BRCA+ friend with severe depression - please help

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AmyIsStrong
AmyIsStrong Member Posts: 1,755
edited June 2014 in High Risk for Breast Cancer

NOTE: I posted this in the Anxiety/Depression area and was advised to repost it here. Thank you!

Ladies- after 2 years dealing with bc and many many posts, this is actually the very first thread I have started myself. And it isn't even about me! I hope you can help me and give some advice/direction.

I have a friend who is 55. We used to work together- she was a project manager, smart, funny, successful, energetic, etc. She always had a minor problem with depression/anxiety but it was manageable.

A few years ago her mom was dx with ovarian cancer in her 70s. (she is doing quite well). She tested BRCA+, so the 3 daughters were tested, and 2 were positive, including my friend. She had a complete hysterectomy (or whatever it's called when they take ovaries, uterus, & everything).

So a few days ago, I gave her a call, as we have fallen out of touch. I knew she had some severe stress at work and had taken short term disability for depression. Well, I was horrified when I spoke to her. She said she is doing terribly - actually she said "Some days are better than others" but it SOUNDED terrible to me! She said she is severely depressed, sleeps all the time, has to leave the house during the day to be around people (library, Starbucks) because she is afraid she will harm herself if she is alone! Her husband is a successful psychologist (works with children), and she is being treated by a psychiatrist, but (predictably) it is mostly all about tweaking the meds, trying different ones, etc.

She said her #1 problem is that she cannot think clearly - her mind is in a fog, she can't rememeber anything, she can't read or cook or do simple tasks. This does not sound like depression to me! She is home alone all day, and OF COURSE that is sad and depressing. She has gained weight because all she has to do is eat.

It was very very upsetting to me to hear my formerly strong, competent friend talk this way.

So my question is - does this sound like depression to you, OR could some of it be a result of the hysterectomy and being in surgi-pause? Could her hormones be out of balance and that is why she can't think clearly? Could she be overmedicated and taht's why she is sleeping all the time?

I encouraged her to research 'hormone imbalance' online to see if this mental stuff (plus severe mood swings she mentioned also) could be a result of the hysterectomy. The psychiatrist just keeps trying different SSRIs, or different combinations.

Also, do you thinkn I should post this in the BRCA section or the hormonals section? I really want to give her some encouragement or something else to try. It was extremely upsetting to hear her this way.

(And just fyi, none of it had anything to do with the BRCA dx. She doesn't seem particularly concerned about that.)

Thank you so much to anyone who responds. I know this is an unusual question, but I have ultimate faith in the BCO sisters!

Thanks

Amy

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Comments

  • Alyad
    Alyad Member Posts: 817
    edited January 2011

    I think she's got something going on neurochemically- yanking out the ovaries can upset all sorts of things. With the level of severity of problems- I don't think she's just feeling blue. With her history of depression, she might already have an imbalance in her system and the ooph just made it that much worse. I feel SSRI's can only do so much and may make the problem worse in some cases. I take Wellbutrin (which is a Dopamine SRI). It works better for me - cause it gives me some energy, I think what I have always thought is depression, I'm just so damn tired! - I am still doing research - but I think I have an adrenal imbalance. This is the best website I have found about this:

    http://www.drlam.com/articles/ovarian_adrenal_thyroid.asp

    One of the hardest things in treating this- there is no pill you take or reliable blood test you can say- YES- this is what I have. Because of this, conventional medicine doesn't recognize it as a disorder. On that website there are guidelines to follow to help get better. But its not something that can be fixed overnight.

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  • cathmg
    cathmg Member Posts: 278
    edited January 2011

    Hi Amy,

    I had a clinical depression after diagnosis and treatment, and experienced some of the things you describe: couldn't read (and I read 3 books a week normally), couldn't cook, couldn't seem to do simple tasks. I felt like I needed to have my family around me, and felt very lost when alone. I did have thoughts of hurting myself. Fortunately, medications worked for me, along with seeing a therapist and psychiatrist. However, it took months to come out of.

    I think you're doing the best thing you can by checking on her and letting her share what's going on. The worst was when people disappeared because they couldn't handle the severity of my depression.

    I hope it would help your friend to share that I went through something similar, and now I am not on any medication, and am back to work, going to classes, and very busy and engaged.

    All the best to you and your friend,

    Cat

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  • Alyad
    Alyad Member Posts: 817
    edited January 2011

    I agree that one of the best things you can do for your friend is let her know you care- check in on her regularly and accept her even tho she's not much fun to be around- depression can be so isolating.

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  • Soccermom4force
    Soccermom4force Member Posts: 631
    edited January 2011

    Amy, is there a Cancer Support Community (merger of Gildas Clubs and the Wellness Community) nearby ? They typically have Cancer saavy mental health specialists on staff.

    I volunteer for them locally and have been very impressed with their ongoing one on one and group support gatherings..

    YOU are a very good person and she needs you in her life,

    Warmly,Marcia

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  • carcharm
    carcharm Member Posts: 486
    edited January 2011

    When you get thrown into sudden menopause your life changes forever. The fog thing makes me think it's a hormone problem. I'm not sure where you live but there is a great women's doctor who mixes traditional and nontraditional methods of care for perimenopausal/menopausal women at the Cleveland Clinic. Dr. Holly Thacker. She does group office visits where women get together and discuss their issues and what works and what doesn't. Everyone benefits from it. Maybe you could call her office and see if there is another physician who practices the same way she does in your area or make a special trip out of it and come see her here in Cleveland Ohio.

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  • RachelKa
    RachelKa Member Posts: 174
    edited February 2011

    Amy

    Depression most defintely can affect your concentration and overall cognition - it' a chemical, neurological disorder. But if it gets real bad, it can be other things too, including tied to the hysterecomy. I've stuggled with depression most of my life. The odd thing is, when I was dx with breast cancer, it disappeared. It's not just related to my outlook, I  can tell by the way my body feels.

    What works for one person may not for another, but for me it's helped to get off my mood stabilizer and begin Paxil which works as both an antianxiety and anti-depressant. I'm also drinking lots of green tea decaffeinated with effervesence to retain the antioxidants to hopefully stave off recurrence. I see an herbologist who I am hoping is helping me to stave off recurrence with the Reishi mushroom caps which also help with fatigue and mood. I'd recommend your friend gets a complete physical and sees an herbologist or naturopath to learn what would be the best treatment in her case. Traditional meds have done little for me. I dont know a lot about the following alternatives, but I'm sharing them with you so you or your friend can research them; they come from someone I know who heavily researches alternative medicine.

    If the antidpressants aren't working here are things to research:

    http://www.denvernaturopathic.com/VitaminDandMood.htm


    www.lef.org/protocols/emotional_health/depression_01.htm

    http://orthomolecular.org/library/articles/ocdepression.shtml

    (Hugh Riordan, M.D.)

    www.home-remedies-for-you.com/remedy/Depression.html

    http://www.webspawner.com/users/ecsdepressiontx/index.html (Edgar Cayce remedies)

     All the best to you and your friend and her family.

    Rachel

    Also if you get a chance, would you check out my website - it's more cancer-related info - all informational, feel-good content.I got tired of reading the scary stuff.

    www.1UpOnCancer.com

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