty much required if I wanted to go out with this friend, so I didn't.  I caught a clear indication that not having enough hair or eyebrows or lashes made me look too butch or just plain ugly to be seen with her.  At the time, I didn't care about what other people saw or thought.  I was alive, and that was glorious.

Oh... sorry... thought it was a one time, "maybe you should try this..." You are right that it isn't right for someone to behave like that... I can't imagine anyone caring about how I look, and not wanting to be seen with me... that would be hurtful... agreed.

all of my hair fell out two wks into my first lot of chemo, (saved a fortune on the following;waxing,razors,shampoo and hair products) my hair was falling out in clumps so i let my eight yr old daugther cut it all off (with the supervision of my friend) in my opinion false eyelashes are more trouble than they are worth, and they do tend to look a bit mad if youve got no eyebrows.

my hair started to grow bk when i was into my last cycle of chemo,its now been 5 months and my hair is about 5 inches long,have you heard about the hair in recovery programme run by racoon hair extensions,you can get the cost of extensions susidised after treatment,im getting mine done in a couple of weeks,im not a particularly vain or girly girl,but ill be the first to admit that losing my hair was the worst part of my treatment(i got sick of bieng called sir,lol)

good luck xx

38 years old,

My headscarves were all colors.  Some batik, some wild prints, some tame.  My favorite was a burgundy and brown and gold batik that was just stunning.  They are on their way to Australia as we speak to assist the daughter in law of a high school friend who was in the US on the exchange student program back then, and I am proud to send such lucky colorful things to help a next generation survivor.  

Hi Im Vicki!! Im done w chemo since feb 7th!! Ilost all hair. Especially at the end. I had 4 doses of chemo n lost my hair 2 weeks after .I lpst all the hair including eyelashes n eyebrows also. Mine is growing back fast, but hairs coming thick n slow!!! You will get through this fine

She was a stepcousin or I never would have considered taking her along.  She begged, and begged, and I had known her for decades, so we caved and told her she could come but must please bring a friend.  She refused that, and set herself up for a bad time, which was her right, but not to make our hard-earned good time bad too. 

Then she told me after we let her book onto our trip that we had been invited to the big Christmas thing with that side of the family and she had said no, we should not be included.  And some other backstabbing thing I don't remember.  This AFTER booking onto our vacation and all so we would have to put up for two weeks with a person who just decided to tell us months later that she hurt us monhs ago and felt compelled to tell us because we let her come along on our vacation as a favor.  It only got worse from there.  Who goes to confession to admit they are a shit when they have just begged their way onto a trip with a person they have told others should be excised from the family because her Dad died?  She was clear.  My Dad dying meant that none of my stepmom's family was mine anymore.  Then why the hell was she thinking to come along on my trip?  She was my Stepmom's cousin.  The answer was clear later; to torment me and hustle after my intended.

She came back from the trip and said she wasn't treated right by me after I invited her along and made so many promises; and I lost my stepmom of decades because she was convinced by that charade.  Why don't people who want only to hurt others get a tatoo at birth?  I had known this woman for decades and never suspected how insane she could be.  She was nuts for 14 days and I never said a word because I figured she would be embarrassed for misbehaving so largely.

But because I won't speak ill of people, she had loads of fun saying I had no right going on my victory trip because I was not well enough, and on and on.  I made her trip hard.  Spent too much time in my cabin resting instead of going to Happy Hour.  Didn't do enough for her.  Made her cry because she was (endlessly drunk and) SO LONELY!  Wasn't I the bad hostess who never agreed to be a hostess?  

Of course she never remembered that conversation with both of us eight months earlier when we said she was welcome if she brought a friend so she would not be lonely.

Some of these things should properly go on a new thread entitled People Who Behave Badly During Treatment and Recovery.  I imagine there are so many it would be an instant hit. 

front pubic was one of the last to go.  eyelashes & brows were the last to go. the later 2 were the hardest for me.  they were my last bit of dignity.   NJ

mrsnjband,

I think no one likes to tell a patient that they will lose things like nose hair and pubic hair, but it happens.  Your eyes get weepy and your nose runs with no warning.  Late in the game the eyebrows and eyelashes may fall.  They tend to be the last to go.  But if you have a good support network and your family and friends are knowledgeble about the time line, they will not be shocked.  Just so happy to see you.