Chemo starting in December 2010
Comments
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Your support (all of you!) has meant the world to me in the last 48 hours! I really thought I was going to lose it there for awhile. Three more chemos left!!! I can do this! My chemo nurses told me the same things you have all told me here. My RBC count was lowest, but just right within the safe range- 4.something. I'll miss my nurses too!
((((((Karebear)))))) Yay! You are done! I smile about your hair comments- I feel exactly the same way! I can get ready in record time! (Sometimes my showers slow up because the warm water feels so good on my achey back)
Oh, on a side note, I made the ghastly mistake of leaning into the oven heat with my wig on. I pulled away right away, thinking I might have done something to it but forgot. Well I put it on yesterday to go to the store instead of my usual scarf and I realized the bangs were kind of frizzy!!!! Just in a spot where the side part gets pushed to the side. LOL It isn't too unsightly bad...my daughter smoothed it and we laughed-she said she would smooth them again if they got too crazy! I definitely will order a new one (it was my TLC wig-a $100.00 one! :-( ) I don't wear it all the time, but I liked it on those days I didn't want to feel obvious. My sisters all said it looks very natural. I need a pretty one for my niece's wedding... so I will go from there. Has anyone else had special occasions to go to and been undecided about what to do? My hair is growing in, decidedly salt and pepper, but it is micro short. In some spots it is growing faster and looks a little wild!
Tomorrow my daughter has a non-conference softball game (springbreak here) and I will go no matter what. I will sit in the car down the first base line if it is too cold!
Big hugs to everyone!
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Karebear-So happy that you are done with chemo. Now you will have time to get your health and energy back before soldiering on thru the next ordeals that will lead to remission and a beautiful future.
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So question for you you that have finished chemo. Did you have an emotional meltdown?? I have been bawling all morning. Not sure why. Is it the end of chemo, the hormanal stuff from the lupron or what. The fear of surgery in 3 wks. I don't know. I just can't stop bawling and I have no one IRL to talk to. To top it off I have a slight rattle in my left lung and can't get into my lung dr until mid next week.
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Big hugs to you karebear. I have had several meltdowns when I get the crash from the steroid withdrawal. I finally asked for an antidepressent, and while I hated to add one more pill into the mix, it really helped. But I had been struggling for a couple of months without it.
I hope you feel better soon. I'm sure you will be relieved to have surgery behind you as well..... I found surgery recovery much easier to deal with than chemo.
Hang in there!
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karebear, I also had my last chemo yesterday. Although I got many texts and fb messages congratulating me and I was excited......I am not as excited as everyone else. I am having side effects that my doctor said will continue for a couple months....I know I the leg pain where I can barely walk will start tomorrow after I take my shot today.....
It seems like everyone thinks, Yay, You are done! and yes, I am happy I never have to go back and have chemo again.
But, I still don't feel like I am done with chemo since I still have to go through THIS one.
I don't mean to sound so negative, I guess I just wanted to let you know why I am also crying and not as excited as I might should be after completing my last chemo......
But, I am sure that we will both be feeling MUCH better SOON
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Hi everyone...
Karebear I think what you are experiencing is fairly normal for what we are going through. My cousin who went through chemo years ago said it was hardest when all that care you have been getting has come to an end. Yes, there is surgery ahead and Rads, but I think that comfort zone is once again getting shaken up. I can't speak for you, but I know some of the anxiety and down feeling is coming from that for me. Big Hugs...I would pour you a cup of your favorite warm drink..cocoa, tea, coffee...hey maybe you would prefer a chocolate milkshake!
Annette I agree with the how everyone thinks- Yay! You're done! and they seem to think everything will be hunky dory again.
I am sorting through feelings of will the side effects linger, will I have a recurrence....I try to be positive, but I do have these worries. I think while I have gone through chemo I have felt like I am doing something for my body about it.
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I am finding that our Wellness House for cancer support has programs that are really helping me. I met with a counselor there, and she recommended that I join an "On the Mend" program specifically geared to cancer patients completing treatment and all the complexities that come with that..... getting used to a "new normal". Not trying to preach at people, but I do think this strategy is working for me, connecting with others that are struggling with the same things.
The fact that there are specific programs out there to help us move into the non-treatment stage of being a BC patient should make us all feel that emotional challenges with making this transition are pretty common and normal for us. Not that that helps when you are in the throes of the emotional turmoil. Do what you can to help yourself feel better, and know that you can get help and support wherever it works for you!
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Hugs to all! And Grats to the graduates!!!! It has been 3 weeks and 2 days since my last chemo - this week I am finally feeling a little bit of my old self coming back. Altho, I got food poisoning at IHOP on wednesday and haven't been able to eat anything since. Trying some tea now and I will hit the store later and get some popsicles and gatorade- doc thinks its an intestinal virus. (he diagnosed it over the phone) I think he is wrong - sorry doc. It came on within 2-3 hours from eating at the restaurant.
I was so emotional during the whole chemo thing I can't remember when I cried and at what time. I have been pretty emotional about trying to go back to work however. I don't feel like I can do that job anymore. The rads dr said the other day - " Oh you can work thru rads" Uhhh not where I work! The schedule I work is 11 hour days fri, sat, sun, mon, 9am to 8pm - when am I gonna fit in rads? They mark it against your attendance if you take time off. And then when would I have days off to recuperate from the rads???? Work during rads? I think not thank you very much. Had to go get a lymph sleeve the other day for my arm. Don't have it yet, had to order it.
Hang in there girls - it does get better.
Love to all
Lisa
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Thnks Hope for responding. It is weird feeling like I worked out really hard and having the soreness last for a month.
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karebear,
YES! i had a meltdown after chemo. emotional and all. so did my husband. kind of went on a drinking thing for a few days, then it started getting better. about a week later. i feel like i'm starting to come out of the fog now, but absolutely, i did have a breakdown. i think it's normal, cause you are in fight mode all during chemo, then when it's done, i think everything hits like a mack truck. it all kind of hits hard and all at once what is going on with ourselves.
it's also hard to have sex, yes i said it. sex is often painful and that is something alot of us women have to navigate through and try try try until it gets a little better.
now that i had my meltdown and my drunken binge, i am off taking my walks, and today went shopping for good food for the body and taking my vitamins and my husband is feeling better also. it's starting to get better. a little each day.
congrats to all who have finished chemo!!!! chemo may be done, but this battle still isn't over!!!
many hugs!!--angel
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Angel- thanks for your honesty! Our sex life has suffered too! I really didn't want to let that happen, but my husband has been super understanding and supportive. The other day when I wrote I felt ugly I almost said it, but I was chicken.
Lisa, I have wanted to get over to the wellness house near me but I have felt so awful I haven't done anything. I think I will try to make more of an effort. That class sounds like it would be very good!
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Ladies you have no idea how much you all have helped me! It has been so emotional. Today is the start of the side effects. Not too bad so far. I have all the tingles, even in my toungue and it drives me crazy but at least the leg pains aren't too bad yet.
I may look into one of those support groups. Yesterday when I was bawling I just wanted to talk to someone that knew what I was going through.
Sex life?? What is that?? My poor hubby has been so good through all this but I feel bad that I have no interest. I hope that improves.
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karebear,
two days after the "twilight zone" week I was having from drinking and crying and etc, i finally went to a support group held at our cancer center. i have to say, it really helped me alot. i felt so much better after it. it really helped me get out emotionally what i was feeling and it was great cause of course, all the other women there has been through the same thing. i'm going to april's meeting too.
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post chemo party tonight!!
wooohooooo!! captain morgan and blueberry beer is in order tonight!!!!!
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okay, speaking of sex.. The doctor's were always really insistent that we use some form of birth control since you should never get pregnant during chemo. But now that we're in menopause (however temporary) have any of you stopped using it? I was just thinking last night the condoms seem pretty pointless if I'm having no periods and hotflashes...
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damn it. I'm crying over a stupid nail. Or I guess that's what triggered it. Maybe all my other stress is coming out.
The nail on my middle finger is falling off. The white part of the nail (that usually sticks up over the tip of your finger) is now half way down to the bottom. Some of the others are starting too.
I remember someone else mentioning super glue. I think I'm going to try it. Just squirt it between the nail and the skin? This is so gross. I was so hoping to make to the end of chemo without this happeneing. But with three more weeks, there is no hope now. Seems inevitable.
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Nolaa- I am going through the same thing! I only have three more treatments left too and my nails and toenails are really deteriorating! They are turning purple and my big toe is turning white too! :-( They hurt more than ever too, and my body aches are worse. Have you tried tea tree oil? I don't know if it really helps... but I thought maybe that is why my nails have held up pretty good so far? I got mine at the health food store.
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i kept my fingernails painted constantly during chemo, cause the nails were just peeling off. it seemed to work!
hope all are having a minimal to no SE day!!
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thanks for the suggestions. Maybe painting them is the way to go so I won't have to visually see how gross they look when they're about to fall off.
I guess I had just got my hopes up that my nails would make it through this and got really sad when I realized they wouldn't.
I just don't understand how my hair can be growing back but my nails keep getting worse.
Anyway, I had Taxol (10 of 12) this morning. Burger and fries for lunch. Off to bed to sleep before the kids come home.
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nolaa: sorry about your nails. That is one se I didn't get. Seems that my last taxol has reaked havoc on my asthma though. I am now on a nebulizer 2x a day. I hope it clears up before my surgery.
I also have to up my zoloft. All I have been doing is crying for the past 4 days. I don't do anything and just want to sleep. Guess this whole cancer thing is more than I could handle on the dose I am already on.
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okay, I lied, still checking emails instead of sleeping.
karebear76 - when is your surgery scheduled? I'm tentative for the third week in May. If you still have a few weeks I would think that your asthma should have time to recover.
And let's hope that higher dose of zoloft works since less crrying will also help the asthma get better (I know mine gets worse if I cry lots).
The great news is that your chemo is done and now you body has a break to heal! At least one step out of the way. Just a few more to go...
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my nails turned black underneath the nail, but never fell off. got sensitive and like i said would peel badly if i didn't have paint on them. but as long as paint stayed on them, they never had a problem! i did hear that tea tree oil helps too.
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Nolaa: My surgery is April 21st! Only 2 wks away. My dr called in a higher dose of zoloft and offered me xanax but I told her I have ativan and she said use that as I need it. Between those I am sure my asthma and crying will chill out!!
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I finished my last treatment of TAC March 29. now onto Radiation.
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jtbsmom-Way to go!!!! Congratulations on soldiering thru. All my best for a smooth passage through the rads.
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congrats jtbsmom!!!
we had some friends throw us a "post chemo party" it was alot of fun!
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Hello December sisters.
Haven't been around since long time but motherhood while fighting the cancer bastard has not been an easy road. Tho I need to confess wasn't as bad as I expected it could be... I need to scream out loud this: I'M DONE! I'M SOOOOOOO F¨*CKING DONE WITH CHEMO!!!
Yesterday was my 6th and last round of FEC. Funny how I was more anxious than the previous times, I had a melt down on Monday and yesterday morning. Today I'm doing ok, uber tired and sleepy but really really happy that all this is over. For now. Reconstruction plans are ahead and in a month time I'm starting Tamoxifen for the next 5 years. It will be another tough hill to conquer but I'm sure it will be fine...
Now just really thinking about being more active, finally got the green flag to start exercising again. Needless to say, starting chemo right after giving birth was not the best combo for my weight. Oh well a kilo more or a kilo less won't make any difference, I'm healthy and that's the most important thing... the rest will come along.
All this couldn't have been done without the love and support of my husband, my lovely baby girl, my beloved parents who came to stay with us and help all the way from Mexico, couldn't be possible either without caring friends and strangers who always had a tender hand and words for me.... and of course last but not least, thanks to this forum and its threads. Without all the support I got from each one of you by reading your own personal stories, I couldn't have make it.
So... THANK YOU DECEMBER CHEMO SISTERS .
Joy & Vida Sofia
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ya joystars!!
so f***ing done with chemo!! you are awesome and i bet you are glad it's over!
anyone tried celexa? my doc prescribed it to me today. i finally admitted to myself i think i may be a bit depressed. I kind of been feeling that odd, weird , depressed, sad , cut off feeling. especially since chemo ended. my doc said alot of women go through that when it's done. it gets better during rads,cause you are being "cared for often" during that time, but after rads it usually hits again. so, i am going on celexa. i went on this one, cause the side effects are supposed to be better than some of the other anti depressants and it is supposed to help somewhat with the hot flashes too. plus i drink a few beers a couple nights a week and this one is not supposed to make you wacky as much. i have given up alot to this disease, i am not giving up my blueberry beer
so ladies, if you or someone you know has taken this drug, i would love to hear some feedback. i am starting on it tomorrow! thanks!
hope all is well with my sistas!!!! have any of you joined the april rads thread? i may be april, i may be may, depending on how the consult and contours and all that goes in the next few weeks! if you are all on april, i will cheat if i am on mays, so i can keep pace with you ladies!!!
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Joystars, I am happy you are finished with chemo! Wishing you and your many blessings!
Angel..I have been taking zoloft... wondering if celexa might help me. I might ask my Doctor about it.
I have never had blueberry beer! I am generally a wine drinker, but have only had a glass or two maybe 5 times since October-it just doesn't taste as good anymore. Heartburn city! Does the beer have a strong blueberry flavor?
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i drink one called "blue moon" and it is good with an orange wedge. it has a muted blueberry taste. there is another one i drink called "shock top rasperry wheat" and it has a stronger raspberry flavor, but not sweet. it's good!
funny how chemo changes tastes. i used to be a liquor drinker before all this. never liked beer. i actually like beer now. not so much the bud lights and coors lights either. the microbrew ones with lots of taste!
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