Depression and "stigma"

thaskett; i'm so sorry for your experiences. i've had friends that have done the very same thing, mis judging their dosages. hell, i've done the same with other meds... tooka dose forgetting i already took one.. that's part of my routine now, since chemo. i have a book by my bed, and i write everything i take. it helps me keep track of what i'meating too, as im diabetic..

   i lost a lot of friends at first, with the dx and tx.. and, am still losing some; the latest told me i was always so sick and slow, and can't keep up anymore.. and she knew the hell i went thru in tx.. the nerve!!

   i agree with you; the "unfriending " is more vicious in many ways, than just ignoring you; or saying something directly to you.  i DO think there's a stigma IRL with depression, i tell ple.. don't worry, its' nnot catchy.. i also know alot of the depression in bc is post traumatic , and doesn't go away overnight. we've made it a funny (SIC) topic on one of the threads.. the dumbest things ple have said to you..

   i suffer greatly fom bouts of depression; i have multiple health problems aside from b.c. i just aloow myself 3 mental health days, and then, i kick myself back into gear.. you an always pm me; if ya just want an ear.. the ladies are great hear, great listeners. and believe you, me, girl, we all get down in the pit from time to time. the rule is; with your friends here, they won't letcha stay there too long!! be well.    3jaysmom

I think for me part of the problem is that I've withdrawn some from some of my friends...things that never bothered me before, now bother me....I still see most of my friends preBC, but I know that our friendship is not the same...it bothers me that we are not as close, but I don't think it will ever go back...and I take responsibility...maybe thats part of my depression and PTSD (not formally Dx with PTSD, but I know in my heart that is what I am struggling with).

Tshaskett...I am sorry that so called friends deserted you in a time of need!!!  Karen

thaskett:  I am so sorry about the way you were treated when you needed understanding and compassion the most.  If "Mental Illness" is a stigma then I think the world has millions of people with so called "Stigmas".  I thought that kind of thinking went out with "electric shock" treatments for depression!  With all the problems most people have to deal with, economic, family, medical etc. etc. who can say they are "always" mentally fit?   Anyone who pretends to be always happy must never have suffered from a personal illness or faced family tradgedies. 

 I have a feeling with trying to survive bc, you also have had other problems to tangle with like the rest of us.  Just because one gets bc doesn't mean you are protected from having to cope with all the problems life can throw at you.  If depression is a mental illness then I must be ready for lockup!  Between everything else and not the Arimidex caused depression, I don't even think about QOL anymore, just surviving.  I once read in a book that depression is just "Anger turned inward".  So when I am depressed I vent it out or just cry it out by myself in my room.  Then I try to think of things in my life I have to be thankful for, a beautiful beloved DD and I am able to cope for another day.  Does that mean I am nuts!  Well professionals say I am one of the most mentally healthy people they have ever checked out.  They are astounded by my personal way of dealing with my problems and still being able to continue coping.

If your so called friends turned against you for making that bad decision in your time of depression, you need to find other friends.  Just be extra careful with your meds because depression can cause us to become confused and accidents can happen.  Best of luck to you!

Thaskett and all,

Depression sucks!  It hit me hard during my treatment.  As a psychologist, I know very well the stigma associated with a dx of depression.  Thank goodness it is being talked about more and taken seriously.  I am so happy to say that after 2 years I am feeling strong enough to re-focus on my private psychology practice.  I always specialized in women, but now I am putting together some ideas about group and individual therapy for women with bc.  Couldn't we all benefit from some empathy, compassion, understanding, non-judgment and time to reflect on the process of dx and treatment.  Let's honor our feelings sisters!! xo

Hi Letlet,

If you want to, PM me with your location--I have lots of contacts for therapists around the country and I would be happy to help.

xo

Cancercare has counselors all over the place who offer their services for free. I see one almost every week depending on my chemo schedule. When I am unable to go to my appointment we talk over the phone. I feel that I get a bit stronger after each time I talk to a therapist that lasts about two days then I fall apart again. So I go to SHARE meetings or I call the Breast Cancer Network of Strength hotline.

By the say I do similar things to myself like you do. I anticipate things that may or may not happen causing additional pain when in fact there should not be any. A meltdown at work when you return? Hm? Because I still work I can tell you that I have some meltdowns. Chemo blocks serotonin so I weep . Only that I do it at home or in private at work. OK, this time I am at home and DH does not know again what to do. But Letlet, please don't forget  that you are still undergoing chemo just like me. We are still in the middle of it at the moment, with one more cycle to go, therefore, we are not very strong YET!!! Mentally, or physically.  

However, after chemo we'll see and we'll experience things very differently. I am sure of that and I think deep down, you know it too. Though, it may be a while for things to cleanse out of our system, but still. Even if it is really hard to see it righ now b/c crying is the new "norm" for the moment.  Try to put that anticipated "meltdown situation" out of your head. Don't think of what might or might not happen at work. When you are done with chemo and your brain is no more in a fog then you will see how strong your mind is. You probably will be able to withhold "meltdowns" at work and "just" have them at home in private or at the gym punching a sandbag. And people at work will probably look at you in amazement. Maybe working part-time at first would be beneficial to build your strength back, not just your physical strength but your mental strength.

Diagnosis: 7/26/2010, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIa, ER-/PR-, HER2+