Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?

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  • Alaina
    Alaina Member Posts: 461
    edited February 2011

    I haven't yet, but I hope to.

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited February 2011

    You're right fearless, I will stop for now initiating contact. I'll see if he calls or texts me in the next day or two. If not, I'll find a friend to go to the game with me and have a kick a$# time :)

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  • VJSL8
    VJSL8 Member Posts: 652
    edited February 2011

    Men are hunters and need the "chase". when women initiate contact too much--they lose interest. I agree to stop all contact and wait for him to start "hunting" again. Don't make it easy for a guy. If he is really interested (and not just for a good time/short time) he will pursue you. but time frames for men are different than they are for women. They can go longer periods of time without contact and not think anything of it while we want/need contact a lot more often. Keep busy with what interests you, so when you finally do talk, you can casually let him know you haven't been waiting by the phone for him to call but have a life outside of him.

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited February 2011

    You ladies are awesome, I knew I could post here and you'd help reel me in! I will not contact him again, period. I know I'm worth it, if he wants me, like you said he can pursue me, until then I'll make plans with the ones that are pursuing me already! :)

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited February 2011

    Alaina,

    I hope to, also..   I feel I am ready now, but not much luck lately.

    Dragonfly, I agree about the "chase" thing.   It sounds so cliche, but there is a reason so many women believe it - it's true.    I have a feeling you will hear from him, though.  

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited February 2011

    I'm sure I will, I just hate the waiting game. It's hard not to contact him, but I so don't want to be that girl, the chaser like in that movie!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2011

    This is the guy you are going to the game with and meeting his friends for dinner? 

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited February 2011

    Yes that's the one! I haven't heard from him since a brief text last night and only cause I initiated it :( 

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited February 2011

    Don't call/text/email him...it's the only way you are going to know.    I still think he will call you.   Don't bring up the plans, though - let HIM do that.

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  • sunangel27
    sunangel27 Member Posts: 310
    edited February 2011

    Posting a reply to my own post........to let you all know.......that the guy I had been seeing off and on for two years......that sent me the Valentine's day txt....that I had seen Tuesday.......

    Found out Saturday night that he had spent the night with another woman.....he has been seeing her the whole time he was seeing me too......... such an ass...and I feel like such a fool...

    There were so many times I didn't hear from him, or he would be so 'busy".......then I found out for SURE why Sunday morning...... I guess after all that time I had to know for sure. I'm glad I found out, and now I can move on.               I got a txt last night from him, that said he didn't ever say he "wasn't seeing someone else", or that he was JUST seeing me..... and I 'wanted" too much from him ........ I wanted a "one woman man" from him was all I wanted.....a relationship. 

    Time to move on, pick myself up and be happy!!!! :)
    I got an all clear regarding my MRI and that is exciting news to me too! So here we go!!! :)

    Fearless, things will look up for you sweety! Keep an open mind and an open heart. And love yourself!! :)

    Dragonfly.....I keep telling myself, if it was meant to be it was meant to be, and if not, then go on...move on.      Good luck to you, but as others have said....don't be sitting there waiting every minute for him to call...or txt.    Keep busy and live your life!!! :) 

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited February 2011

    Sunangel, I'm sorry  - ugh, that sucks.   I always say, when you don't hear from them for more than 3 days (that's my limit), they are probably seeing someone else.   I NEVER buy the busy excuse, not in this day and age - anyone can drop anyone a line, even if just to say hi.   I feel your pain....

    BUT - VERY glad to hear about the clean MRI!  

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited February 2011

    Sunangel, truly sorry that this ended badly, but at least you won't be wasting one more day on a bad relationship.  Great news about the MRI.  Somethings are much more important that others.  Heal your heart, then get out there again.

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited February 2011

    I'm so sorry to hear your story! I think it truly is next to impossible to find "the one" I'm hanging in there, makin plans with friends, signed up for one of those crazy online dating sites etc.... So keeping options open. I did very casually ask him last night if everything was ok because it seemed like we'd been talking less and less lately. He said yeah it was, he was just busy lately had to take on a 2nd job, has a roommate now etc,

    So I just said ok I'm glad to hear that and dropped it. He did call last night and this morning. Who knows really, boys are so silly ;) I'm still debating on if I want to meet his friends for dinner as planned or just meet him at the game. Seems a mute point to meet them when it's obviously

    not going anywhere any time soon.

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited February 2011

    Well, he called - so that's good (tell me you did not call him first)...

    But don't mention the communication thing again.  Men hate that.   I've driven away a lot of men that way.   Just be your fun, confident self.  

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited February 2011

    Oh I won't, that's why it was a casual 1 time thing, and I dropped it after that and we chatted on the phone. I just had to ask at least see what his response was like. Nope, I didn't call or text him at all yesterday, until he started it then I responded.

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  • sunangel27
    sunangel27 Member Posts: 310
    edited February 2011

    good for you dragonfly :)

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited February 2011

    Good, glad you didn't call.   I knew he would call.

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited February 2011

    I can be strong ;) lol It was funny, I knew he had a meeting after work til 7 so didn't figure I'd hear from him. But I got a text about 720 sayin Hi, just got home from the meeting, helping T with her homework, fixing dinner then I'll call. So that's an improvement, right? :) Then we had talked about me staying up there after the game tomorrow night, it's an hour north of me. But his room mate has his kids over this weekend, and one of them has a friend, uh no thanks lol! So he said last night, he would just come back down here with me after the game if that was cool. Maybe the text helped? I know he is busy, he was telling me about his day yesterday and it made me tired! He worked, came home, helped his girl with homework, took the dog on a run, went back to a 2 hour meeting for work, then came home helped her more with homework and made dinner etc... Time will tell...

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  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 19,483
    edited February 2011

    Well, things do look a bit brighter, don't they?  Stay strong, and calm.  I will be thinking good thoughts for you.

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited February 2011

    Yeah I think so, either he really wants to go to the game or me asking if everything was ok made him come to? We'll see :) Thank you for the good thoughts!

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  • sunangel27
    sunangel27 Member Posts: 310
    edited February 2011

    Yes, they seem to be looking brighter for you dragonfly!! :)

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  • sunangel27
    sunangel27 Member Posts: 310
    edited February 2011

    PS...... Dragonfly.......don't analyze it......just enjoy it :)

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited February 2011

    Thanks! Tonight is the game and dinner with his friends, nervous but excited :)

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2011

    I have been out of town for awhile and I have been catching up on this thread....don't keep us hanging, Dragonfly....am dying to hear how the game, meeting friends and yes, the sleep over went.   Great news about the MRI, SunAngel. 

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited February 2011

    Oh sorry, there wasn't much to report on unfortunately. Went up to his house, his friends had to bail on dinner cause the husband was not feeling good and got off work late. But they did come to the game and I got to meet them there briefly. Had a blast at the game, they won and it was awesome! He stayed here, but slept on my couch. Then last night we text back and forth a bit and he didn't answer my last text at I sent at 7:40 and I haven't heard from him since then :(

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited February 2011

    Did you kiss at all or did he try to hold your hand or anything at all like that?

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited February 2011

    Nope :( That's the part he's waiting on, because he's not ready for the serious relationship/physical part just yet. So it's kind of silly, i don't know what you'd call it. I'm having a hard time not being annoyed or hurt by that he just abruptly stopped texting last night in the middle of our conversation, and then not a word from him today, period. I personally can't stand that if friends or people in general do it. Communication is HUGE for me.

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited February 2011

    I think if it were me I would probably ask him over to dinner at this point, wear something sexy and make a move.   You guys have to get out of your friend mode, I think.   But if you are not ready for that, that is also understandable.   I don't know....I need physical intimacy.   Not necessarily sex, but I would have wanted a kiss by now....Kiss

    But we all know that men are not my area of expertise! 

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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited February 2011

    Oh I'm ready and he knows that, he's just coming out of a divorce so that's the reasoning. But believe me, my patience is running out :) I'm just ticked right now because he hasn't made any contact since yesterday so 24 hours ago and we were right in the middle of a conversation. Rude!

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  • Fearless_One
    Fearless_One Member Posts: 3,300
    edited February 2011

    Try not to contact him.   Don't let him think you are wrapped around his finger.  You've been doing a lot of the initiating.  I would step back a bit - and I promise you, he will step forward.   

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