My Fellow Deletees and The Cyberbullied Sisters

Reporting the names of those who report a post could become a liability issue for the site.  If a woman chooses to share that information, what happens next is her responsibility.  If the site shares that information with the poster who's post has been reported, the site could be held responsible for any harm that results. 

Even though people have reported spam in the past with no consequences, there is no guarantee that could not change at any time in the future.  Think how many women, especially those in active treatment have personally identifiable information in their profile. There are bad people in this world.  This site is not a magical dome of protection against them.

The moderators already have access to that information.

I agree with Riley.  I imagine we are talking about posts being identified by our screen name, not our real names.  Just to be clear on that point.  I've see way too much personal info being posted on member's profiles.  That is their responsibility, not the responsibility of BCO.

Bren

Nobody is going to be forced to report a post.  I don't see any 'danger, danger' in having your board member name ... we're not talking about your real name remember ... showing up as a reporter. 

Spammers do not concentrate on any one site or spam post.  They are out there trying to hit as many sites as fast as they can. 

The person whose post is reported has a right to know who is accusing her.  The person reporting should have a reason that they are willing to stand behind publically ... if not they shouldn't report it. 

It's pretty obvious that 'reporters' being able to hide what they are doing has been causing problems for years.  So we need to change that ... soon or sooner. 

I don't think that having two buttons, one for spam (with automatic deletion of the post) and one for reporting a post (with a review by the Moderator before deletion of the post), would work. The abusers would simply always use the spam button.  Let's face it, these are not rational people (Athena, yes, I agree that we do not live in a rational world).

When Melissa floated the idea of eliminating the Report this Post button, a lot of people jumped on board.  I don't agree with that approach because it would eliminate a very effective tool that we use against spammers.  But true spammers hit and run.  They join the board, post 5 times and leave and usually never come back.  A few do return to post another 5 times but rarely do we see them beyond that.  So.... back to my proposal ;-) .... why not restrict the Report this Post button to newbie posts only?  That eliminates the ability of anyone to use the Report this Post button against an established member simply because they dislike what that person said.  And isn't that the crux of the problem? Basically what this does is eliminate the Report this Post button (as per Melissa's suggestion) except that it's still there for use against spammers (and other newbies who post inappropriately). 

As for those established members who write offensive posts, usually they do it under a second (or third, fourth, fifth, sixth....) screenname, so this solution would still allow the deletion of these posts, since those new screennames are considered to be new members of the board.  If someone who's been around for a while posts that sort of garbage under their own screenname, then it can simply be reported to Melissa via a PM - that's what we used to do before the Report this Post button was created.  Or  - more complicated/costly from a tech development standpoint - a 2nd button could be created that could be used on all posts (newbie and established members) that simply alerts Melissa to a concerning post, without deleting the post.

With this solution, the deletions of established members posts for no reason except game-playing, stalking and disagreement with what they say would be stopped.  True spam, on the other hand, could still be deleted.  Those who create alternate screennames to wreak havoc could still be deleted.  The only questionable posts that would remain up are those written by established members that are deemed to be offensive or inappropriate.  These could brought to the attention of the Moderator and she can handle the situation from there.  I think makes the most sense; I don't think that members here should police & judge for appropriateness the posts of other members. 

I doubt that this solution would be too difficult to implement or very costly. It would be simple to manage.  It might not be perfect but it would solve 95% of the problem.  Some of the other suggestions are interesting, but are complicated, may be costly to implement and might require more management.  And something like that ain't gonna happen. 

Beesie -- The applied KISS principle is usually the best one to follow!  As well as the easiest and cheapest to carry out.

Keeping reporters' names private because of "whatever" is a red herring.  As Ann says "You post it, you own it".

Beesie, I'm still against automatic deletions (without mod review), and don't like the idea of 'only' deleting newbies or making non-newbies immune to being responsible for their posts, or telling newbies they can't report spam. I do understand the reasoning behind what you're saying, but think it goes too far, and is throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Maybe a reported post (even spam) could have a notice at the bottom similar to:

This post has been flagged for review by the moderators. It has been flagged as (spam, offensive, harassing, etc.) by _____.

Repeat the above for each person who reports it. That should serve as fair warning to anyone who doesn't realize it's spam. And it doesn't let people delete posts during the moderator's off-hours.

Edited to make it clear whose post I was responding to.

I too am a bit confused about the concern of showing the deleters screen name.  If that is a worry to you, don't hit 'report'.

Why not have a special button just for trolls.  Ha!  They could out themselves!

Bren

Or the "I'm not breaking any rules button .. but you irritate the crap out of me."

Bren

Medigal .. I like the sentence you posted.  And I'm going to follow your lead on this too.

I intend on keeping my remarks as calm and as kind as possible.

Bren

Thank you ladies.  It's the old "Love Your Enemies"  but with a "Medismile" twist!  How can they PM hostile posts to Melissa if there aren't any??  Besides, we need to return to enjoying ourselves and getting rid of all this additional stress.  I was driven to eat half a Nestle's candy bar today.  Chocolate is soooo good for stress!

Hey Medismile --  Have the other half for dessert tonight!

Calm and kind -- I like that too .

Lindassa:  I had to give the other half of the Nestle bar to DP.  He lives under intense stress every day trying to cope with "me"!  That's ok cause I also have a chocolate Cadabury bar hidden in "my" bedroom.  I knew there had to be something good about seperate bedrooms!  There is!  Hidden chocolate bars!!!!

In the big picture perspective, the cyberbullied are a very small subset of BCO and to me, it would not make a lot of sense to go to any expense to protect or cater to them.  There are helpful members with long histories, 1000s of posts who never have problems, who politely disagree and discuss and aren't caught up in this hullabaloo type stuff.   

Ideally the automatic deletion option would  have taken the load off of moderators and quickly removed offensive porn, spam and the like.    It seems to outlived it's usefulness now that it has been taken advantage of.

BCO is important.. the 90,000 members are important.  Perhaps the forum needs a little tweaking but i don't know that moderators should really be expected to babysit and investigate reports of rudeness or misbehavior.  

It's a blast to visit, talk, plan parties and form friendships.  There is no reason why a simple fix could not eliminate the 'problems' and still provide recreational avenues within the forum.