help im an emotional wreck

Dear carolann,

getting a bc diagnosis is so devastating, you have come to the right place!

Take one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!

The women  on this board have helped me sooooo much,  they are amazing, we are all here for

you. You will be in my prayers!

I'm so sorry you had to join this club, but it will be ok  and we will be here!

God bless you,

Sttephanie

Gosh - I was terrified too about the treatments... I started reading all the things that could happen to me and I went a little nuts.  I was crying and freaking out in the kitchen.  My dh pitched the cancer info in the garbage and told me to just move ahead, do what came next, and try hard not to over analyze it.  My MX went smoothly - no reconstruction... and some days I still grieve the loss a lot.  My chemo went fine... sure it wasn't great - but all the things I was worried about - including even my sex life... was just that - worries.  My radiation was tough... but I made it through.  The tamoxifen has some side effects - but I am moving through those and coping as well.  Get depressed some days, but a lot of support - just by reading other posts and knowing I am not alone and someone on here would have an answer if I needed it.  You can do it...

starbeauty gave you some excellant advice.  remember this is one place where people really do know what you are going through.

i had my surgery just one year ago, and you can and will get through this.  i am stage III also.  this site was a tremendous help to me.  best suggestion is to join the group having surgery the same month as you-- then do the same for chemo/radiation.  it was empowering to have my 'sisters' to follow along with during this journey.  those having surgery before shared their experiences & suggestions, and those little things were very helpful in dealing with it all.

allow yourself to feel what you feel & go ahead & grieve.  here you can do so without trying to justify yourself.  friends & family may mean well, but often just don't 'get it'.  if you have specific questions, ask away.  there is a wealth of knowledge here.  {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

look for the february 2011 mastectomy  in surgery before and after.

Sorry to hear about your dx., this is the absolute best site...you're going to love it!  I was dx the end of July myself and just had my BMX last week after doing 8 rounds of chemo.  It's not a road I would have choose but I'm here and I made and you will too.  I had pity parties and obsessed over it at first but you learn to relax a bit as time goes.  Get ready for an emotional rollercoaster ride, it's that way for us all so don't feel like your alone or crazy.  Just hop on here and get it out to others who understand & we do   Stay strong and we're here if you need us. 

we all do understand. take a deep breath.  the most important part right now is surgery...then the treatment.  the chemo and rads will kill any left over cancer cells.  take it one day at at time; this is all so very scarey but you will get through this. try to not get so far ahead of yourself and thinking "what if"  you are in treatment and that is a good place to be.  use the boards and ask for help.  there is a lot to work though but you can do it.  i remember clearly the early part of diagnosis and treatment. remember, your doctor treats cancer; that is all they do.  every day.  they know what they are doing. 

 i am all most 9 years out. there are many of us doing well and living life.  just try to hang in there....do one day at at time. this is very important. don't give up and try to trust your treatment and the people taking care of you. they know what they are doing.

hugs

Carolann.....I'm glad that you found us, but sorry that you needed to....the gals here are wonderful....a wealth of information and support.....Stage 3 is scary.....but there are lots of us still kicking....Thursday will be 5 years since my Dx......I had bilat, chemo, rads, ooph and AI's....it is a hard journey, but it is doable.....come and visist us often and let us know how you are doing and lean on us for support......HUGS...Karen

Hi carol ann.

I am sorry to have a new member to this forum, but you will be ok. Don't freak out too much about the Stage III thing.

 What it does for us is kicks us into much more aggressive treatment. Think Big Guns.

I am almost 6 yrs out with  a very " bad a**" tumor type,and was very scared too. However , thanks to these boards , a great medical team, many prayers and lots of love. I am back to me.

Please take good care of yourself at this time. Have faith, surround yourself only with positive people.

DO NOT surf the web. There are alot of sacry ( and outdated stats out there that do not reflect current treaments.

Come to these boards often for support and accurate info.

We've all been there and will help you.

Carolann,

Honestly, it's one day at a time.  Don't read too much about what you are going through, because you can always find "less than positive" stories out there.  We've all been where you are.  Here I am now about 4.5 years from diagnosis, and I'm just so thankful and hopeful.  It wasn't always that way.  But honestly, the chemo was very doable.  I worked through chemo and rads, and even kept up with running and staying in shape. 

Now is the time to just plow through all the treatments, and try to find some calming things to do along the way.  Spend time with friends who make you happy, take some time to read that book that you haven't had time to read, SERIOUSLY. 

We are here for you.

Hugs

Bobbie

Carolann,

I am so sorry about your diagnosis, but happy you found us!  It IS scary, but I will say the words these ladies said so many times to me YOU CAN DO THIS!  It's much like learning a language you never wanted to learn, and without a teacher, so that's where we come in.  We can answer any and all questions you have, and just be here for you to have a shoulder when you need it.

Keep us posted on how you are doing!

Love,

Sharon

P.S. I just returned last Friday from my reconstruction surgery---never thought I'd be here at this point---but you will too---just wait and see!!! ::))

Carolann - welcome and I'm sorry you had to find your way here.  The advice given by the others is good and you will get through this.  Take it one day at a time and know that we're here for you.

Babyswim - I remember what it's like when you're wondering when you'll go to a doc appt and not hear more bad news.  My DH and I were so happy when that day finally arrived!  Once you get to that point you know that you have no direction to go but up!  And that's how it felt for me once I started treatment.

carolann - The staging numbers are really for the docs.  It helps them figure out the treatment path.  I know it feels like a stone around your neck but we do get through this and keep going with our lives. 

Like the other ladies have said - one step at a time.  I just looked at the 3 big things: chemo, surgery and rads.  I would only pay attention to the one that was in front of me and completely ignore the other two.  I've come a long, long way and it's a place where you'll be, also.

Karina,

There are many different reasons for neoadjuvant chemo (chemo first).  It can be used to try and shrink the tumor so a lumpectomy can be performed instead of a masectomy.  Some oncs like to do chemo first so they can evaluate how well the cancer responds (or not) to the chemo.  If the cancer is removed first, then they have nothing to measure.  In my case they felt that my cancer was aggressive so they were concerned that I might have cancer cells circulating elsewhere.  They didn't want to wait for the surgery and healing time.  And sometimes they do the surgery first thinking it's at a lesser stage and then discover that it was actually stage 3.

Hope this helps.