Any ideas to fight the depression & being grouchy
I have been feeling so grouchy and depressed for the past week. I had been doing pretty well, so I'm not sure what threw me 'over the edge'. It's not bad enough that you have to fight this disease, but you also have to fight your emotions and thoughts. I am through my chemo - that alone should make me feel happy. I am almost half way through my radiation ... but still I can't seem to even smile anymore. I am achy - hurting really ( they have done blood tests, and think it's residual from the Taxol that ended 5 weeks ago ... or perhaps some symptoms from being in chemically caused menopause ), have swollen hands and feet, it's hard to sleep, I'm nauseous ( although the techs say it can't possibly be from the radiation ), I barely have an appetite, no ambition, no sex drive, etc. I'm tired of being in pain - especially since they don't know when/if it will end. The percocet helps, but the pain is still there and wakes me up at night.
I have a wonderful husband who goes to each and every treatment with me .. and still I'm a grouch. I am going to ask the councelor at the cancer center for a referral to a therapist that is familiar with cancer. In the meantime, I am hoping you all may have a few words of wisdom - or something that can help me break this cycle. I am already on Prozac to help combat pain from 2 lumbar fusion surgeries that I had 7 years ago. I'm just so tired of it all ..........
hugs to all of you -
SueComments
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Sue- This is one of those things I didn't see posted a lot so it was a big surprise when I went into a big depression AFTER I finished treatment. I think we're too busy during it to process all the emotions that come with BC. Much more than any other kind of cancer I think. But now, from everything I've read and finally finding the right threads, I've come to realize that it is very common. Almost every single women will deal with some depression and emotional issues months and even years after treatment. The sad thing is no one ever seems to be warned this might happen by any of their doctors. There is a great thread I post on where we all seem to be going through the same thing, trying to move past the sadness and figure out who the heck we are now. Come over and post anytime. The name of the thread is "Great saying about depression". We do a lot of chit chat but also try to help anyone who needs it. (((hugs)))
http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/102/topic/759882?page=33#idx_989
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catlover, all I can tell you is that healing both physically & emotionally from what we've been through is a process. It doesn't happen overnight or when our tx ends, and it's unfortunate that few of us are told this up front. The social worker where I had my rads kind of hinted at it for me, and then I saw a flyer about a weekend workshop on recovering from tx. I didn't go to it because I was still in tx, but at least it planted the idea in my mind that there was a lot more to the battle -- enough to fill a weekend agenda -- than just getting through tx.
But it absolutely does get better as you move further away from tx. It will still take awhile, but trust me -- there absolutely will be a day when bc and the residual SEs of tx don't constantly occupy your thoughts. In retrospect, mine has come in several steps, starting with finishing up your tx. Then, give your body time to heal and rebuild. Eat well. Get plenty of exercise and rest. Be patient with yourself and your still-fragile emotions. And let time and nature work its magic. You'll be surprised at how much stronger and happier you'll be a year from now. (((Hugs))) Deanna
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Thank you both for your replies !! I have an appointment with the social worker at the Cancer Center on Tuesday. In the meantime, I'm taking your advice and taking one day at a time. I know I 'think' too much so I'm also trying to shut off my brain :-) .
BTW, I love both of your quotes.
(( hugs )), sue
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Your social worker sounds like a great idea. They are generally supportive and have good insight to share.
If you decide to change your meds, please be sure to talk to your GP first. I am not sure it is a good idea to stop medications when you are feeling depressed.
There is a book called "Full Catastrophe Living" (sp?) by Jon Kabat-Zinn that might be helpful to you. It mirrors a course designed for people who live in pain and/or have serious illnesses. There are tapes you can order online to accompany the book also. It is based on Mindfullness or Mindfullness Meditation. Some hospitals teach it as a course to patients. I personally found it very helpful.
Be easy on yourself for the next while. When your body is ready to feel better, it will do so.
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