March 2010 Chemo Start

Lisa - So what kind of a dr are you?

Michelle - what a beautiful tribute!  What a sweet son you have!  Funny how sometimes you don't even realize how they are affected until moments like those ...

Yes - You will get better fast.  My recovery on the exchange was much quicker than the MX so I know you will be feeling better in no time. My nerves are regenerating (as I'm sure yours are) so I am feeling weird sensations and am surprised that so much feeling has come back.  The dr. actually had to numb me up to do the tats.

I have had another first of sorts this week.  As you all know, my hair has not come back very well or very fast.  I still have a bald spoton the top of my head and I have still been wearing my wig.  Well, last weekend I bought some Topik (which is kind of a powder fill in) and I have started going wigless to work.  Some people are quite shocked .. others are very supportive ... and others are polite. It feels great to finally ditch the wig!

(((Hugs to you all)))

Charley

I'm doing great! Those pain pills (Norco's) are a gift from God! I can't wait to take these bandages off and see my doctor's "masterpiece" as he puts it. They come off tomorrow. But in the meantime, I did notice something...every time I move, my new breasts shift! It's true. I haven't felt that kind of movement in over a year. Oh it hurts like hell when they shift but it's a wonderful hurt. I've also decided that when these bandages come off I am going to take a photo of myself (face only--no porn) and post it here even though I have "poodle" hair. I no longer want to be faceless.

 Next adventure--tattoos. Stay tuned........

Badger, you are truly a beautiful friend. I was treated by friends and collegues, and it shocked and upset them as much as me. My anaesthetist was a friend/collegue, and he had tears in his eyes when he was checking me pre-op. I had other collegues tell me to "stop overthinking this Lisa". because of course I treated this like another thesis. My big trick now is the same as all of us, how to ignore the daily aches and pains, and moving ahead, still building up physical and emotional strength. I played tennis last week, and was puffing away because I ran all over the court, but, big thing, I could serve again.

I too think you are beautiful and brave Charley. and Yesh, looking forward to your photo, how exciting. I'm seeing PS on 13th, I think I'm deflating, so will need an extra fill before recon in June.

hugs to all. xx

Badger-  your reply to Lisa made me laugh all day!  Of course I had to ask my daughter what your abbreviation meant!  Great job on the long walk. 

Charley- Congrats on going "wig-less".  It's a great feeling isn't it?  I'm sure you look beautiful!! You are so right about our children and how they are affected.  I feel bad for my kids, they have seen too much in their young lives.  My Father-in law had diabetes and had his legs amputated, one at at time.  And now I've had my breasts amputated.  Oh well, hopefully it will make them stronger, compassionate people.   Charley- I have a question for you regarding your exchange.  Do the implants appear a little smaller than the TE due to the hardness and roundness of the TE?  I want to go a little bigger than I was, since I'm getting implants but my current TE may be a little big for me. 

Yes- Hope you are feeling better! 

Oh girls, woke up in the middle of the night drenched.  First time that has happened to me.  I had to switch my t-shirt (sexy I know, my poor husband) and wash my face.  You should have seen my hair this morning!

I can't seem to lose weight, I think I am having a harder time dealing with this whole thing than I realized.  I am definitely a stress eater or maybe a stuff your feelings eater.  So how do I stop?? Sorry to moan!

Hope everyone has a good day.  I am off to the gym.

Michelle

Regarding the weight thing, I gained 25 pounds from this whole cancer business. Talk about adding insult to injury. I figure it's the lack of exercise when I was weak plus all this hormonal (*@#$. Mostly the hormones. And I guess I'm in menopause now, so even more sluggish metabolism. UGH. It's also in my belly, I've never had belly weight before (plenty of T & A, but no belly) so that worries me for health reasons.

If anyone has tips I would love to hear them!

So, Dr Dr Lisa, you are an MD, so this would make you also PhD, right? And is it in medicine too?

I'm finishing a contract job in the next month and then I will try to start the thesis that got tossed out with the diagnosis.

Hugs to all

Toni

Hey all, went for a wonderful early morning walk today.  90 minutes including an hour in a small local park on the outskirts of town.  The migratory birds are coming through this week so the air is thick with sound.  Love to hear a bird sing nearby then hear an answer from farther away.  The feeling of life is everywhere.  In yoga it's called prana (life force) that we breathe in and send to where the body needs it.  Today I envisioned it going to the hellaciously tenacious layer of fat I've developed, melting it, and burning it for energy as I walked.  I'll let you know if it works LOL.  Still having flashes but not as frequently, and poodle hair is a RIOT in the morning.  Hope everyone is doing well.  {{hugs}}

LOL!  I have never in my life had a pot belly until now.  Thanks a lot tamoxifen... 

Tamoxibelly, I love it! Sorry you're leaking ;(

I'm feeling great! Exchange pain is just about gone. Mostly just hurts to sleep on my side and a few random shooting pains thru my new boobs a couple times a day. No big deal. But I am a bit disappointed...one of my new boobs is bigger than the other. I look totally lopsided. When I saw my PS a couple days ago he said I was really swollen from the surgery. He had to make a lot of repairs to the inside "pocket" and that breast was also radiated so he had to break up quite a bit of scar tissue. All of that equals major swelling. The other breast looks great! Of course it wasn't radiated or had cancer but still...I wish the other one looked as pretty. My PS said it could takes weeks for the swelling to go down. I'm trying not to be impatient.

Lisa- Sorry about the leak!  On the positive side, replacing and expanding the TE is much less painful than the first time. 

Yes-  glad you are feeling better.  Are your implants a little smaller than the TE?  I know one is still swollen, but how about the other one?  Trying to judge size for myself, I hate the way my arms hit them. 

Started weight watchers and gained weight!  Obvioulsy, I didn't stick to it!  {sigh}  

Yes - I totally agree with the expanders vs. implants.The expanders were just oddly shaped.  I feel like I am the perfect shape and size now and I fill out clothes so well!.  They don't sag and if I lose weight, they won't get smaller.  So there are a few "perks"! Although I have found that many days I do wear a bra as some blouses are just too sheer and I work in an office. 

hi gorgeous March girls, Badger you continue to inspire me. I have been a bit too couchish lately. It's Autumn here, and I have the fire going. The days are still beautiful when the sun is out, and the patch is thriving still. I'm finally finding the ability to multi task again. I've had 4 friends visit from interstate in the last week, a really intense 2 day course in professional development, and my usual study stuff, and I'm coping and enjoying the challenge. As much as I like Elvis, I wish my hair didn't look like his - but apart from the occasional whinge, the moments of the days are beautiful.

hugs to you all xxx

Kayne -- You're putting me on the spot!  I can't remember what size implants my PS put in. (I'm thinking that my TEs were about the size of yours) I am a 34C or 36B.  Bigger than before but considering I was an "a"! They are actually looking and feeling larger now.  I guess it is the "drop and fluff" they talk about.  They are a perfect size.  So even after the exchange, they will change some.

Way to go Badger!!! That is awesome you are walking all those miles.!.  I am running in a half marathon on May 1st.  I think I should add up the miles I've run. I know it's not 800 but dang!  Good for you!

Lisa - Spring has sprung in Oklahoma.  Windy but warm and t-storms today.  Hopefully no tornadoes.  We had some last week and several people down in southern Oklahoma were killed. I've lived here all my life and been close to so many tornadoes but I've never really seen one.  Hopefully I never will!

((Hugs))

Charley 

just home after a few days away - terrible news about the destruction and sad deaths in the south, my thoughts are with you.

Lisaxx

Yesterday I finished my first half marathon in OKC in 2:06!  The weather was terrible - steady, soaking rain, gusty winds, and cold temps (fell from low 50s to 40s).  It was the worst weather I have ever encountered on a run. I never warmed up and I was completely soaked from head to toe. (I was only wearing a short sleeve shirt, shorts and a light jacket-- definitely not enough clothing!) I was so glad to cross that finish line ... Now I realize that I am stronger than I thought!

Badger - awesome that you are fitting back into those jeans!!  I have some jeans I would like to fit back into as well!  Now that the training for this run is over, I am looking forward to getting back into the gym!.