Am I a Bad Person?

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  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited May 2011

    Thanks Hymil---totally agree.

    Sharon

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  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited May 2011

    I wouldn't call you lucky, but maybe fortunate JB.  From what I've learned since all this started is that there is still no clear cut way of knowing (yet) if DCIS will turn into something more insidious.  Getting ANY cancer dx sucks, that's for sure!

    Sharon

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  • CandDsMom
    CandDsMom Member Posts: 387
    edited May 2011

    Hi, I hope I am not intruding in the stage 3 forum?

    Anyway, just wanted to say that I am glad you and your friend have been able to understand the situation from each other's standpoints pupfoster.

    I don't think you are a bad person at all. I think as some of the other posters mentioned, it is just one of those things about how we all react to news a bit differently as emotions are high with any cancer diagnosis.  For some people they really want to hear that it isn't a big deal, and others feel like that is minimizing what they have been through and I think it would be hard to predict ahead of time which side of the fence someone would land on with how they would view it.

    Anyway, BC sucks - it can ride under the radar and not even be seen on mammo, so I think it is not so much that one person is more vigilant than another.  The word "luck" in this situation is a loaded word I think in some ways when comparing diagnoses (although I certainly do not want to compare what I have been through compared to my BC sisters who have had to undergo chemo and/or radiation - your strength, even when maybe you don't feel like being strong, is absolutely amazing and inspiring).  I guess I feel like BC is just one of those things that happens.  No one deserves it, no one would wish it on their worst enemy.  Sometimes related to genetics, but the more I read BCO it seems more commonly just strikes out of the blue.  There are certainly stories aplenty on these boards of women with negative mammos and then a BC diagnosis, or a lump appearing out of no where.  I think the stage at which it is caught can be a roll of the dice in some cases, as we have seen at BCO time and again.  That this beast is the worst is I think something we can all all probably agree on!

    Anyways, I hope I am not being presumptuous in posting (I usually try to stay in the DCIS or breast recon threads), but the thread caught my eye.  Really though, I just wanted to wish you and everyone here in the stage 3 forum well. (((hugs))) 

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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited May 2011

    Well said, CanDsMom :)  I actually have DCIS to thank for my diagnosis.  My mammogram didn't see my 8.5cm tumor...but it saw lots of DCIS and my radiologist was concerned.  Sometimes regular mammos and vigalance fail (meaning, sometimes these tests fail us).

    Sharon, I'm glad you got things straightened out with your friend.

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  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited May 2011

    CanDsMom,

    I appreciate your thoughts and of course you are not intruding here.  We are all going through this crappy disease one way or another, so unfortunately we all belong to the same club.

    For me CanD (and I repeat, just for ME)  I don't think going through the chemo and radiation was a strong thing, it just was what I HAD to do to stay alive.  I really didn't have a choice.  I sometimes find it hard to accept that compliment even though it WAS hard, TERRIBLY hard and awful.  But I think what helped me get through it was that I knew it was just temporary.  Although I've had a lot of aches and pains since then, nothing compares to all the lousy side effects from chemo.  But it is what it is right?  And we do what we need to do.

    Thanks again for your kind thoughts.

    (((Hugs back to you!))),

    Sharon

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  • vivirasselena
    vivirasselena Member Posts: 278
    edited May 2011

    Sharon,

    your intent was to help....and when your intent is pure, and you extend an apology you're good to go.

    We can't control how people react..that's their's to own, and we all know, not a single one of us is the same post dx and pre dx.  So give yourself a big fat break...Smile

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  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited May 2011

    You are sweet vivi, thanks.....

    Sharon

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  • poptart
    poptart Member Posts: 101
    edited May 2011

    From what I've learned since all this started, both times, it is not a matter of "if" DCIS becomes invasive, it is a matter of "when."  The more aggressive the grade, the faster the invasive process.

    I looked into dcis a lot as well since when I had a prophylactic mastectomy, my good breast had dcis scattered throughout, including high grade dcis.  Nothing I ever read said dcis is destined to become invasive.  Everything I have read said in most cases it does not become invasive.  That most doesn't becoem invasive doesn't mean it doesn't need to be treated aggressively, since which cancers become invasive is unpredictable. 

    I would also argue that all cancer cells are not "created equal."  I had high grade invasive triple negative breast cancer in one breast.  This is not the same as high grade hormone positive dcis.  As far as I know, even a low grade invasive cancer is more of a threat than high grade dcis, since dcis by definition cannot metasticize.  Nobody is trying to dismiss that dcis needs to be treated, but that doesn't mean it is the same thing as an invasive cancer.  On a purely factual basis, dcis and idc are two different things.  Just like hormone positive bc is not the same thing as hormone negative.  I thought some of the great progress in treating bc was the ability to classify cancers more specifically, rather than just saying all cancer is the same.

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  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited May 2011

    Poptart,

    You said basically what I had heard (forget who you quoted, but I have never heard the "when" part either---although I believe that person certainly got that info from someone credible).  There are differing thoughts on it and I believe it's possible we were all told something different.

    It's crazy all the different variations of breast cancer there are.  I wonder if all cancers are so complex like ours.

    Sharon

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