Terrible Day...Moving during treatment? Help?!

BlueCowgirl,

I actually transfered all of my records to a hospital in Minnesota (from New York) last summer so I could finish my last chemo while visiting family. This was the best decision that I made. For me, it was so worth the hassle (and even the subsequent "out of network" billing battle) to spend the summer back home.

I guess you will have to decide what is the most important thing for you right now, then you will feel good about your decision. That said, it is very doable! I am sorry about your Dad's diagnosis, and yours.

One love, Jackie 

Dear Blue Cowgirl,

   Cancer has lousy timing, I've noticed. Tough decisions are ahead for you, so I'll share some thoughts from my slightly different situation. My husband had just signed on for a new job in the next state last year, and then I got my BC diagnosis. Though it would have been a lot less driving and more convenient to stay in the city where I was diagnosed, I decided to get referrals to a surgeon and onc in the closest city to his job, mainly because of all the followup visits in years to come. The administration of chemo shouldn't vary much; it mainly depends on how well your dr  team meshes with you. Perhaps you can have your 2nd treatment that is coming up fast in the same place while researching other location options, and your onc would talk to those in the next town about the situation. 

   If you figure you won't stay forever in the city where you've started treatment, you may want to go on and make the change to be near your parents (I'm not clear on how far they are from you now, and how much driving/flying is possible if you don't change doctors) . Or if you have just 5 more chemos over the next 3 months, you might be able to stay with your original doctors, depending on what treatment is next.

   I will say that one of the greatest regrets of my life is not quitting work or trying to take a leave of absence when my father was diagnosed with cancer. Years earlier, my mother had died from cancer, and I worked throughout her illness, too  (both were expected to live only about six or seven months after they were diagnosed, and that proved correct).  I managed to drive the 12-hour round trip over to see each of them about every three weeks during their illnesses, but it never felt like enough. When did I finally quit work? When I got my own diagnosis two years after my dad died. 

    Try to stay strong during all this -- remember that your concerns and feelings about your dad's situation will undoubtedly affect your own health and reaction to treatment. Prayers for you all, Charlotte

I'm so sorry about your dad. Such a blow to your family who must be reeling from your own dx.

I live in a remote island community and my onc lives in a large city 800 miles away by plane.  I think it's quite possible for your top notch team to direct your treatment from afar.  I imagine you'll be receiving A/C and then a taxane so as long as your local clinc can administer chemo it might be possible to stay near your dad.

You're right. There is much to consider.  Will your dad need to relocate to receive treatment as well? 

Hey, Blue Cowgirl, Your diagnosis is so similar mine, and I have been just fine 8.5 years later and so will you.

Just going to add my two cents worth.  We had a good friend who had brain caner he went to MD for treatment & worked with them and local treatments. They gave him six months and he lived for 5 years. 

We had a women in out community who got the same kind of brain cancer. She went to MD and they gave her six months.  She didn't like the odds and went to a more non-traditaion treatment center.  He tumor grew to 8 cm and within a year she was no longer able to function or aware of her situation.  She died not long after that.

I am not recommending one treatment over the other, but just trying share two different stories. My purpose being that you should do what you feel is best for you. Others have give you great advice as well. 

You & your family will be in my thoughts & prayers. NJ   

I don't have any sage words of wisdom, but wanted to send you (((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) Karen

Bluecowgirl,

My DH was diagnosed with brain cancer almost eight years ago, and for the first six years he was able to work and function pretty normally.  It all depends on where the cancer is, etc.  If you'd like to talk to me about what his protocol was, I'd be happy to share.  He was mostly treated at the NIH in Bethesda, MD, but the trials he was in are widely available.

I've been where you are.  Somehow, we just kept moving and have been able to handle the storm.  I pray that you will too.

Hugs

Bobbie