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  • jan508
    jan508 Member Posts: 1,330
    edited February 2011

    Hi All: I'm getting a little concerned.

    You can see I am a stage 2 grade 2 cancer and I've had a DMX with T/E's (waiting for exchange) and my oncotype was 19 and mammoprint 'low risk'. I'm currently taking 20mg Tamoxifen for 5 yrs. I didn't need chemo or rads.

    I have this feeling of dread like I'm going to have a recurrence...I drink a glass of wine with dinner and also dring organic milk so I keep thinking I need to give up both of these. I've already switched all my creams and shampoo to non paraben. 

     My recurrence rate is 12% based on my stats.

    Am I going nuts...or will this all settle down in my mind in time?

    Any advice on how to handle this?

    Thanks for listening

    Jan

  • Claire_in_Seattle
    Claire_in_Seattle Member Posts: 4,570
    edited February 2011

    O Jan......normal yes, helpful no.  The big ones, assuming you did the recommended treatment, are: exercise, maintaining a healthy weight, and believe it or not Aspirin.

    I know they are all over us about alcohol, but I decided that for me, wine is too much a pleasure to give it up.  The studies I have seen also didn't compare ER+ women on estrogen therapy to those who didn't have it.

    Exercise has the added benefit of helping me think straight.

    I asked the diet question directly and in the Nurses Health Study, they were unable to isolate diet as a separate category in BC survival.  Exercise was the one that stood out, although the two may be highly correlated.

    So getting my tail out the door is the important one.  Then I focus on getting enough fruits and veggies into my diet, and eating more or less what I want otherwise.  I would not want to give up milk, cheese, butter or cream. 

    Otherwise, I try to appreciate all the wonderful things I have in my life.  I am assuming I am cured, although certainly need to be watchful.

    Because if you obsess, you are not helping the cause.  I am having wine with dinner (lots of fruits and veggies) and focusing on training for upcoming endurance events.  How I want to play this game. - Claire

  • jan508
    jan508 Member Posts: 1,330
    edited February 2011

    Claire:

    Thanks for  answering.  I do exercise (almost daily at the gym) but I'm also gaining wait from Tamoxifen..I need to settle down I know.

    I agree, everthing in moderation and I need to really add alot more fruit.  Winter fruit is terrible-can't wait til farmers market opens here in March.

    I am appreciative and I know I should be more positive, which I usually am...just having a down day and reading too much, I guess.

    Thanks!Jan

  • Claire_in_Seattle
    Claire_in_Seattle Member Posts: 4,570
    edited February 2011

    Jan....frozen berries.  We have wonderful winter pears, apples, and of course citrus.

    I get outside as need the sun (?), air, and scenery to open up my mind.  And do things like laugh at the ducks.

    I can be equally guilty of reading too much. - Claire

  • Claire_in_Seattle
    Claire_in_Seattle Member Posts: 4,570
    edited February 2011

    One more thought Jan.  Are you doing weight training?  Because we need to keep our muscle tone primo.

    I do a weights/crunches routine every week day.  Something to check into. - Claire

  • shells43
    shells43 Member Posts: 1,022
    edited February 2011

    Yeah for you GrannyD! I know it was a difficult decision for you to make, taking rads, so I'm proud of you for seeing it through. I hope your skin is holidng up - keep putting on aloe and aquaphor for the next 3 weeks at least, and keep drinking water. I don't know why this thread is so quiet, I guess we are are enjoying other topics?

    Jan - I think your feelings are pretty normal. I'm in the same boat with worrying about a recurrence, especially since I got pulled in for extra mammo pics, and then an ultrasound and MRI at my first mammo post-dx last month. Everything turned out fine, but wow, it was terrifying. I had been really low key before that. Now I am more worried, but keep making an effort not to think about it. I don't think worrying is good for the body, and in the end, we can only control a few factors anyway. Let's just think about all of the good things we can look forward to in 2011!

    Hugs to all the Stage 2 sistas!

  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 5,758
    edited February 2011

    Jan: I agree, the worry is always in the back of my mind.  Tamox gives me anxiety which makes me worry all the more.  It can be a vicious cycle and if you give into it you can make yourself crazy.  I just try to make me think of something else.

    grannydukes:  Congrats on getting through this!

    I don't know if we are just not so chatty on this thread or what the problem is.  I'm sure there are other Stage II gals out there who would like to join us as well.  If you run into them on other threads, invite them in!

  • LadyinBama
    LadyinBama Member Posts: 1,132
    edited February 2011

    Jan: I eat frozen or canned fruit in winter. I'm also anxiously awaiting Spring and Summer with some decent fruits/veggies. On the anxiety, I think there would be something wrong if we didn't have anxiety! My onc gave me Effexor for hot flashes, and my anxiety and depression are both better since I've been taking it.

  • jan508
    jan508 Member Posts: 1,330
    edited February 2011

    Thanks for your replies Ladies:  I'm glad to know its normal to have these feelings!

    God Bless

    Jan

  • Bold
    Bold Member Posts: 692
    edited February 2011

    Jan:

    Just spotted your post. I go to Kristi Funk. She is my Breast Surgeon. She did Sheryl Crow. Malissa Etheridge and Christina Applegate. She is on the Doctors. And has been on Opra and Dr. Oz. The incredible words of wisdom that she gives have been a great relieve to my nervous system.

    She say's to drink 3 glasses of green tea a day and take Advil once a week. This formula will reduce the chances for primary and secondary breast cancer (as well as other cancers) by 50%. WOW huh? So if you were 12% that would make it 6%. Which if you think about it is sooooo small. Hope this helps.

    In peace and beauty.

  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited February 2011
    Well im done.well done too.thank GOD its over.Who ever said rads was a walk in the park wellllll not exactly.I just want my old life back.will i get it.no never.will i worry????yes always.this is the gift that keeps on giving.I should be jumping for joy...finished rads. NED> but im still in pain and still scared.I hate this gloom and doom.What in the world is wrong with me now??????
  • shells43
    shells43 Member Posts: 1,022
    edited February 2011

    Woo Hoo GrannyD!!!!

  • jancie
    jancie Member Posts: 2,631
    edited February 2011

    Granny - as time goes on you will find a new normal life.  You have just finished treatments and sometimes there is a small let down - when we are in treatment we know we are actively killing the cancer.  Once treatments stops we think "geez...no longer actively killing it so is it going to come back?"

    I finished my treatments Sept 2009.  I am in a new place now with my life.  Yes, the nagging thoughts of reoccurence sets in here and there but not on a daily basis.  I still have major anxiety issues related to the cancer and scans and other things that never gave me anxiety attacks before.  I know I will never be the same person again but I am getting to a place where I am finding peace within myself but it took a LONG TIME for that to come.

    I lost all of 2009 due to treatments.  2010 wasn't much better because I was dealing with 7 fractures (2 different accidents).  I am hoping 2011 is going to be better. 

    I just had a follow up mammogram - yes it was very upsetting.  The orders from the doctor was to get a diagnostic mammo on the right breast (my cancer was on the left side) and an ultrasound on the left breast as I still have swelling in my left arm from breaking it in 3 places.  Well I go in and they will only do a screening on the right breast!  Now they are telling me to get back ASAP for a left breast mammo.  I meet with my orthopedic surgeon next week and I will see if he recommends I do that now or wait longer. 

    A year ago I would have been in a total panic.  I will say that when I went for my mammo I went into a full blown anxiety attack.  I have been told that as years go by, it does get better.

  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited February 2011

    After 14 months of hell i wanna be fine NOW...im acting like a spoiled child but im sooooo done with all of this.im not doing any of the ALs.gonna look for a DO and i already changed my diet.everything organic....I DONT WANT ANYMORE MEDS.Im on a roll now.Im gonna join the natural girls and pray it works and i have enuf $$$$$ to do it.God bless us all fighting this moster.Please God we need a cure.huggggggggggs K

  • Rocket
    Rocket Member Posts: 1,197
    edited February 2011

    Hang in there Granny!  We're all proud of you for finishing your treatments.  I understand how you feel about the letdown after all is done.  I went through the same thing.  Some days I still do and I finished rads in July of 2010.  Give yourself time to recover and heal emotionally too. 

  • jan508
    jan508 Member Posts: 1,330
    edited February 2011

    rocket:

    Where in NC?

  • bevin
    bevin Member Posts: 1,902
    edited February 2011

    Yeahhhh!! good news for you. I am so happy to hear you're close to the end.  You'll need to celebrate!

  • NativeMainer
    NativeMainer Member Posts: 10,462
    edited February 2011

    The annual mammogram sessions got worse for me every year, not better.  Even after a mastectomy, knowing that I'd be called back every year for more looks at the "stable abnormal" area threw me into panic attacks at every session.  They would have to put me in an emtpy office or exam room becuase i was so upset I was upsetting the other women there.  Thank God for risk reducing mastectomies and bilateral reconstructions.  No more  mammogram torture sessions, ever again! 

  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited February 2011
    Do we ever really truly heal emotionally??????I sure hope so.
  • jan508
    jan508 Member Posts: 1,330
    edited February 2011

    Granny:

    I sure hope we heal emotionally!!!! I'm only 6 months into this and sometimes it's too much to bear!

    Jan

  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited February 2011

    I am 14 months into this....the A type personality doesnt help much either.Im tryin tho.I think the rage is the hardest part to get rid of....i do meditation,exercise and read self help books....nothing helps the anger and the rage.some days are worst then others.It seems like i fly off the handle in a second.It used to take me a lot longer.the gift that keeps giving.bc sure does suk.

  • ananda8
    ananda8 Member Posts: 2,755
    edited February 2011

    grannydukes,

    Describe your anger.  Who are you angry with?  If you aren't angry with a person then what are you angry about?  What does the anger accomplish?  Is the anger useful at all?  Are you angry because it helps you to feel like you are "fighting"?

    I am not really asking for answers to my questions but just trying to help you analyze your anger, pick it a part so you can put some of it aside.

    I never felt angry but I have felt tremendous fear and I picked my fear apart by asking myself questions and analyzing my answers.  It helped me overcome my fear, at least up until now. Wink  I hope this process will help you.  By the way, this process can be used with meditation.  It's called Insight Mediation.

    Best wishes.

  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 8,046
    edited February 2011

    im tryin to figure who and what im angry at.hmmmmmm lets see.im angry at this beast of a disease.im angry that there is a cure but its all about $$$$$$$.im angry 7 drs told me to go on prempro and now its linked to bc.Im angry that the #10 dr in America did all the wrong things to me and required 2 additional surgeries.Im angry that my friends 40 yr.old daughter just died from pancreatic cancer.Im very angry that my SIL is in a coma and my brother has pneumonia and i cannot go to the hospital to see either one of them because my immune system is compromised.i could go on and on...imagine if i didnt meditate or do exercise...thanks for asking and letting me get this off my chest.

  • shells43
    shells43 Member Posts: 1,022
    edited February 2011

    Oh GrannyD, hugs to you! We are all emotionally fragile after all of this that we have been through. Glad you can let it out. Wasn't someone throwing dishes on another thread? Maybe we need some dish therapy!

  • ananda8
    ananda8 Member Posts: 2,755
    edited February 2011

    grannydukes,

    You are going through so much anguish as well as anger.  I hope your meditation eventually leads you to a place of equanimity. 

    My arms are around you now.  ((((HUGS))))

  • bevin
    bevin Member Posts: 1,902
    edited February 2011

    HI Ladies - question for you.  I am 46, went into menopause very very young.  I have not had a period in 6 years. Now after 6 years of nothing, estrogen levels below 20, so (menopause) and now a big big big huge period.  Yuck.  The only new thing for me was the arimidex.  Has anyone had this happen.? Interested in what your outcome was. Called my gyno, waiting to hear back from them tomorrow.

  • JustmeAlicia
    JustmeAlicia Member Posts: 1,529
    edited February 2011

    Grannydukes ~ Congrats on being done, and be kind to yourself you have a lot going on in your life.  (((HUGS))) 

    Bevin ~ I would call the gynocologist.  I went into chemopause - no period for a year, then got 3 heavy ones and now it has been gone for 3 months again.  But going 6 years and now getting one seems odd.  Good luck and keep us posted.

    I will say Stage 2 girls, that being 1 year post treatment the anxiety does go to the back of your mind somewhat.  There are days I don't think about it and other days I am anxious.  But I know that it is truly out of my hands, I am behind the wheel but not driving this car'  so I try to be as healthy as I can, exercise, swallow my tamoxifen and Live LIFE !

    Have a great day girls.

    :)

    Alicia

  • Braveheart
    Braveheart Member Posts: 66
    edited February 2011

    Hi everybody,

    May I join? This is my 1st post.

  • bdavis
    bdavis Member Posts: 6,201
    edited February 2011

    Welcome Braveheart.

  • Mybails
    Mybails Member Posts: 29
    edited February 2011
    Jan08 - if your recurrence rate is 12% - your non-recurrence rate is 88%.  I think that's pretty good.  I'm jealous - mines only 83%.  Wink  I like to expect the best outcome.

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