Fellow "deletees"
Comments
-
althea, I have no idea what you just said!
otter
-
I understood, and agree with, every word! Back to school for you, dear otter!!
-
I have another suggestion for BCO to consider. It may be really expensive or undoable for a technological reason, but I am ignorant in such areas so please excuse me:
One way to stave off hostility is to stay away from temptation. Could BCO create an "ignore this thread" option for individual users, just as you can ignore a member? In the active topics loop, whenever that thread came up, the member who opted to "ignore" it would simply see text such as "You are ignoring this topic." I would even prefer a function that doesn't even let you know the topic is in the loop, but that would probably require a billion dollar contract with a Department of Defense software maker. :-) -
For the first time ever, I agree with 2tzus. Why should BCO have to spend money to help people ignore a thread?
-
No 2tzus. I guess I need to learn from your virtue.
-
Athena .. I kind've understand .. I sometimes suffer from MTF. (moth-to-flame syndrome)
Bren
-
I think we all do, Bren. It always happens that when things get stirred up in a given thread, new posters chime in, and the number of "views" goes up astronomically. It always happens. If the idea is to help lessen situations in which arbitrary reportings of posts happen, then, amongst other options, one could be to give people the option of ignoring a thread. That way, out of sight, out of mind. Self policing should come from within, but it doesn't always happen. The "ignore" function is just one of many items in a toolbox. Yes, of course one is responsible, etc.... but the point is, we are giving suggestions in the area of moderation.
-
Alpal: The reason why I brought it up is because we have heard from Melissa (see this thread, a few pages back) that they are working on some changes and adding new personnel to BCO's moderation/tech team, etc.... Having an "ignore thread" option might be very expensive for all I know. That is why I said it might not work. I have no intention of making BCO spend money to help people appease themselves. Ignore features are common parts of forums, though. Is there something in the air here?
-
Athena - I have the the worst case of MTF syndrome ever! I'm constantly talking to myself and sitting on my hands! And usually it's because of threads which I have never posted on and have no business posting on (I lurk a lot!!) I guess I think if I can control myself, others should be able to also. Maybe we can start a MTF support group. I certainly could use some help!
-
Great idea! I always stick my nose in where it doesn't belong too. As for self control, ahhh there is a loaded topic (in my case)!
-
I am also very guilty of MTF syndrome. I don't slow down for car wrecks, train wrecks tho. But these intense conversations are hard to pass up. And yes, I post, too. Get out the wet noodles for lashings.!
-
Ah geez Dotti .. I'm guilty of the occasional MTF syndrome. I'm reading some intense conversations right now on a particular thread. I'm glued to it like a great novel. (I'm not talking about Blue's thread.)
People throwing other people under a bus .. posts are getting reported, etc. Yep MTF syndrome ... can't help myself!
Bren
-
MTF???? can't figure out the acronym....of course when you tell me, I;m going to feel really dumn
-
MTF is "moth to the flame". As in, you know nothing good will come of going to certain threads, but you just can't stay away.
-
Willpower is higly overrated. I need a 12 step program. I am addicted to some of these threads!!
-
I just wanted to chime in with my sincere thanks to our beloved mods for listening to our concerns and taking action. Thanks, Melissa!
I have some MTF going on as well, FWIW.
-
Barbara, good to see you back! I hope it was a wonderful celebration. As for MTF, my mother told me never to eavesdrop, becuse I might hear something I would wish I hadn't heard. Sort of the same thing here I guess, but still -- hard to resist!
Cheers, Linda
-
Nice to see you all here - and Barbara, I had no idea you had gone on holiday.
I would say that anyone posting on this particular thread has to have MTF syndrome. This isn't exactly about breast cancer.
Horrendous as things have gotten on BCO, I am glad Melissa is working to step in. Now for some brainstorming on permanent changes. I have wanted to start a major comorbidities thread for ages but no longer want to until we are able to shake off foreign invaders from other forums of resident trolls, etc...
Edited 8:59 pm Sun. Jan. 30 to add - after two posts that follow were written: I finally saw it: I meant "....forums oR resident trolls" not oF (n ow I undserstanbd why I was shaking my head a bit earlier). Meaning the "invaders are one group and the "resident trolls" are another. They may be one and the same but I don't know. Sorry. I'm a workaholic and I don't have the time to find out. I don't even have any business being here.
-
Patmom wrote me the following PM. Since this is a public issue, I will repost here:
I believe that your post on the deletees thread calling women who come to this board and these threads for support and for a break from BC "foreign invaders from other forums of resident trolls," deserves to be reported and removed. I won't do that right now, I'll give you time to consider editing yourself.
Most of those women you refer to have been on both forums for years longer than you've been on this one. They aren't foreign invaders, they are women dealing with a lousy disease who come to a support board. That they have different political leanings than you is not a reason to try to get them banned from this board.
Patmom,
I think you may be making some associations that I am not - or you think I know more than I do. By "foreign" I meant another web site. By "invadors" I meant the idea that what was going on elsewhere was having an impact here on BCO. No individual was on my mind. Why? Because I don't know any. I saw that other web site once about three months ago and haven't gone back since. I have no idea who posts there. Some posts here say that people there have mentioned people here by name and that is all I know. Don't even know who has been mentioned. I don't have time to do that much digging.
I know we have resident trolls because of the posts I read here, but I don't know who these people are. I have no idea whether "Jane Doe" on the other site and "Jane Doe" here are the same people, or if they use different handles that everyone knows about.
My MTF syndrome is limited to BCO. I really haven't ventured out as much.
I don't care what anybody's political leanings are right now and they are certainly of ZERO importance in comparison to anyone's need for support. I don't need you to describe the disease that BC is. I know it and I urge you to respect that.
I only care if a person is a troll or not (for the benefit of this discussion). The person whose posts I have considered most trollish on BCO lately - I honestly have no idea what her political leanings are. I couldn't tell you the first thing about that. So when you say I am trying to get them banned from BCO for that reason that is a false accusation, which I hereby clarify.
I will leave it up to you whether you want to report a post of mine. That is your responsibility and prerogative.
I do not believe in trading PMs based on threats to report. I thank you for communicating with me and expressing your views. I hope you continue to do so publicly. I appreciate the chance to (hopefully) clarify some of your questions.
-
I have reported both posts.
-
Thank you. This should hopefully help Melissa and the BCO crew as they go about making the upgrades/changes that she discussed on this thread a few pages ago.
-
Hello Again All, I think that it is sincerely best NOT to discuss the other site. We not not want to worry about what is said there, or any cross-over. As long as people are kind, and focussed on support HERE, I don't see any reason to even discuss "trolls" or other boards. It should not affect the women here. As I said in other posts, BCO cannot moderate or comment on what is said on the other boards. We are fully aware of them, and can choose to read there, but there is no moderation from our end that can be done --- nor would we want to get involved. We find it regrettable that people are getting hurt, regardless of where, or how. BCO can only try and figure out how to manage the tone, mood and overall climate here. We do not want people hurt more than they have already been by this god-awful disease and what life has otherwise dealt.We will continue to strive to be a place that people want to come, to find love, support and friendship. We find totally sad and inhumane if anyone would choose to hurt this goal, and to pain people (think especially of the newbies) who need support the most. Please understand, we do not do this for "big bucks" - We do it because we sincerely care, and want to continue to provide this service, free of charge, to those who need it most. We work very hard for this. We can only ask that those posting on the other boards, as well as on our board, remember the real reason for the BCO boards: the women, the families, the friends who are dealing with the fear, the terror, the side effects of treatment, their self-images, their relationships --- and some who are even dealing with their death. Please, please remember these people each time you post.The respect, understanding, support and nuturing of women of all backgrounds, ages, and stages of the disease...... this is what our boards are all about. Please, let's drop it and move forward. Thank you.
-
Thanks Melissa.
-
Well said, Melissa.
-
I'm still concerned over the fact that some posters have two, three and four user accounts. It just doesn't seem right .. and there's no reason for it.
Bren
-
Bump.
-
BinVA, I agree. At other boards where I participate having more than one account is considered grounds for banning. I was very surprised to see that isn't the case here.
-
They have 3 or 4 user accounts with the same email address? Or do they have 3 or 4 hotmail accounts?
-
Mary .. I don't know how it works, but I would guess you would need many different email addresses. My interent provider gives us 7 different email accounts we can use. Of course they're all the same IP address though.
Bren
-
How can you tell they are the same posters? By their style of writing, I suppose, and the way they try to stir things up?
Categories
- All Categories
- 679 Advocacy and Fund-Raising
- 289 Advocacy
- 68 I've Donated to Breastcancer.org in honor of....
- Test
- 322 Walks, Runs and Fundraising Events for Breastcancer.org
- 5.6K Community Connections
- 282 Middle Age 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 53 Australians and New Zealanders Affected by Breast Cancer
- 208 Black Women or Men With Breast Cancer
- 684 Canadians Affected by Breast Cancer
- 1.5K Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
- 455 Caring for Someone with Stage IV or Mets
- 260 High Risk of Recurrence or Second Breast Cancer
- 22 International, Non-English Speakers With Breast Cancer
- 16 Latinas/Hispanics With Breast Cancer
- 189 LGBTQA+ With Breast Cancer
- 152 May Their Memory Live On
- 85 Member Matchup & Virtual Support Meetups
- 375 Members by Location
- 291 Older Than 60 Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 177 Singles With Breast Cancer
- 869 Young With Breast Cancer
- 50.4K Connecting With Others Who Have a Similar Diagnosis
- 204 Breast Cancer with Another Diagnosis or Comorbidity
- 4K DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)
- 79 DCIS plus HER2-positive Microinvasion
- 529 Genetic Testing
- 2.2K HER2+ (Positive) Breast Cancer
- 1.5K IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer)
- 3.4K IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)
- 1.5K ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma)
- 999 Just Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastasis
- 652 LCIS (Lobular Carcinoma In Situ)
- 193 Less Common Types of Breast Cancer
- 252 Male Breast Cancer
- 86 Mixed Type Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned
- 189 Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care
- 488 Second or Third Breast Cancer
- 1.2K Stage I Breast Cancer
- 313 Stage II Breast Cancer
- 3.8K Stage III Breast Cancer
- 2.5K Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
- 13.1K Day-to-Day Matters
- 132 All things COVID-19 or coronavirus
- 87 BCO Free-Cycle: Give or Trade Items Related to Breast Cancer
- 5.9K Clinical Trials, Research News, Podcasts, and Study Results
- 86 Coping with Holidays, Special Days and Anniversaries
- 828 Employment, Insurance, and Other Financial Issues
- 101 Family and Family Planning Matters
- Family Issues for Those Who Have Breast Cancer
- 26 Furry friends
- 1.8K Humor and Games
- 1.6K Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts
- 706 Recipe Swap for Healthy Living
- 704 Recommend Your Resources
- 171 Sex & Relationship Matters
- 9 The Political Corner
- 874 Working on Your Fitness
- 4.5K Moving On & Finding Inspiration After Breast Cancer
- 394 Bonded by Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Life After Breast Cancer
- 806 Prayers and Spiritual Support
- 285 Who or What Inspires You?
- 28.7K Not Diagnosed But Concerned
- 1K Benign Breast Conditions
- 2.3K High Risk for Breast Cancer
- 18K Not Diagnosed But Worried
- 7.4K Waiting for Test Results
- 603 Site News and Announcements
- 560 Comments, Suggestions, Feature Requests
- 39 Mod Announcements, Breastcancer.org News, Blog Entries, Podcasts
- 4 Survey, Interview and Participant Requests: Need your Help!
- 61.9K Tests, Treatments & Side Effects
- 586 Alternative Medicine
- 255 Bone Health and Bone Loss
- 11.4K Breast Reconstruction
- 7.9K Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 2.7K Complementary and Holistic Medicine and Treatment
- 775 Diagnosed and Waiting for Test Results
- 7.8K Hormonal Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 50 Immunotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 7.4K Just Diagnosed
- 1.4K Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy
- 5.2K Lymphedema
- 3.6K Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment
- 591 Pain
- 3.9K Radiation Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 8.4K Surgery - Before, During, and After
- 109 Welcome to Breastcancer.org
- 98 Acknowledging and honoring our Community
- 11 Info & Resources for New Patients & Members From the Team