please help

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  • cloudhowe
    cloudhowe Member Posts: 236
    edited March 2011

    Hope this makes you smile my dears

  • cloudhowe
    cloudhowe Member Posts: 236
    edited March 2011

    Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph!!

    I wish I could have your insane DD in a locked room!!!!

    I am assuming the authorities know what they are doing, and they have, as we say, "previous", past bad behavior.

    I am wondering if a spell inside would be the best lesson for Amanda and Bill, their behavior is aboninable. I don't know, is it possible to have temporary care facilities put in place with you guys having full access? You have done nothing wrong and have stepped in at cost to your health and pocket to assume what otherwise would be the role of the state - at the huge cost that would incur. CLEARLY DD AND SIL-LY, are deemed unfit, at least at the moment.

    Like all of us here, i just wish that I could DO something to help, but I just get so FECING angry about what is happening to you.

     Prayers are flying out to you Cathi. Hugs to Ed and the furries, and the babies.

    xxxxxxxNettiexxxxxxxx

  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited March 2011

    Nettie- Love the pic and thank you and of coarse everyone for your support & concern. 

    Criminal court keeps in constant contact with the child workers, part of them keeping the children is them doing their DCF classes /counseling and Criminal Counseling through drug court,  they are VERY FORTUNATE to have been put through drug court as opposed to having a hearing or even a trial,  drug court is a 9mo-2yr program 9all depenndent on individual) but once successfully completed your recored is CLEAN,  of coarse you are given this opportunity only the FIRST Time YOU ARE DRUG CHARGED. SO THEY WOULD BE STUPID/FOOLISH NOT TO DO WHAT EVER THEY HAVE TO.

    So I am guessing by case workers tone, reunification on Monday will still happen,  see Nettie at this point they have done everything they have been ordered to do,  The concern now is in  them not doing what may be ordered next, and that is a violation.  So anyway,  gotta leave it up to the powers that be,  Gosh knows I can't say anything to either of them,  THEY HAVE ANGER ISSUES  - LOL .  Now I know why everything I say is taken wrong.  But also have to be careful with child workers,  watch my step.  

    Nettie Ed an I have been overwhelmed over worked and under paid these past 9/mo,  And if in the future they are removed,  it's not either of us who will be the sad part of it, it's Landen & Ella,  So now I am not only nervous about sending them back Monday,  I feel like BIG LIMBO LAND,  is it a question of IF they come back or more so WHEN /?

  • cloudhowe
    cloudhowe Member Posts: 236
    edited March 2011

    And/or if you will be able to cope?

  • cloudhowe
    cloudhowe Member Posts: 236
    edited March 2011

    And also what help will will be there for you, while they gather their considerable shite together? I cannie imagine what you are going through, exept the mets - a constant worry.

    You must have some statutory access to the kids, since they have been in your care? Even in the "worst case scenario?" They were placed in your care, you were under constant scruitany, the POWERS THAT BE must have to recognise all of this?

    Nets

  • mcbird
    mcbird Member Posts: 381
    edited March 2011

    Cathi, I have been waiting to see if DD & SL were going to find a way to throw a monkey wrench in the plan for the kids to come home.  They have had it too sweet for all these months and the weekends have shown them just how hard it is going to be to have the kids with them on a full time basis (as well as expensive).  I expected them to come up with something to make it seem as though it is your fault they can't have the kids back

    You might tell Amanda that they need to do everything they can to make this work because if it doesn't, the children may have to go into foster care because you and Ed are in no shape phsically to take care of them.  That's just a few thoughts from my fevered brain, I know all this stress is just wearing you down and I hope everything goes off without a hitch but I know how irrational people get from substance abuse even when they are sobered up.  Love ya gal,  Darla

  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited March 2011

    Thanks Darla,  when Ed finally got home last evening, I told him the days events didn't bothe r him at work cause it's very busy car time these days,  for really the first time, I heard a SIGH of frustration in him,  he is too sooooooooo tired,  he is awesome, doing all he can to help,  he takes them to school 99% of the time and trys very hard to get out in time so that we can both do the pick-up,  it's a task getting them in and out for us old dogs,  and everything else he does.  These past 9/mo would not have gone as smoothly as they have  - even with all the work of little ones with out him or Jaclyn.  Maybe you know my DD better than I, even my BFF kinda hinted at the same thing a few weeks ago, about them being very comfortable with the way things are.

    Well shall see what case workers thoughts are later,  And Darla I LOVE YOUR TAG LINE- 

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited March 2011

    Nettie, I love that when you get frustrated you start to type with a Scottish accent...hehehehehhehehe

    I figured out months ago that DD and SIL-LY (love that!) would prefer the current set up. In fact, could you keep them on the weekends too so we can have some down time to get drunk/stoned?

  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited March 2011

    So my AM call from Amanda,  " I don't know how we missed so many classes - but we missed 10 drug classes - both Bill & I"  This means they have at least 2.5 wks left of 4 days a week.  Plus they now have to go back to criminal court on 3/8 -  3/7 is DCF case drug court the next day.  You gals are right, I honestly think they skipped classes on purpose.  This is so F-IN crazy.  

  • karen333
    karen333 Member Posts: 3,697
    edited March 2011

    Cathi, I don't know how you are coping.  Amanda's calls can put you right over the edge. So, they can't have the kids back?   Isn't it amazing how 2 sisters turned out to be polar opposites.  Having been posting but have been reading.  Karen

  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited March 2011

    ((((((((((Cathi, Ed, Ella, Landon, Jaclyn)))))))))) - I'm almost lost for words. This is so hard on you. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

     Jane oxoxoxo

  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited March 2011

    So now real answers with the case workers vist regarding Monday's court date,  Karen they can have the kids back on Monday,   THE FINAL DECISION HOWEVER LIES IN THE JUDGES HANDS,   realizing they have missed so many classes sets uneasy with case worker and reunification team, but the Florida law states that they must be given the opportunity to prove their fitness -  I don't know just confused. She wanteed to know if Ed and I are willing & prepared to care for the children LONG TERM - FOREVER. We could not answer her   HOW BAD IS THAT.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited March 2011

    Not bad at all. Just realistic.

  • karen333
    karen333 Member Posts: 3,697
    edited March 2011

    Cathi, my heart hurts for you,Ed, Ella, and Landen. Of course you couldn't answer, don't beat yourself up over that.  What a heart rending situation.  My prayers are with you and the children.  Karen

  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited March 2011

    Tried so hard today to not let all this crap com=nsume my every moment/thought, but didn't do to well,  we even did some retal therepy buying some much needed new porch furniture and setting it up - but the sadness, worry , fear whay ever emotioon theres is to describe all this still kinda won out.

    Amanda and I had some words last night on the phone before she came to get the kids, I don't even know what started it for sure, but she of coarse hit me with the " YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT ME- BAD MOTHER" stuff,   anyway I know I said some things back I proably should not have like :" BAD MOM UNTIL YOU NEED SOMETHING"  So anyway they came and got the children,  nothing said then,   I have tried to call 3 times today to check on Ella she was sent home with a fever Friday,  even drove up there once  - not home,  and no calls back yet.  Ed says she's just trying to push my buttons and P-me off,  I know he's right,  because I am Po'ED AND SO WANNA CALL BACK AND LEAVE A MESSAGE I SHOULD NOT,

    OH WELL - OH CRAP -  Sometimes this is just to much to deal with.

  • karen333
    karen333 Member Posts: 3,697
    edited March 2011

    Cathi, one of the worst thngs is that they know how to push our buttons, especially after the day of worrying you had.  Do not leave anything on the answering machine, she is not above using it as a weapon right now.  Take a nice big glass of your favorite drink and go outside and decompress.  You have to take care of you (and  Ed), this is going to be a long few couple of days.   Karen

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    Oh, Cathi, my heart aches for you. There are no words. It's going to be a rough weekend. I'm sure Amanda is stressed at the thought of not returning the children and having to deal with them full time, especially with Ella sick. The only way she seems to know for dealing with stress is to strike out and you are handy. Please try to recuperate over the weekend! Lots of hugs atcha' from the left coast!

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited March 2011

    Cathi. You KNOW she is ignoring your calls to punish you. Why do you let her?? She is saying, "Okay, I'm supposed to take care of the kids, then let me! Leave me alone!" You HAVE to leave it. You MUST let go. You can VENT here....in all uppercase if YOU want!!! But leave them alone!!!! Or she'll use that in court that you are harrassing them - stalking them - checking up on them! Let the courts do what your taxes pay them to do!!!

    Now come on back and VENT some more!!

  • cloudhowe
    cloudhowe Member Posts: 236
    edited March 2011
  • cloudhowe
    cloudhowe Member Posts: 236
    edited March 2011

    opps - did that go through

  • cloudhowe
    cloudhowe Member Posts: 236
    edited March 2011

    That's our wee lilly Rose, wearing her new Glasgow Celtic kit - Celtic mad just like her granddad!

    Cathi - it's all been said. It's out of your control now. The kids will be monitored by those who made the decsion (bad or good) to return them to the dafties who are their parents.

    Stand back, take deep breaths and have a bit of fun. And take really good care of yourself.

    I was on a proper politacal rally yesterday, again the cuts against the disabled. There were more protesters than Attendees at the Lib conference in Scotland yesterday!

    I had to sit in a portable chair but, boy it was empowering!

    Hope you are all sparkingly, my dear ones.

    xxxNetxxxx 

  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited March 2011

    Cathi, you need to sit back and let things go that you can't do anything about. I know it is hard for you since you have taken care of Landon and Ella for the past 6 months but let Amanda and her husband know exactly what it is like taking care of children 24 hours a day even when they are sick by letting them go. If she needs you, she will call you. but like someone else said don't harass them with phone calls.

    Netti, Rose is another adorable little girl. makes me wish I had a little girl to take care of . . . nope.

    Sheila 

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2011

    Oh, Nettie! Lilly Rose is a true representative for the Celtics, though they might reject the pink Nikes and headband! Those eye are simply incredible.

    Cathi, check in, will you? I hope all is well and you are spending the weekend sleeping and/or playing.

    Connor is still sick...day six of fever. I spoke the the doctor on the phone yesterday. She said this is typical of what is going around...5-7 days of fever. If it doesn't break by tomorrow, I'm taking him in. My symptoms didn't last long, thankfully. 

  • mcbird
    mcbird Member Posts: 381
    edited March 2011

    What a beautiful girl she is.

    I have to crow a litlle, I have a new ggd, number 3.  Her name is Yazzmine Milan, she weighed 5,6 and was 17" long.  It feels like your just holding blanket until you reach down and kiss her little cheek.  I think she will be home today, I can't wait to hold her again but am glad I won't be taking care of her. Ha Ha.

    Being a ggm is much better than having full time resp. for a child.  You will make it Cathi, it will just be hard for awhile and you will probably always worry until they get thier heads out of their butts and realize where their priorities should be.  Love and hugs.  Darla

  • karen333
    karen333 Member Posts: 3,697
    edited March 2011

    Cathi, there will be all your cyber friends with you in court tomorrow.  Before my godmother passed she had told me inumerable times that the book of our life is written by God from the very beginning of our life.  He holds Ella and Landen, you and Ed and even Amanda in His loving hands.  No amount of worrying is going to change tomorrow's outcome, hold onto Ed and let tomorrow come.  Karen

  • coonie
    coonie Member Posts: 7,618
    edited March 2011

    My thoughts and prayers are with you Cathi~~

    Hang in there girl~~

  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited March 2011

    Congratulations Darla-  what a tiny little angel.  Nettie what a beauty Lily Rose is,  love her outfit.

    I know you all are with me and I appreciate the love & support.  I wasn't hounding Amanda this weekend, right now though while we have the custody we are obligated to make contact at least once over the weekend while they have the children,  she knows that stipulation as well.  So anyway theres no winning in any of this with my daughter,  because if I wasn't obligated and I didn't call knowing Ella was ill  when the mood hit her she would throw that up in my face.  So just gonna call it a day,  and let what ever happens happen,  cause I don't have any control over any of this. 

  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited March 2011

    I will be with you today in spirit while you are in court. Hopefully some things can be worked out.

    Sheila 

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited March 2011

    Did Amanda answer at least one of your calls a day then, Cathi? If not, she's breaking the rules....

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 16,818
    edited March 2011

    Thinking of you today Cathi.

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