Do you think this is unusual? Dr. issue

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BioAdoptMom3
BioAdoptMom3 Member Posts: 198
edited June 2014 in Stage I Breast Cancer

DH and I saw my MO for the first time almost 2 weeks ago.  At that visit he encouraged me to have my pathology sent for an Oncotype, which we did.  We were told 10 to 14 calendar days by him and the lab.  So this past Friday I had an appt. with the RO.  We were expecting nothing but a consult, told that was the case, etc. so DH remained at work and my SIL went along.  When I got there the RO says from behind the desk, I have some news for you from Dr. F when I see you.  OK, fine.  He comes in (this is no more than 9 days after OT was sent to lab) and says Dr. F and I spoke today.  We have your OT score back and it's in the solid intermediate range so you'll be having chemo.  I was warned that an Inter. score would make chemo his recommendation since I am premenopausal and had a grade 3 tumor, but we were not expecting this news so early, nor from the RO, so this was a shock!  On one hand I am relieved to have the info even though its not what I wanted to hear, but DH is beside himself that the news was given by the RO and not the MO.  I am sure he is upset because he wanted to be there with me for this kind of news, but he is pretty angry about the way it was handled.  So, is this unusal or do they usually collaborate like this? 

Thanks!


Nancy

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2011

    Ehhh - I don't know why, but I don't think it's a big deal.  I really, really wanted my score so coerced the oncology nurse to give me the score over the phone a week before my appointment.  My score was 22 or 23, so I did chemo.

    My doctors worked as a team and I think may have done the same thing.

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  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited April 2011

    I don't think its a big deal either......Where I am from at a regional Cancer Center, the BS, R/O, and the M/O keep in constant touch.......In fact the other day the M/O was the one who told me I might not need Rads, so I think they give their opinion based on things they see, and conversations they have with their colleges.  Don't read into it, and don't let DH get you all worked up over it.  Your body..............................................

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  • Abbey11
    Abbey11 Member Posts: 335
    edited April 2011

    I think that they were probably trying to do you a favor and let you know the results as soon as possible.  They understand the stress of waiting for test results and probably wanted to help you mitigate it.  Having said that, they should give you a copy of the test results so that you have the ability to read them, think it over, and make the decision that is right for you.  Some women with intermediate scores do not have chemo, but I think it is usually recommended for anyone with a grade 3 cancer.

     I actually think that you're fortunate that your docs are communicating.  It will help with the coordination of your care.

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  • toomuch
    toomuch Member Posts: 901
    edited April 2011

    I understand your husbands reaction but I bet if he had been with you, he would have been happy that the reullts were in early. I got my oncotype results from the RO too, simply because they were back on the day that I had my consult. I also think that it's great that your doctors are communicating. Try to find the positive in it. I hope that you feel well as your treatment gets underway.

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  • BarbaraA
    BarbaraA Member Posts: 7,378
    edited April 2011

    My experience is the BS, RO and MO work as a team and they all collaborate and review all tests. Not unusual.

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  • mdg
    mdg Member Posts: 3,571
    edited April 2011

    I don't think it is a big deal.  I assume the reason he told you was because the waiting is agonizing and I think all the doc's get that.  I have had other docs tell me stuff.  I know it was unexpected for you, but now you have the news and you can move forward and do what you have to do.  I am sorry you have to do chemo but I want to let you know I am half way done with mine and am doing great.  I still workout every day and have minimal side effects.  I am doing cold caps for my hair so I still have a full head of hair too.  Chemo is not that bad for everyone..maybe you will be one of the lucky one's like me.  Best of luck! 

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  • pj12
    pj12 Member Posts: 25,402
    edited April 2011

    I am sure that what is the most upsetting is that your concerned husband feels that he let you down by not being with you when you got upsetting news. My breast cancer journey has been pretty basic and straight forward but I have learned that ANYTHING can happen at any appointment. A routine follow up post surgery can all of a sudden turn in to a big deal when the doctor thinks you have an infection. A PET scan you were really nervous about turns out to be a piece of cake. A follow up CAT scan that should have been routine can turn in to an afternoon of shoulder x-rays looking for bone mets that turn out to not be there. One time your follow up mammo is perfect, the next time it is suspicious, the next time it is perfect. I keep telling myself not to let it all upset me... easier said than done :)  My DH has given up predicting when he needs to be there for me and when I can be on my own. If he's not with me I am on the cell phone as soon as I walk out the door, sharing good or scary news. One time I walked in the house at 9:30 AM (after a difficult radiation appointment) and he had poured me a glass of wine!!! And I drank it :) !!!

    You are so lucky to have a supportive husband and he is so lucky to have you. Good luck and stay strong! 

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  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited April 2011

    Nancy, it sounds like maybe your DH's anger at not being able to protect you from getting bc (a very common experience with men) has found some release with this issue.  Yes, it's disappointing for both of you that he couldn't be there to support you getting this news, but I agree with the others that getting the info ASAP was the right choice for the doc, and anger over it seems like a bit of an overreaction, although totally understandable since we all hate the continuing bad news a bc dx often gives us. 

    Have you heard about the book, The Breast Cancer Husband, by Marc Silver?  It's a guy's guide to supporting a woman with bc, written using a lot of sports analogies, and highly recommended by psychologists who deal with bc.  It might be helpful to your DH, if he'd read it.

    No one ever wants to do chemo, but it's not as bad as you are probably imagining, and you will get through it  -- especially with the support here -- and it will give you additional peace of mind.   Deanna 

       

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  • poptart
    poptart Member Posts: 101
    edited April 2011

    I am with the others here.  Your RO is a physician who is part of your care/treatment team.  He had relevant information about your diagnosis and treatment.  It would have been odd had the doctor been speaking with you, had information that was important for you to know and then didn't tell you. 

    Good luck. 

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  • BioAdoptMom3
    BioAdoptMom3 Member Posts: 198
    edited April 2011

    The empathy all of you have shown me here is amazing!  I appreciate each and every one of you and all of your advice, support and suggstions!  I too am pretty sure he was upset because he wasn't there with me when I got the news.  However just as you all have shared, I feel much better having this news than I did being in limbo.

    Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!

    Nancy

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