MY life changed forever on 02/03/2006

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karen1956
karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

I thought I posted this but don't see it anywhere....so now lets see if I can remember all I wrote!!!

Today, 02/03/2011 marks 5 years since I was Dx with BC...my world was turned upside down and life as I knew it ended forever!!!  It has been a hard journey, but I'm still here.

BCO has been my support group...I tried an "in person" one and couldn't stand it and never went back after the first time....I am blanking on so many names, so I'm not going to name gals, but you know who you are....you have all helped me along the way...offered a listening ear, kind support and words of wisdom and caring....stage 3 gals, TAC chemo girls, aug 2006 rads, the AI threads to name a few....some of my cyber friends no longer frequent bco, but some of them, we still keep in touch...I've had the good fortune to meet a few bco friends in person....I've made close friendships that I am greatful for......YES, I wish I never had to go down the journey or have a reason to need bco, but since I did, I'm glad that you are all here :)

The day started out hard....actually it started to get hard last night....around 8:30 or 9:00, I went into my bedroom to lay down for a couple minutes and gather my bearings....well, I couldn't move and dosed off....when hubby came to bed after 10, I got took off my clothes and went to bed....then I slept terrible, waking up repeatedly through the night.....hard morning....didn't really want to get out of bed, and if I didn't have an 8:15 appt, may have stayed in bed all morning....but got up a little before DD left for school.....she gave me a few extra hugs....but didn't say anything...jumped into the shower and got dressed...by then, DH had just come home from synagogue with a bunch of pink (yes, I am one of the weird ones who likes pink) tulips that he was putting in a vase....DD had made me a beautiful picture that was decorated with  pink ribbons and spray paint and said "wishing you love on the anniversary of the most (underlined) dreadful news" love Miriam....I almost cried when I saw it (but of course, I can't cry anymore)....DS left me a kind, sweet voice mail, saying he was thinking of me and then posted a note on fb...5 years ago my mom heard the most awful news a woman can hear. Mom wishing you many more cancer free years.....and a few of his friends wrote sweet comments to his post...and my oldest DD called me in the afternoon.....My kids were 7, 16 and 19 when I was Dx...they have matured into some fine young adults and one almost teen-ager.  I could never have made it without the support of my children and DH.

Almost forgot what I was writing and had to scroll up and see....I was writing about my day....I started the day with my new therapist.....then later met one of my dearest bff for a museum tour and lunch....I tell you, for someone who has not been down this road, she really gets what I am saying and going through.....and this evening, I talked to another dear, dear friend who I met through bco.....just hearing her voice made me feel better..

To the newbies....bc is hard and there is no way to describe it as than it just s****!!!!  But it is doable and you will get to the other side.....

I look forward to growing into an old cranky lady with all of you...right now I'm a cranky middle age lady, so I just need to grow old!!!  HUGS, Karen

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited February 2011

    Well, this made me cry! What a wonderful family you have.

    Huge congratulations on reaching 5 years, heres to another 50!

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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited February 2011

    Ohh, I got teary eyed reading this, too!  Karen, we've said this before, but it bears repeating.  We will be toasting each other at our 25 year anniversary.  I love my s3s!

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  • elmcity69
    elmcity69 Member Posts: 998
    edited February 2011

    Chalk up another teary eyed gal...this is beautiful. Congrats on 5 years....may it be 45 or whatever you dream of!

    hugs

    janyce

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  • caaclark
    caaclark Member Posts: 936
    edited February 2011

    Karen- Congratulations on 5 years!!!!!  What a great post you have written!  Thanks for sharing and I will think of you when I have a glass of cold white wine tonight.  Cheers!

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  • Kindergarten
    Kindergarten Member Posts: 4,869
    edited February 2011

    Dear Karen, Congratulations, this was such a beautiful post, this toast is for you and you will have many more celebrations. Keep this celebration going all weekend. God bless you, Kathy

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  • cd1234
    cd1234 Member Posts: 169
    edited February 2011

    Congratulations on five years. Thank you for sharing.

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  • Let-It-Be
    Let-It-Be Member Posts: 325
    edited February 2011

    Congratulations Karen!  So beautiful, I'm blubbering over here!

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  • yellowfarmhouse
    yellowfarmhouse Member Posts: 279
    edited February 2011

    Thanks for sharing your story. Those first days were so scary and awful.  BC is an awful disease and we all hope and pray that there can be better treatments.

    On my way home from work today, I passed by the cancer center where I was treated and thought about what the date is today.  It's been 6 years.  6 years ago I never thought that I'd be alive much less working a new job teaching physical therapy and never dreamed that I wouldn't think about cancer every minute of the day.  I had a chance to share with my students about my diagnosis to increase awareness and help them be more informed as they treat people who have or are dealing with cancer. 

    I am also thankful to have had 6 more years as a mama.  My kids were 2-11 and are now 10-17.When I hear people lament the teen years, I just smile inside and realize that no matter how hard it is being a parent, it's a gift to be alive and able to weather the storms of growing up with them.

    BC.org has been an enormous blessing to me too.  Met so many wonderful friends and did treatment together.  The ladies here have always been so encouraging and yet willing to tell me " like it is."   

     May you and all our wonderful sisters here have many more healthy days, years, decades. Karen , best wishes to you and your family.  

    Blessings,

    Wendy

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  • Kathleen26
    Kathleen26 Member Posts: 210
    edited February 2011

    Congrats on your cancerversary, Karen!   It's through posts like this that we all get to know each other a little better, and now every time I see you post I will think of your daughter Miriam, and picture the card she made for you.   I hope for many more cards for you, and that we will hear of your daughter becoming an adult too.

    Our lives changed forever, but now every single day is so precious.

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  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited February 2011

    Thanks everyone for your support and wishes....

    Wendy congrats on 6 years :)

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  • americanpinay
    americanpinay Member Posts: 338
    edited February 2011

    Congratulations! Wishing you many more years! Cheers!

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  • sugarplum
    sugarplum Member Posts: 318
    edited February 2011

    Sister Karen - love your post & I'm 2 months behind you - I too remember so well what happened on my diagnosis day - and life is forever divided into BEFORE cancer and AFTER cancer. I had no idea that I'd still be here living a relatively healthy life. Thank you for reminding me of my many blessings!

    Watch for me & my five-year post in April!

    Julie 

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  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited February 2011

    Karen,  Thank you for coming here to share this 5 year milestone.  It's good for our spirits to know that others have gone down this road and are doing fine... better than fine.  Many more years ahead.  Hugs, G.

    Wendy,  Congratulations to your on 6 years of love and life.  We are changed forever but truly appreciate what we have.  Lots of happy times ahead with your family and friends.

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  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 1,727
    edited February 2011

    5 years - and many more to come. Thanks for sharing.

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited February 2011

    What a beautiful story, thank you for sharing.

    Congrats!!! on the 5 years!!!!!!!!! Here's to many more..............:

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited February 2011

    Karen, what a wonderful family you have! And to have a BFF that really "gets it" is also a treasure. Your five years will surely be just the start of many, many more.

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  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited February 2011

    Congratulations on 5 years!  To have such a wonderful response from your family tells me that you must be one great mother and wife!  Wishing you a many more good years as you become a crabby, cranky old lady!

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  • JacquelineG
    JacquelineG Member Posts: 282
    edited February 2011

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful story!! You give us all hope!!

    Jackie

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