Troll psychology

Clari, that's a very good distinction too; the needy people (Beesie type2) who aren't deliberately out to cause trouble but their presentations could scare newbies. If anything I feel we need to not ignore this character, not leave the post to stand unchallenged, but to voice the calming influence and without belittling that the situation feels bad to them, to suggest that if anyone has that same situation, it's not so bad as it's been made to sound.

Athena, what a superb creation! LOL! Its wonderful.

Jancie, I hope you don't feel my explorations of what happened are a waste of time - i at least am finding it useful to learn more about how these boards work and how I can learn not to annoy so many of you! Every gathering of people, virtual or IRL, has its own rules written or not, explicit or hidden and the better known these are the better the sites can function IMHO. This from someone who STILL doesn't understand "Mornington Crescent." (new thread, please!)

Seafoobs, I started this thread on Tuesday evening, based on another thread started by a distressed newbie whose initial post provoked a very strong reaction, some responding directly to her point of view which was interestingly expressed and seems in hindsight to have been way out of character, and inflamed by others reactions who thought she really could not be serious and thought she was therefore a fraud just out to provoke. It was like watching a pan of milk boil over. The thread was removed at her request, and she has made a new start and been welcomed into our community, and I started here to explore with more experienced members about more general issues, not relating to this particular poster, but more to the hunting-cry of "Troll", how to recognise and deal with, and more general issues about how and why people use internet information/support forums, and those who damage them by abuse. It's been very helpful for me to do this, have recieved many great replies and I hope nobody is feeling that I am here to challenge their posts, tbh I have no clear recollection who wrote what in any case.

"I disagree with what you say, but I will defend your right to say it"  i think this if from Voltaire.

Im trying out a new technique to reduce the likelihood of cross-posting too, using a second window to check last developments just before I hit Submit on the new-post window. This after I started a reply halfway down page 4 with "Absolutely..." and when i posted it, then discovered an intervening post had arrived from otter, sounded like I was being really mean to her until I went back and edited my post, adding the previous name, Marie, for clarity. If you read my reply without the word Marie it sounds a whole lot different and not to my credit. I wonder how often that happens on these fast-moving threads?

Iodine, I'm impressed that you have been on the forum nine years That is perseverance! I haven't tried all the buttons yet, in fact I only just learnt about the "ignore" function from this thread. i could envisage reporting a really aggressive post, but i don't think I would feel it my place to attempt to delete someone else's work, i think that's the moderator's job. Lucky Melissa!

and Flash, your perseverance through what must have been pretty horrible too, thanks for telling us about that and how you sorted it out. The real time element on Chat must make things easier. 

Seafoobs Im sorry to hear we have lost some posters over this. We are a really good mix and everyone has something unique to bring - even if it is just the provocative to goad us to think!!

I'm sorry you don't feel well supported, Bec. You're right, that's much more important than arguing about deletions and suspensions. I looked your profile and do you seem to have had a lot problems with your recon, it did all seem quite dramatic to me. (im a total newbie to having surgery and went for the shortest simplest procedure that would cut out the cancer, although a mastectomy with nodes isn't the minor surgery one would like to start with) Recently you seem to have been on the Recon area and the Atheists thread, and as neither of those apply for me, i dont think we've met. My own comfort areas are surgery, hormones and alternatives including exercise, and lymphoedema, and i'm guessing (hoping!) none of these affect you. But i'm surprised there wasn't a better response about the recon because it always seems to be a busy zone. I hope the infection has been clearing and you're feeling better.