Anybody wanna be my friend?

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  • Wonderland
    Wonderland Member Posts: 3,288
    edited February 2011

    Hey CoolBreeze,

    Like so many women have written before me, I also feel out of place. I didn't find BCO until after my mastectomy, chemo, rads, and delayed uni-diep (and that was 2 years after my rads). When I was home recuperating from recon, I was on the computer one day and discovered this site. Sure wish I had known about it from the beginning.

    I want to be your friend! I live in North Carolina and have been for most of my life. I was born in New York but we moved to NC when I was 4. As a matter of fact, my biospy was difficult for pathologists to figure out if I had IT or not. Slides ended up at Cornell University/Presbyterian Hospital in New York where it was determined that I indeed had the Big C. I felt like a part of me went "home."

    Unlike you, I prefer to walk outside as opposed to a treadmill inside. Bugs are OK with me. Plus, we have cats, not dogs. Hope we can still be friends. How about coast-to-coast friends.Smile

    Edited to add: Sorry about your Mom. She missed out on a great daughter.

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  • Leslie1962
    Leslie1962 Member Posts: 233
    edited February 2011

    I am from Michigan - lots of cold, snow and ice here right now. Wish I could be somewhere warm. Sick of winter and need some springtime flowers! Can't wait to get out in the garden and see how my flowers do this year. Counting the days until spring...

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited February 2011

    Me too!

    http://mycountdown.org/Other/Spring/

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  • Juli50
    Juli50 Member Posts: 859
    edited February 2011

    Wow! 4 pages of posts in 2 days! I wanna be your friend, too, Cool Breeze! I actually just RSVP'd to go on the Ta Ta Sisterhood Vegas trip. I won't know anybody, and have that same fear that I will be left out with no one to talk to. So if anyone here is going, please be my friend in Vegas. :)

    Mary - my mom has a pekinese/shih-tzu mix that I call a "pikachu" (for anyone who has kids that played with Pokemon), and she is so funny, a real "talker".

    I have 4 sons and 2 have moved out, 2 to go soon, and my only exercise right now is line dancing. I was tap dancing until diagnosis, but after getting congestive heart failure from Herceptin, I haven't recovered enough to tap again.

    Otter - you are my idol here. I have learned so much from you. I followed your May chemo group from it's inception since I discovered my lump the same time you all started chemo and I wanted to know what I was in for. I am so sorry you have lost 2 in your group. I felt like I knew them too.

    We got sleet here in So Cal tonight. Crazy!

    Have a good rest of the weekend everyone.

    Juli

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  • Leslie1962
    Leslie1962 Member Posts: 233
    edited February 2011

    Just checked out the spring countdown...pretty cool!

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  • YramAL
    YramAL Member Posts: 1,651
    edited February 2011

    Juli50-We also call her a "Pikachu" but sometimes my husband calls her a "Piece of S**t". That usually after she has stolen and chewed up one of his socks.

    Mary 

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  • Wonderland
    Wonderland Member Posts: 3,288
    edited February 2011

    It's going to be 72 degrees here tomorrow. Really looking forward to it!

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited February 2011

    Hi, I see many of my favorite people have already stopped by here!! I think as you learn your way around the site you find out where you want to be. If you like controversy, you surely can find it. If you want advice, you can find that too. If you have a specific interest (exercise, books, just about anything) there are many great threads. If you want to just hang out, try humor and games. If you want to offer advice....then you have to be kind of careful! And as you can see, if you want to make new friends, there are plenty of great people looking for the same thing.

    Wonderland, my North Carolina sister wouldn't tell me what the weather was like there today because she said it would make me mad.....it was 11 degrees below zero here this morning!!! Cry

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  • Juli50
    Juli50 Member Posts: 859
    edited February 2011

    Mary - but they are so darn cute to stay mad at for very long!

    I think we all need to go to Wonderland! ;)

    Juli

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2011

    Hi Ann!

    How have you been?  I see you have made a lot of new friends!  I remember you very well from Exchange City.  How's the reconstruction?  Are you all finished?

    I'm sending you warm, good thoughts this weekend...

    Brenda 

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  • Joanne58
    Joanne58 Member Posts: 1,117
    edited February 2011

    Love your candid post, Coolbreeze!  You sound like a really fun kinda friend to have :) 

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  • lonewolf219
    lonewolf219 Member Posts: 1
    edited February 2011

    Laughing Hello to anyone wanna be my friend

    Im very new at this because i didnt know that men could get breat cancer .

    IM very lost and scared so if anyone out there that could talk to me it would mean the world to me .

    I have to get my whole breast taken off and sent away to check for cancer .Please understand im very scared right now and have no one to talk to ..

    So God bless everyone on here and take care .

    Don

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited February 2011

    Hi Don, what crappy way to meet women, huh? I'm sure that we would all like to be your friend and help if we can. I believe there is also a forum for male breast cancer, I don't know how active it is but you can check it out too.  Just a reminder, you can only have 5 posts a day until you reach 50 posts....which is pretty frustrating, especially if no one tells you that ahead of time. Hang in there! Ruth

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  • o2bhealthy
    o2bhealthy Member Posts: 2,101
    edited February 2011

    CoolBreeze, I was in Phoenix this weekend for an event with my DD, beautiful mid 70's. Came home yesterday and woke up to snow this morning.  I love AZ!! 

    I have two dogs (Rat Terrier and Chihuahua/Dachshund), two cats and 2 kids :)

    I am also struggling with weight gain, unfortunately I have no where in my house to put any exercise equipment.  Joined a gym but I got so discouraged since I could barely make it 10 minutes on the tread mill (my poor body is still recovering too).  My bedroom has boxes and bins full of clothing as I went from size 8, to 10, to 12 and now I am in a 14.  I finally gave away the 8's but I am hopeful for the 10's & 12's...

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  • MissBianca
    MissBianca Member Posts: 2,193
    edited February 2011

    Don, I'm so sorry you had to join the club. It has to be hard, too, because of the gender factor, and people not understanding. You can ask us any questions about navigating through these rough waters. God bless you. We will be here to hold you up.

    O2behealthy, I have my various wardrobe sizes, too! I finally sorted them and put them into space saver bags.

    How about some Sunday Brunch for my new friends?

    Sunday-Brunch 

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  • Marple
    Marple Member Posts: 19,143
    edited February 2011
    Oh crap.......there goes my diet.Wink
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  • MissBianca
    MissBianca Member Posts: 2,193
    edited February 2011

    LOL! And there goes hope for the smaller sizes in the spacesaver bags!!!

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  • ATeamNana
    ATeamNana Member Posts: 464
    edited February 2011

    Dawne-Hope -I also feel like I am not very good at "saying" "posting" the right

    thing...I deal with it in everyday life as well...wish I were able to express myself better...

    so sorry about your mom...I lost my mom 6 years prior to my diagnosis...(she had breast cancer - five years later we lost her to lung cancer 3 months after my dad passed from lung cancer also..) hard dose to take...I'm full of insecurities....I pray daily for God to guide me to say the right things so I don't feel like I'm goony...

    Don- so sorry for your diagnosis as well...I'm sure it is very difficult for you since it is not as common for men.  Hope you find someone to connect to to help you through....

    Thanks everyone else for you openness and willingness to share ...it sure helps me deal with it all much easier....wish I could go to Vegas I would love to befriend someone.....Hope you all have a great time.

    Coolbreeze....I"m so glad you started this thread....it is so encouraging to read of others that I feel I have a "bond" with.

    I have a schnauzer/terrior mix dog...he's spoiled rotten!  But we still love him.

    Have a great day all...I'm so looking forward to spring....

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  • Estel
    Estel Member Posts: 3,353
    edited February 2011

     Denise - Thank you for your response.  I'm sorry about your losses.  It's so hard!  I'm usually a better written communicator than a verbal communicator ... but after my experience on these boards ...maybe not?!  :)

    MissBianca - Yummmmm!!!  I'm off to eat lunch now!

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  • MissBianca
    MissBianca Member Posts: 2,193
    edited February 2011

    Bon appetit! I hope it's fantastic.

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  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 1,727
    edited February 2011

    Juli50 - I also just RSVP'd to the Vegas trip. There are a couple of gals from my chemo thread who may be there, otherwise I don't know anyone - yet! I'll look for you!

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  • jorja61952
    jorja61952 Member Posts: 68
    edited February 2011

    Love this thread coolbreeze! I can so relate. Bco is such a hugely populated site and I have gotten frustrated and felt left out myself. It's too much of a reminder of high school for me :). But I have gotten so much out of reading all the posts. Thanks for bringing all us real or imagined "outsiders" together in one thread. Don all my best to you and I hope you find friends and comfort here too!

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  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze Member Posts: 4,668
    edited February 2011

    Well, MissBianca gave me a compliment and food at the same time.  How cool is that!  I can promise you though, that those teenage boys do not seek me out.  I'm a little old gray haired lady. (Never dyed it back after chemo)   However, my picture was painted by a Gizmodo artist and a couple of the kids found that very cool and it also non-plussed them that I actually knew what Gizmodo was.  :)

    I have two sons.  My oldest is 24 and my youngest is 14.  My oldest moved out, oh wow, 4 years ago now?  Well, I was pretty upset at that.  I was a single mother with him and raised him by myself until I married my husband (he was 7) and we were very close.  But, he is living with a lovely girl he's been dating for five years now.  They are just trying to get their finances in order before they get married.  He, like me, never went to college and times are hard.  He has a job but it's in a furniture store.  He wants to go to college to be a fireman.  

    My youngest is extremely bright. He has skipped a grade and accelerated a level and is in the International Baccalaurate program, which is all honors/AP style classes.  He'll have just turned 17 when he goes off to college and now I suddently realize agreeing to accellerate him  probably wasn't' good for my mental health.  His dream is to go to MIT or CalTech.  His senior friends have all been accepted into those schools so it's possible for him.  He'd better get scholarships though, and I told him - this is where cancer is going to come in handy!  He can tell a sad story of his mother battling cancer during his teen years and how he worked for the American Cancer Society (he did) to help.  :)  I'm evil, thinking of cancer as a way to get into college.

    What will I do when he's gone - my last baby?  Honestly, if I could have another one I would.  My 64 year old husband disagrees with me though. :)

    Don, I'm so sorry you got diagnosed with breast cancer.  It must be very hard on a man, because it's so unusual.  I do know a man - an online friend - who had it as well.  One thing I didn't know was that he has to take tamoxifen too.  I guess any estrogen is bad if you are ER+ and he was.  I didn't think men had enough estrogen to matter.

    One thing I miss on this forum, and maybe it's why it's harder to make personal connections, is the ability to quote and reply directly to something somebody said.   For people with chemo  brain, who have a hard time remembering screen names, it would be better to have that function, don't you think?

    I do miss travel.  I was pretty young - in my 20s - when I worked on the ships, but it was fun.  I always thought my life would be full of travel but it hasn't turned out that way.  I've never been to Europe or any place but the Carribean when I was young, and I've been to Mexico several times.  My dream is to go to Australia some day and I am thinking once my youngest is gone we'll do a bit more.  The last place I went was to Hawaii on my 50th birthday, so that was 2 years ago.

    I'm surprised to hear that women who didn't have chemo feel they don't belong.  That's awful.  You had your breasts cut off, or hollowed out, and you have the same fears as we all do.  You are one of us, never fear! 

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  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze Member Posts: 4,668
    edited February 2011

    Oh, I forgot!  Somebody asked me about reconstruction.

    I'm still  happy with it although once the swelling went down it didn't look as good.  I think I've decided not to get nipples.  No point, the two are never going to match.  But, in clothes, and even in low cut clothes, you can't tell and that's all I care about.

    I got injured, likely on the operating table, and will need a surgery to repair that.  It's a labrum injury in my shoulder.  I start PT for that March 3rd and will have surgery in April sometime if the PT doesn't help.   

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  • Marple
    Marple Member Posts: 19,143
    edited February 2011

    Gosh, you aren't the first one I've read about on these boards being injured during surgery.  What DO they do to us when we are on the table?

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  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 6,099
    edited February 2011

    CoolBreeze, one of my dream destinations is Australia, too.  (I have this nagging problem about wanting to understand what other people are saying, without needing to beg for help or be at their mercy.  It's a control thing.)  One of my May '08 chemo sisters lives in Australia, and I love her accent and sense of humor.  Pure Aussie.

    I hear you about the shoulder problem.  Mine developed 3 or 4 years pre-BC dx and it's on the non-mast side; but it never seems to go away completely.  PT didn't help me, even though I went to a big-league "sports medicine" place where they treat all the local college jocks.  I think mine was just a strain, or maybe even just bursitis, rather than a tear.  A cortisone shot helped tremendously, and then the hurt sort of went away on its own.  Funny thing, though -- my range-of-motion on that side never came back completely; and it isn't nearly as good as it is on my mastectomy side.  I sure hope they can figure out how to make yours all better.  Cancer sucks, but pain sucks, too.

    MissBianca, it's too late for brunch, but I might drop by your place anyway.  ruthbru said on the Arimidex thread that we should do crunchies to keep our menopause belly fat under control.  It looks to me like a lot of those food groups in your pics would be crunchy, yes?  :)

    BTW, ruthbru...  11 degrees below zero last evening?  Tell me that's in Celcius, not Fahrenheit, please?   Another reminder of why I moved south when I reached the age of self-determination.

    otter

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited February 2011

    Unfortunately we are talking Fahrenheit!!! But on the bright side, think about how many calories I burn off every day just from shivering!!!!!

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  • wenweb
    wenweb Member Posts: 1,107
    edited February 2011
    Tuesday is the start of the month of spring Cool
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  • Wonderland
    Wonderland Member Posts: 3,288
    edited February 2011

    Too cold Ruth! Today hit 79 degrees. Right now it's 75. Later this week the highs will be in the 50's. But for now has been really nice not to have to wear a coat or a sweater.

    Sorry about your shoulder pain, CB. Hope PT helps.

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  • bevin
    bevin Member Posts: 1,902
    edited February 2011

    HI CoolBreeze - Love this thread and I can totally understand your feelings. I think you sound like a great friend to have.

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