Anybody wanna be my friend?

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2011

    I have been on here for a while. I haven't connected with too many people either. This site has been great because I learned here that most of what I was experencing was felt by others too. I wasn't alone. I enjoying reading different threads but rarely post. I mostly play games.

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  • wenweb
    wenweb Member Posts: 1,107
    edited February 2011

    Ann and everyone  I also identify with what you bring to this thread.  I joined in Sept (I think, can't see it now) and quickly found out that it can be cruel at times.  I was initially put off because someone made fun of me for recommending flaxseed oil for dry eyes.  I did  not know that many oncs don't want their pts to take it due to a possible estrogen connection.  It made me feel like I was in school again because (as someone else mentioned) I was always the last one picked on the playground :>(   That said, I have learned a lot.

    I'm not supposed to drink much (according to my onc), so I don't belong on that thread, don't like to cook, and I'm not a brawler, no one seems to remember me either. I don't get many responses to my comments, whereas I feel that just out pure of politeness that I should respond to anyone who makes a comment about something I have said.

    All in all I am mainly a watcher, and it's been pretty interesting this past week I have to say.  I would love to be your friend, along with everyone here.  

    wendy 

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  • NatureGrrl
    NatureGrrl Member Posts: 1,367
    edited February 2011

    Wow, 17 hours ago and look at all the replies, almost as many as if you'd been a troll! Laughing

    I'm here for friendship! 

    I've gotten hooked on a couple of threads:  the exercise thread ("Let's post our daily exercise") and a "What's for dinner" thread (even though what I have for dinner is cereal as often as not).  If you're exercising or trying to or even thinging about it, the exercise thread is fantastic.  No arguments, just support and friendship. No particular stage or dx, it's all over the map.  I jumped in the middle of that one and it was hard at first but after I got to know people it was really fun, and I consider those women friends.  New people are always joining.  The dinner thread gets lots of people, too, some regular and some not, so if you like to cook you might check that out.

    Otherwise, I just leap around (or some days or weeks, avoid cancer topics altogether, denial is my favorite mechanism!).  

    Let's have a get-acquainted party :) 

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  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze Member Posts: 4,668
    edited February 2011

    I'm so pleased at this thread!  I'm glad what I said touched a nerve with others too.  Of course, it wasn't meant as a complaint or a negative - I never felt that anybody was deliberately slighting me or anything like that.  But, just that I seemed to be a drift in a big lonely sea of words.

    I love dogs too - I have a greyhound.   I took him to work today - the kids are off this week and so are all the teachers. (I'm the principal's secretary in a high school) He was very nice and calm and then I made a phone call and he disappeared.  I called him and he came and I thought nothing of it.  Later, I walked down the hall and a night custodian (one I'd never met) was cleaning up - you guessed it - dog poop!  I was so embarrassed.  My dog doesn't do that inside, maybe he didn't recognize that such a big place WAS inside.  The custodian was very kind, and I owe him one, he wasn't expecting a Take your Dog to Work day..

    I'm getting a new greyhound - maybe two, next month, fresh off the track.  They are wash-outs - so absolutely perfect for me.   I may need shoulder surgery and it'lll be nice to have dogs that already know how to walk on a lead.

    Michelle, it's nice to know I have a stalker!  :) Wendy, I hadn't heard that about flaxseed oil.  I didn't realize that there was any connection to estrogen - I thought it was just good for you.  I'll check into it as I'm trying to eat healthier and was going to add flax to my diet.

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  • wenweb
    wenweb Member Posts: 1,107
    edited February 2011

    Ann  I love greyhounds!!  It would be my dog of choice if I were to have a dog.  Right now we choose to be dogless.  It's just easier.

    The flaxseed is a controversial topic even with the oncs as are some other supplements as well as some foods.  My onc didn't tell me not to take it, so I have chosen to continue, but have added fish oil so that I'm not taking as much.  

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  • YramAL
    YramAL Member Posts: 1,651
    edited February 2011

    Ann-That's funny about your dog pooping at school. I took our dog to school one day and she decided to take a pee right in front of the principal's office just as I was introducing her to the principal. I, too, thought maybe she was confused over whether that big place was inside or outside. Quite a debut in any case.

    Mary 

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  • YramAL
    YramAL Member Posts: 1,651
    edited February 2011

    See? I killed the thread......

    Mary 

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  • MissBianca
    MissBianca Member Posts: 2,193
    edited February 2011

    I'm up unusually late for myself, and am so glad I discovered this thread. Coolbreeze, I wanna be your friend! I always loved the girls who could just say that, and meant it.I was always a lot more shy than that.

    Coonie is a special sweetheart, and is so warm and welcoming.

    Mary and Ann, you can tell me funny poop and pee stories anytime!

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  • debbie6122
    debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
    edited February 2011

    Ann, funny story about the poop haha!

    susangarden- What adorable dogs.makes me miss mine.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2011

    .

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  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze Member Posts: 4,668
    edited February 2011

    I guess this isn't an anniversary you say congratulations about, it it?  I am a uni - had mine october 09.  I keep thinking I'll end up feeling horribly upset about it but I don't.  I wish this had not happened but as shallow as the saying "It is what it is" is......well, that's my philosophy.  I try not to look back.  The girls look okay in clothes and my husband is accepting so that's all I need.  If I was a single gal it'd be a lot harder.

    SeaFoobs, my mom died a few weeks ago.  We were less than close - she was an alcoholic - a mean one - and died of cirrhosis.  I don't miss her but it was a hard time while she was dying.  Dysfunctional families don't get any more functional during times of great stress, let me tell you.I couldn't get to where the family was because my shoulder injury won't allow me to drive 300 miles.  I was told not to come and then told to come RIGHT NOW!!! and then angered everybody when I couldn't.  My dad lives up in snow country and I have not been able to get up to see him but once  due to the weather.  He's very lonely and no doubt drinkiing way too much himself.  (I joke about alcohol but rarely driink any in real life - a beer at a party is all).  

    So, there you go my new girlfriends, I shared a family tragedy with you. You'd think I'd want to write a book about breast cancer, considering my blog, but I actually want to write one about alcoholism.  I can't think of what to say though, so the Great American Novel will remain unwritten.

    Does anybody have a treadmill?  I have hit the one year mark since chemo took away my periods and I guess I am in full menopause.  I've always been super skinny, you hate me kind of girl, but my waist is thickening up and my clothes are getting tight.  I have never exercised in my life. Should I buy a treadmill or will it end up being an expensive clothes hanger? Don't tell me to go outside and walk or anything cuz that ain't happening.  Outside is full of bugs.

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  • Leslie1962
    Leslie1962 Member Posts: 233
    edited February 2011

    Coolbreeze, I can so relate to your initial comments about not quite fitting anywhere on this site. I do lurk in different areas and have made comments here and there but that is about it. I was diagnosed less than one month after you. Been through a lot like we all have. If this thread keeps going I will stay here and call this my new "home." Hope to have lots of conversation with all these new friends!

    So .....

    Anyone here have neuropathy of the feet? What kind of exercising do you do? My feet don't let me walk too far and I was hoping they would be feeling better since being off chemo since April 2010.

    Does anyone like Italian cooking? I am looking for some good new recipies to try. Please share if you have a special dish you like to cook. I definately need to spice up our usual routine of food selection at my house.

    Have a great weekend everyone!

    ~ Leslie

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  • Letlet
    Letlet Member Posts: 1,053
    edited February 2011

    Hey CoolBreeze, I am a uni too and so far I don't regret my decision and hopefully I wont. Reading your post I guess my alcohol jokes are in poor taste, sorry :(

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  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 6,099
    edited February 2011

    Hi, CoolBreeze -- ... otter here.

    I forgot you are in Sacramento. That makes your screen name pretty ironic, eh? I've been in Sacramento twice, I think, on the way to Davis.  I don't recall the first visit, but the second time was in early June awhile ago and the temp was 106˚.  Even so, there were hoards of locals riding around the Davis campus on bicycles.  All I wanted to do was sit in front of the air conditioner and sip sweet tea... which, of course, I coudn't find.

    Re:  "Dysfunctional families don't get any more functional during times of great stress...".  Wow, is that ever a fact!  No alcoholism in my family, but it's surprising that there isn't.  I cruise through the "Dumb things..." thread regularly, but can't bring myself to post what I'd like to say there.  Well, I actually have posted stuff, but then my conscience makes me go back and delete it.  I second-guess myself a lot.  I can't say "It is what it is," because one member of my borderline dysfunctional family uses that as her motto, .... at least, when she's not saying, "The hits just keep on coming."  I just keep trying to remind myself that I should just play the hand I'm dealt.  Okay, enough with the clichés.

    I do not have a treadmill, but I did buy an elliptical machine when I noticed that same suspicious bulging at my waistline.  It really p*ssed me off, because I've always had a flat stomach and narrow waist even if everything else was going to h*ll.  Now, though, my tummy pooches out and I keep tugging at my belt like an old geezer.  I hate it.  Isn't there something I can paint on there, to make the fat melt away?  Oh, yeah... the elliptical machine.  Mine is in a never-used hallway (bad planning when we built the house), but at least it's convenient.  Now if I could just get on it every day for half an hour...  Is there a prescription for that?

    Anyway, I've been wanting to respond to your plea, 'cause it is hard for me to make friends.  Locally, I am "hard to get to know".  Still, I do have some good friends I've met through these boards (my May '08 chemo sisters plus a few others), and FB has allowed me to reconnect with long-lost cousins and beloved friends from college.  You have a great blog -- any connections there?

    OTOH, it looks like you could use this thread as a starting point.  It just might evolve into the close-knit community others have on the boards.

    Hugs....

    otter

    P.S.:  I will send you PM's containing hollow threats, and I will go out of my way to report your posts unnecessarily, if you think it would make you feel better.  I doubt it would.  I can say, though, that I think you are funny.  :)

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited February 2011

    I have a treadmil and eliptical and a recumbant bike.  Don't hate me!  I hate exercising too.  My DH  set them all up in the basement for me, right in front of a TV and IPOD docking station so I can crank music.  It is SOOOOO Boring to exercise but if I can get hooked on a half hour show, the half hour goes by fast.  I do walk outside as much as possible, that's my passion. But living in MA with all this snow, I really need indoor exercise equipment too. Good luck.

    LOL on Mary, I think, who thought she killed the thread.  Too funny!!

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  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze Member Posts: 4,668
    edited February 2011

    Alcohol jokes are perfectly fine with me.  I don't take any offense at all.  I was a bartender for ten years! :)  I'm nearly impossible to offend, but on the other side of that, I'm always surprised when others are offended by things I say.  I tend to be blunt but never mean on purpose.

    Anyway, booze is funny, when it doesn't kill you, kind of like cancer.  :)  I like martinis and I allow myself one each year on my birthday.

    Otter, you are famous around here, what are you talking about?  As far as Sacramento and the heat, it's very true.  But, we do have the Delta Breeze that comes up at night.  No matter how hot it gets, it cools down in the evening.   Which is why I adore Phoenix - that town stays hot, the way I like it.

    I want you to be my friend so I won't tell you iced tea isn't supposed to have sugar in it.

    For all his lifetime of boozing, my dad works out every single day.  He's 80 now.  He goes to the gym.  I guess it's time to emulate him, at least part-way.  I don't want to go to a gym but I need to move.  I guess I'll look for a treadmill or bike with a little spot for my iPad.  I can't watch a game while I get some cardio.   I would lift weights if I didn't have this shoulder problem.  Being able to sit down and exercise sounds like my kind of exercise.

    I did meet one women from the blog I'm friends with.  And, one I was beginning to be friends with but I don't know what happened with that?  I guess I should contact her again.  We probably just got busy. 

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  • wenweb
    wenweb Member Posts: 1,107
    edited February 2011

    Same with me and my treadmill/eliptical.  In the basement smack dab in front of the TV, but unless there is something that holds my attention, it's very difficult to stay focused in order to stay on.  I am very grateful to have them since I live in New England, but I'd rather be outside.  It's too easy to get off of the treadmill, but if I'm out for a run I have to keep going until I get home!!

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited February 2011

    Wenweb, when the weather improves and the snow melts, we can walk outside together!

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  • jacksnana
    jacksnana Member Posts: 168
    edited February 2011

    Hi Cool Breeze and everybody,

    This is such a great thread, I have felt exactly the same way that many of you have expressed.  There are so many threads all the time that it's easy for some to slip through the cracks pretty quickly. I lurk a lot (actually Cool Breeze, besides the fact that you are witty and a great writer, you have the same diagnosis as I do so I have actually stalked you a bit!!). I'm always touched when someone responds to a thread because of a question or concern I have had. I even got a PM from a gal who remembered me from a single post on the Book Lover's thread!  Those things mean a lot.  There are some great gals on here in this place none of us wants to be.  Thanks for starting this,  Like Miss Bianca, I've always admired the girls who could just come out and say 'I wanna be your friend!'  Who knew there were so many of us feeling this same way!

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  • ATeamNana
    ATeamNana Member Posts: 464
    edited February 2011

    Just a quick hi to everyone.....

    I think it was Leslie asking about neuropathy...my toes are still numb and my last chemo was December 09  I had lumpectomy in Jan 2010 and then 35 rads finished in April 2010. (They did my chemo before surgery to reduce the cancer(TN with 93% growth rate) which worked Im thankful to say)

    I still have mouth issues...burning lips and tongue..it comes and goes..i attribute it to nerve issues???

    Other than that I'm doing great...small price to pay to be rid of the cancer....

    Love reading and connecting on here and feeling like I have cyber friends who understand ....

    have a great evening everyone...  Denise

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  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze Member Posts: 4,668
    edited February 2011

    Denise, et al.  I don't know if this works post-chemo but you might try l-glutamine.  It can't hurt you anyway.

    I was getting pretty bad neuropathy half way through chemo - so much so my doctor swtiched me from taxotere to taxol.  At the same time, I started taking l-glutamine -a day before, the day of and the day after chemo.  It disappeared.

    This isn't just my fancy, there have been preliminary clinical trials that shows it helps prevent neuropathy,   Body builders use it for something or other so it's easy to find.

    It might be worth a shot although I don't know if it can be helpful post-chemo..  B-12 too is suposed to be good for nerve-damage.  When my tongue was damaged in a dental treatment the dentist suggested I try it.  

    I'm not a health nut, I promise.  I also don't think people should take stuff without discussing it with their doctors but some of these things only hurt your pocketbook.  :)

    I don't have a basement.  I have a bedroom, so whatever I get, it has to fit my bedroom decor. Which right now consists mostly of clothes on the chair, wigs still perched on the dresser, boxes on the floor for cleaning out closets (a project I planned months ago when I thought I'd be healthy) and a bed that hasn't been made in two years. I thought I'd be healthy and functioning by now. That's what I get for thinking!  I'll never do that again!

    The sun is out here in California although it's quite cold.  The plants started budding and then we had a ferocious hail storm.  I hope it didn't knock too many blossoms off the trees.

    Where are you all from?  I grew up here in Sacramento.  I moved away in my younger years - lived a few years in Lake Tahoe, had a job on a cruise ship and then ended up living in Florida, but I came back.  My dream is to move to Hawaii but that's probably not going to happen - it'd be silly to go somewhere even more expensive than CA,  so my second choice is Phoenix AZ.   Beautiful.  My youngest son will be off to college in a mere 3 1/2 years and assuming I don't turn helicopter and move into the dorms with him, I will probably start looking into retirement areas. 

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  • wenweb
    wenweb Member Posts: 1,107
    edited February 2011

    makraz-deal!! Where do you live in MA?  I am on the Cape.

    CoolBreeze-I have spent most of my life in the east from Buffalo to Baltimore and in between.  Currently we live on Cape Cod which is (mostly) heavenly.  We did live in the San Francisco Bay area for 10 years and that's where our 3 children are.  We do lots of coast to coast trips, although I like you have not snapped out of my cancer funk and haven't been feeling very social even with my family sad to say.  I think it's the Arimidex :>(

    Denise-I hope that you have a nice evening as well!! 

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  • ATeamNana
    ATeamNana Member Posts: 464
    edited February 2011

    I live in Illinois near St. Louis, MO.

    I take B-Complex (was on B-12 but doctor said switch to B-Complex) and Vitamin D I have not tried the Glutimine but I may as well give it a try. I do believe the B vitiman has helped....and job change back in August which drastically reduced my stress levels....Thanks for the tip!

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  • slinky
    slinky Member Posts: 397
    edited February 2011

    Coolbreeze, I can understand alcholism and the effect it has on a family.  My best friend was an alcoholic (a functional, closet one).  After 20-30 years of chronic drinking after work, her adult son did an intervention.  That was five years ago and she has been clean and sober.  Granted, her relationship with her son is strained because of the past, but I am her "outside family" and have known her for over 20 years - I didn't agree with her drinking, but I was highly concerned about it and did speak candidly to her son when he called right before the intervention.  I love her so much more now that she is sober!

    I own a treadmill, but I am not quite 4 weeks post BMX - I am still not feeling completely good.  My plan is to start slowly next week with walking on the treadmill.  Like you, I hate outdoor activity unless it is at least 80 degrees out (which it never is in Northern Cal).  I know that I have a ton of clothes that I would hate to outgrow, so I will try my best to maintain.  I know, easier said than done!

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  • debbie6122
    debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
    edited February 2011

    I have a treadmill and i love it, it is in front of my tv so the time goes by fast while watching my favorite soaps and shows. I dont like to excersise either, what i find helpful is i say i will only do 10 minutes and before i know it i have done 30 minutes- good choice IMHO!

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited February 2011

    LOVE the cape!  My parents have a house there.  I am close to Gilette Stadium.  I take lots of walks on Sandy Neck Beach in Sandwich! 

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  • MissBianca
    MissBianca Member Posts: 2,193
    edited February 2011

    Coolbreeze, I took a peek at your blog. You are a pretty lady, and the high school boys must find any excuse to come visit the school office! You have lived in various states like myself. I am originally from Southern Ca, moved to Phoenix after the Northridge earthquake, and moved back after some time.  I also tried Las Vegas, and have been out in Tennessee for 4 years now. We are on the move again, and it will be Florida next. I guess you could say I like to travel...the slow way! I am also in love with Hawaii, so that dream we have in common. I could probably help if you had any questions about Phoenix. I lived there for 5 years.

    I would imagine it would be fun working on a cruise ship. Do you miss the travel?

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  • don23
    don23 Member Posts: 512
    edited February 2011

    If you listen to music while you're walking/running on the treadmill it goes by faster. I use my IPOD and put the TV on for something to look at while I'm on it.

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  • mradf
    mradf Member Posts: 398
    edited February 2011

    A most excellent thread you started here, CoolBreeze. 

    Here is a little about me:

    I gambled that bi-lat mx would get me out of chemo - and that gamble paid off - so I've never felt "sick enough" to really belong here (as if sacrificing such a meaningful part of my body in the name of survival is not "sick enough").   My BC nurse tells me it's not unusual for us non-chemo women to feel that way. My sister went through just about every treatment known to medicine and lost her fight in June.  My genetic counselors find our family history "interesting" enough to have me BART tested just this past week.  On Friday, I will (finally) have nipple reconstruction, which is the beginning of the end of my great, big, long, complicated, (but worth it),  reconstruction journey. 

    I'm a life-long Long Islander, long time married, with two teenagers.  First is going to college in the fall.  The idea of that coupled with the end of surgeries is making feel a bit unmoored.  Whatever will I structure my life around - besides, of course, the husband, the son, the mother and the mother in law, the one brother and the three other sisters, the house, the job, the dog, the laundry, the bills, the weather...

    I want to be friends, too!

    Be well,

    Maria

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  • Estel
    Estel Member Posts: 3,353
    edited February 2011

    I'll be your friend, too.

    One thing I didn't count on was the loneliness is this bc journey.  I lost my mom to bc shortly after my diagnosis.  I think that has a huge part to play in the loneliness.  She was my best friend.  I could use a friend right now!  :)

    It may just be my insecurity but I feel when I post in other places I either say the 'wrong' thing, the 'stupid' thing or the 'overlooked' thing.  I've thought more than once that maybe I shouldn't post anymore.

    I checked out your blog and I love the recent pic of the cake!  It made me laugh out loud!  HA!  Yes, can so relate.

    Had my DMX 'anniversay' yesterday.  It was tough.  I've cried many tears.  Ugh!  When is it 'over?'  At least this is the last of first anniveraries.  I'm hoping the 2,3,4,5.... are easier than the first.

    I lived in MA for five years on the north shore.  Got so tired of shoveling snow I moved back to the heartland.  I do miss the ocean, though.

    My brother is an alcoholic and I so get it that stressful situations make things worse.  Having to distance myself from some family members right now.  Families!  :)

    I remember you, Coolbreeze, from the reconstruction threads.  Thank you for starting this one.  I'd love to be your friend!

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