THEY HAVE NO IDEA!!

Ladies your so right.........It reminds me of times when I was younger, and I had 6 children, and they were all close (my fault), and I would be with a group of women, or even just one woman, and I would hear someone with just 1, or 2, possibly more kids complaining about how it was so tough, and she could get nothing done, or had so much wash, or had to cook for so many..........I would say.................Hey, when you have more then 6, I will feel sorry for you, until then, your complaints fall on deaf ears...................Of course that always got a laugh, but little did they know I was not kidding...................I feel the same way about people who want to talk about their bad headache, or the cold they have, or the sinus infection...............I k'now those things hurt, but honey they are going away.................Walk in my shoes and then tell me how bad you feel about what is wrong with you ..........Maybe we are wrong, but there are those times when you just think.............stop whining, and get on with your life...................I am................Hugs.

Cyborg...................I too live alone, my husband died very young, and I never remarried..I do have 6 children, but you can't expect them to always be the ones responsible for "lifting you up", so I know what you mean about crying alone.......I did much of that too.........

Know you may be crying, alone, in reality, but actually you have a unbelievable source of comfort right on this website..........I don't know what I would have done without these ladies.....They have been my rock, backbone, spirit, friend, when I needed one............They are here, and they listen, and they help...............Even if they can't solve your problem, they will give you a huge hug, which will make you feel loved.............Never cry alone.....................Hugs to you.

Impressive Merilee, very well said!

(((Cyborg)))

Cyborg

You are not alone.  Many of us are still crying.  It's a mourning of our lost selves.   I have heard You're not the same person.  CORRECT!  I will never be the same.  However, I have gained courage, fearlessness, because nothing minimal even makes me flinch anymore.  There's a lot that I love about my new self   Please know that we are here for you.  This new you can be wonderful.

((((hugs))))   Janice 

Cyborg, I totally feel you. I'm 34 single, o kids and I do feel alone. Although I have great family and friends around me they cannot understand what it is to go through this. From the time I got diagnosed to everyday. I got alot of 'it couldn't get any worse' and it seems to get worse. At least you can cry, and let it out. I have issues, its very hard for me to cry. My brain is so cluttered with decisions and information that I can't. I've been reading posts on this site for the past 5 hours and we are definetly not alone. Hugs!

 The world can be so insensitive. Take care of yourself.

My 6 month appointment with the onc is coming up in a week or so -- it's been two and a half years since treatment ended, though I will continue to take Femara for another 3 and a half years.  Every time I see the oncologist I get SO anxious, but so far, so good.  Since my dx I lost a breast and 11 lymph nodes, had 6 surgeries, developed mild lymphedema, had 2 implants removed due to capsular contracture (am wearing a prosthesis now), retired early because of health problems and fatigue, developed painful osteoarthritis in most joints and was recently dx'd with hearing loss (will be getting hearing aids).  I'm definitely not the same as before, but this experience has made me aware that I'm tough as an old boot -- we need to be, right?

Ladies....I haven't posted here in months but often read your messages. I sympathize, empathize and understand. On the 22nd of June, exactly 1 yr since I began chemo, I will have what I hope to be my last IV treatment. It has been over a year since dx and surgery so most everyone thinks the bc ordeal is behind me. They have no idea how this haunts you and how it has changed me inside and out. Am trying hard to focus on the good stuff, kick energy vampires to the curb, and get back in shape. I have reluctantly accepted that I am mortal and have come to the notion that I must make the best of what I have to work with!  I hate cancer and all that it brings with it. Except for bc.org and all of you. Hugs.  Bon

Well, take my word for it, everybody around me knows all about breast cancer.  My constant whining keeps it in the forefront.  If my joints are aching, they are going to know about it.  If my lymphadema is acting up, they are going to hear about it.  If all the medicine for side affects gives me constipation, you got it, i'll discuss it at length. 

I can get away with this because 1) I'm the boss and 2) except for one lady, only family works at my office.   Of course, I have noticed people saying more and more that I should stay at home and take care of myself.  Mummm, could they possibly be tired of hearing my complaints for almost 4 years?   Frankly, I don't care.  I'm a single woman and i've got to complain to somebody.  Pookie the cat doesn't appear to care.  Everyday it is something else to treat.  I have no intention of keeping it to myself.  I will admit that family listens and have been great.

If nothing else, I guarantee that everybody gets the mamograms on time now!

You are right. Of course I had no idea either. I still remember telling someone I was having chemo and radiation and she said,  "oh, I thought they were the same thing." or saying to someone when her sister was diagnosed that now it was part of her family history and she had to mention it to her doctors and she asked, "even without the gene?" And, right, some people's expressions of care or concern (or lack thereof) were disappointing. But really no one could say the right thing to me then - either they minimized it or wrote me off as a goner.