please help

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited March 2011

    THANKS EVERYONE- Aside from a massive headache and nausea, It's a wonderful AM.  I am going to just keep my mouth shut today and what ever happens -  happens.  All I have is opinions, no control so decided whats the use in saying anything.  I'll llet you know.  XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    With you in spirit. Holding Landen and Ella in my heart. Hoping for deep wisdom in all involved.

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited March 2011

    Hoping to hear soon how the court went!!!!!

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  • karen333
    karen333 Member Posts: 3,697
    edited March 2011

    Cathi, let us know how court went, hoping for good news to calm your fears.   Karen

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  • momof3sofar
    momof3sofar Member Posts: 123
    edited March 2011

    Oh my goodness I've been away for a while.  Keeping you in my thoughts as well Cathi!!

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  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited March 2011

    Thinking of you Cathi oxoxoxoxo

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  • cloudhowe
    cloudhowe Member Posts: 236
    edited March 2011

    Best, best, beat wishes wee Cathi.

    tartan hugs

    Nets xxxx

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited March 2011

    Sorry for keeping you all waiting-  a VERY long day in court -  we were the second 2 last case heard,  and these hearing were all about reunification so all very long,  and Oh my gosh so awful to listen to,  the judge is very hard anyway and by the time she got too us she was not in a good mood at all.    Cases before us parents were failing drug tests left and right,  and DCF still trying to send childre back,  and right before us -  OH my, I actually started crying,  it has been going on for 4 yrs, a little boy first removed at 6/mo for abouse to him,  returned  home 2 months later, and tehn removed a month later at 9/mo,  covered with burn marks and bruises,  he has had the same foster mother the past 4yrs, mom is still failing drug tests and dad doesn't live with her- just VISITS the mom -  but he isn't even allowed unsupervised visits yet,  and they want to give this 4yr old back to the mom -  hr attornet said oh Mom Has Just Had A Brief Relaps And confident she will test clean again soon,  and dad promises he won't be at her home"  OMG,  thank God this judge has a brain,  the Foster Mom was a basket case, pleading on behalf of this little boy - he stays with Foster mom until at least August and Judge sent mom back to rehab.  Anyway - only one woman was awarded her child back today.

    Amanda and Bill were dealyt some harsh words by Judge Judy -  she said to them DO YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN BACK -   SIL said yes we love our children ,  oh gosh she was mad, she said I didn't ask you that everyone who stands before me LOVES thier kids, DO YOU WANT THEM BACK, they both then said yes, she said - YELLING IT- I DON'T BELIEVE THAT FOR A MINUTE.  I THINK YOU LIKE HAVING YOUR PARENTS  TAKE ALL THE BURDEN WORRY AND STRESS OFF YOU-  OTHERWISE YOU WOULD NOT HAVE MISSED 10 CLASSES.  Tell me why did you miss 10 classes -  We were tired, sick,  resting -  Again Yelling- TELL ME WHEN IN THE PAST 9 MONTHS HAVE YOUR PARENTS HAD THAT OPPORTUNITY -  So Sil is doing the talking, he says Your Honor we take them every weekend -  WRONG THING TO SAY,   YOU CALL THAT BEING A PARENT.  Anyway she went on & on,  ended up that they have until 3/22 to complete every single class they have remaining at this point - her final word was DO NOT FAIL.  The kids are here now,  at least until then.  I am so glad I don't break the law.  I would have pooped my pants being yelled at like that. 

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  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 16,818
    edited March 2011

    Oh wow Cathi!  I would really have liked to be a fly on the wall and see the looks on DD and SIL's faces when confronted by that judge!  At least for a little while longer you can relax a bit and know that the little loved ones will be safe for a while longer.  Well done you for being so strong.

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited March 2011

    See, we told you so!!! The judge has brains....but that doesn't solve anything yet. In a way it's good that they had to sit through all the other stuff. I hope it put fear deep - very deep into Amanda's heart that this is serious shit!

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  • karen333
    karen333 Member Posts: 3,697
    edited March 2011

    great news Cathi!!  You got a judge with common sense who saw through all the excuses SIL was offering.  I second Barbe''s remarks, maybe sitting through all that made a serious impression on Amanda.  No more skating through the legal requirments, they are being held to task.  Sleep well tonight.  Karen

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited March 2011

    Thanks Everyone,  Siiting through all the other cases sure did impact me -  what a sad scary world so many children live in.  The thing that kinda scares me is defendent aattorneys and even DCF workers pushing for children to go back to the horendous homes- hoow can they do that with a clear mind. I am VERE SO GREATFUL FOR THIS JUDGE.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    What a sharp judge!!! Way to go justice system!!! I agree with the sincere hope that this day cut through the excuses in the hearts of the parents and made them realize just how important it is to make some changes for those babies' future.

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  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited March 2011

    Wow - that judge has my respect! She must see so many sad cases - no wonder she's so fierce! Glad they got the pep talk. You must be wrung out though Cathi. I hope you have a good sleep tonight. As Barbe said, it doesn't really solve anything but hopefully the reality and seriousness of the situation was driven home to Amanda and sil.

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  • mcbird
    mcbird Member Posts: 381
    edited March 2011

    Wow Cathi, maybe you can relax at least a little.  This judge has it together, and you will know by 3/22 if they really want the kids back or are just giving it lip service.  Hugs    Darla

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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited March 2011

    I want to ditto everything that has already been said. great judge with common sense. Hopefully the judge put some fear in the hearts of your daughter and sil.

    Sheila 

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited March 2011

    Cathi, please rememeber that the defense lawyers have a job to do and that's to get the kids back home. They have to defend murderers if they work criminal law, so to them it's just a job. The judge knows what's going on....

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  • cloudhowe
    cloudhowe Member Posts: 236
    edited March 2011

    Yep, that Judge is one of us!

    Great that she made mincemeat of the dafties who were slithering around having a wee bleat about how hard their lives are.

    So you did good girl.

    Nets xxxx

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited March 2011

    Thanks everyone, didn't really do anything, she (judge did it all) ,  pretty much the only thing we said was NO when she asked if they were paying support,  and YES when she asked us if we were ok with the children remaining at this point until 3/22 at least. 

    I know Barbe your right the attorneys have a job to do, and it is good that everyone is represented, just hits an emotional nerve when it is about children who have absolutely NO SAY in anything.  Every other time we have been in court we were first or second called, this time we got to sit through it all.  I lost track of how many cases there were , but like I said only 1 child was returned home Monday out of them all. Ed said he can't imagine being a judge having to listen to those horror stories day in and day out, he was really taken aback by the little one in foster care for 4 yrs and burned & bruised.  It really bothered him all evening.

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  • cloudhowe
    cloudhowe Member Posts: 236
    edited March 2011

    Which is why he is just a prince - and - perhaps the most loved other half on this thread. Or do I speak for only for myself?? HUGE HUGS to Ed, would love to shake his hand!

     Nets xx

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  • momof3sofar
    momof3sofar Member Posts: 123
    edited March 2011

    I completely agree with everything said here as well!  I can't imagine having that Judges job.  I think everyone is right that you will see indeed how badly they want their kids back if they go to classes or not in the next couple weeks!

     Good luck staying sane while you wait! 

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  • karen333
    karen333 Member Posts: 3,697
    edited March 2011

    Cathi, I agree, Ed has been a rock during all this chaos.  I'm glad he's there for you.  Karen

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited March 2011

    Thank you- he is my ROCK, MY LOVE MY BEST FRIEND for sure. When I got divorced I had sworn off men,  and out of no where along he came,  I have always said he was an angel sent to me from God, my parents, not for sure who, but he was sent from heaven.  He never bats an eye at anything, at the start of BC WOW almost 5 years now, he NEVER missed a Dr's appointment,  they always called us the DYNAMIC DUO,  I can't imagine life without him.  Excuse me - I am going to go and tell him that again .

    XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

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  • mcbird
    mcbird Member Posts: 381
    edited March 2011

    It takes one hell of a man to love someone else's gk like he does yours and it takes one hell of a woman to keep a man like that satisfied.  Kudos to you Cathi.   Darla

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited March 2011

    AWWWWWWWWW THANK YOU DARLA, for as bad as things seem some days, I am truly blessed and I hope I never loose sight of that (him) & never take him for granted.

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited March 2011

    Cathi, I'm glad the kids are safe with you for a little longer. All I can say is I LOVE THAT JUDGE. And even never having met him, I LOVE ED!

    My news is that I finally closed on my townhouse this week, and I've slowly started to move stuff over. And I do mean slowly. Last night I moved four of eight boxes of Chirstmas decorations, lol. Well, I figure the seasonal stuff should go right down into storage in the basement, anyway. Today, I'm bringing over the other four boxes, some household cleaning supplies, some basic tools, and maybe some seasonal clothing. I'll be making at least two trips (maybe three). It's about 13 miles from my Dad's house where I now live, so I'm figuring on using up a bit of gas, about a gallon each trip...got to figure that into my moving costs, lol.

    Anyway, there's no real plan to pack things up until I clear some of the clutter away. Tonight, I plan to sift through the stuff in my room...with a big garbage bag at my side: DUMP anything I haven't looked at in a couple of years, and sort things out.

    Love to you all. I get a chance to read a bit every few days, but not too much time to post.

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited March 2011

    Congrats Nancy -  while I do not envy you at all - I'll wish you HAPPY PACKING & MOVING.. 

    Ed is actually going through his man cave this weekend, community wide garage sale here in April,  I might have convinced him we need to de-clutter some,  and I do say MIGHT. He is a pack rat,  not messy about it, but he LOVES stuff.  So I told him lets sell some old stuff so you can buy new stuff. 

    HAPPY WEEKEND ALL.

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  • portiasproudmom
    portiasproudmom Member Posts: 2,125
    edited March 2011

    Just popping in to check on everyone.  Cathi, I'm so glad the judge tore Amanda and your idiot SIL new buttholes!!  Good for her!!!  I'd be grumpy too, if I had to listen to the garbage that comes out of the mouths of these incompetent parents.  So sad.  Those poor babies!  I'm concerned because I saw your post on FB.  What's going on, girl?  New challenges?  My prayers continue to be with you, hon! 

    Love and hugs to all,

    Karen

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited March 2011

    Thanks Karen,  we are just possibly facing a major financial crisis,  the auction where Ed buys cars is making major change without warning and it can be very devestating to so many dealers around here.  The auction allows delers what they call Floor Planning,  basically a loan for the cars they buy,  no dealer PAYS upfront for cars other wise you have NO   cash flow,   it is a 30 day loan per car (if your running your business right) a car should be sold within that time,  then you pay off the car at the auction and the auction fee which normally is $200per.  Because of the economy a ton of small lots have gone under oweing the auction house thousands of $$$$$,  thus the auctions want to decrease or stop floor planning all together -  this will kill many more small lots,  if you can't buy cars, you can't sell cars. Just praying God knows what he is doing with this one also.

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  • cloudhowe
    cloudhowe Member Posts: 236
    edited March 2011

    OH no Cathi!

    So the previous arragement meant that you bought the cars on a fixed term basis,then kind of paid the auction room a fee? And now they are selling the cars on a cash basis? Or similar?

    This bank induced financial meltdown has had so many repercussions for the blameless. I am incandesndescent with anger for all the good, decent, hard-working people whose lives have been destroyed and WILL be destroyed by all of this.

    I hope you can weather this storm Cathi - you've been through far too much. You know that we are all behind you and love you and Ed. Finger crossed that financially, you won't be hammered. That on top of everything else ....

    I truly think you are one of the strongest people I have ever known.

     Nets xxxxx

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