Really Scared

I know it is scary but the good thing about us stage 3ers is we get it all - no grey areas with us - we get everything and the kitchen sink and many, MOST, of us do very well for years and years....read the pinned post at the top of the stage 3 board (stage 3 over 5 years) and there is a success stories board as well (I think on the inspiration page). 

I just met a woman last night that was diagnosed Stage 3 (I think - she said the docs told her she was stage 4 but it was a large tumor in her breast and "many" nodes) when she was 36 - she is now 46 and started running last year. Her grandchild just had a baby! 

Take it one day at a time and come here for support.  Realize though, women who are doing well years and years later are out running and taking care of grand children - not posting here!

Good luck!

I am also only 33 and here I am with breast cancer Stage IIIa. I am also really scared. Unlike you, I  do not have children and most likely due to my diagnosis I won't have them in the future either. This is breaking my heart. I think you can draw so much strength because you know you are also doing it for your child. I don't think you can switch to being hopeful straight away, so the best way to deal with your situation might be simply to do what you are told to do simply because someone says so. I wish you all the best for your upcoming treatment.

Tommilyn you have come to the right place to find women who understand what you are feeling and who can also offer insight and advice on getting through treatment. You are right it is very scary, especially where you are now, newly diagnosed and just beginning to navigate the many decisions and emotions that a cancer dx presents.



Now is the time to focus on being as aggressive as you can in fighting this disease. Your tumor pathology is of concern but also not unlike very many women on these boards who have successfully made it through treatment and are now many years out living good, happy lives.


You will have many treatment tools available to you since your pathology should respond to surgery, chemo, rads and hormonals. My suggestion would be to hit it with the big guns now and thoroughly discuss all the options with your oncologist.



Surround yourself with supportive, positive family and friends. Enlist their help to accompany you to doctors appointments as a second pair of ears when you are feeling overwhelmed. Don't be hesitant to ask for help with your childcare and home duties when treatment has you feeling worn out. Now is the time to devote the bulk of your energy to yourself and your treatments. Come here often and ask anything on your mind. No question or feeling you are having has not already been thought or felt by most of us here.



As hard as it may be to believe now, you CAN make it through this! Yes it will be scary and overwhelming and frustrating, but day by day you will get through. One day you will be here like many of us on these forums, several years out living rewarding lives again, but never forgetting the journey it took to get here.

Hello, I am not stage III, I am stage IIb but I am 31 years old and I have a 5 year old daughter and 2 year old son. I was diagnosed last year and yes I was scared! I am almost done with chemo, something that I thought would never come. The fear comes and goes but you learn how to go after it with a baseball bat in your head!!! It will not go away but you will learn to live and deal with it. I am doing all that I can to be alive for my husband and kiddies and that helps me deal with things.

Hi there, first of all, welcome to the club that no one wants to join!  You will find great support from these ladies on the board.  They have been there for me every step of the way.

Being scared is a normal reaction.  I was scared out of my mind when I was first diagnosed.  It doesn't feel like it right now, but it will get easier.

One thing about being d/xed with Stage 3, the kitchen sink and then some gets thrown at us.  We get the full meal deal, and I see you are Her2 positive, so you will be receiving Herceptin as well.  Herceptin is what we call the "mircale drug" and has kept many of us alive and kicking.

I'm just over 2 years from being d/xed.  I check in with the girls every so often and then I disappear for a while, as I am out living my life!

Hang in there.  You will get through it.

It is okay to be afraid, I am 29 years old, and also have small children, 3, 5, & 8. Some days are better than others. On those days I feel like, 'gosh I don't want to get out of bed', my children give me motivation. Use your 2 year old as your motivation. Don't think of the what ifs. It will drive you crazy.

I haven't had surgery yet, so I'm unsure of my staging, but I always think to myself, I don't have cancer, cancer has ME! YOU WILL WIN!

It is definitely a scary place to be.  I realize that I am just echoing above posts but it is so true that there are so many positive stories out there.  Don't put too much stock in the stats.  Most are out of date and treatment has changed dramatically in the last few years.  Yes, you will have the kitchen sink thrown at you.  But that means you don't have to weigh the pros and cons so much as if you were a lower stage.  It needs to be done, IMHO anyways.

 I wish I was near you to help you with your 2 year old.  Please learn to ask friends and family for their help.  They will become another component of your treatment plan.  Sending hugs. 

It is overwhelming to find out you've been diagnosed with cancer, and stage III.  Like the many other women have said - the drs will throw everything at you, surgery, chemo and radiation.  Again, like the others said, take it one day at a time, distract yourself, watch a silly movie or if all else fails have a piece of chocolate.  I know it's hard and we've all done it, but try to stay away from and not focus on statistics, it will drive you crazy.  Make sure that while you're searching the internet for valid information stay with legitimate sites. 

This is the time when you ask for and accept help, you will need it.  Don't try to handle it without help......the simple act of someone cooking a meal, weeding a garden or taking your child for a few hours to play will help you and your family.  And.......suprisingly enough chemo is doable, there are many, many meds to offset the SE's and help you get through the bad days. 

This is a wonderful place for support, help, rants, questions and just rambling on a bad day.  I couldn't have gone through all of this without these boards and women. 

Tommilyn,  Everyone here will help you with your fear.  We've all experienced it and still do.  You're in a great place.  Hugs to you.

Barb

I was 30 at dx and I'm turning 32 in a few weeks. I coming up on 1year since diagnosis and I remember all too well how freaked out I was to find out I was stage 3. It's hard but certainly not hopeless. I finished treatment in the fall and I'm doing great. Just reinforcing what everyone else is saying, we were all where you are and we made it by taking it one day at a time. You'll get there too!

~Colleen 

Great, Tommilynn!  You will start getting better in just a few weeks.  I always hesitate to post this since it's a bit TMI, but I have just finished my 4 cycles of AC and on to Taxol and Herceptin, and have not thrown up, been in significant discomfort, lost a night of sleep, or had even one really bad day.  And I have a "tender tummy", too - nice way of saying I hurl easily, lol.  Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or anything.

My oncologist told me with the great side-effect drugs they have today, 10% will still feel quite unwell, 20% of people will feel pretty much absolutely fine, and 70% will feel well most the time, with a down day here and there.  

DCMom is so right, I think.  Start off exercising, push yourself to do it (obviously within reason).  It makes all the difference in the world.  I am experiencing the bad part of that now - a month off of my regular routine of an hour of walking every day - and I can feel the difference.  It's easy to slack off but it statistically proven to make your treatment work better and help keep it from coming back.  I am all for enjoying life every day and if I want a banana split I will certainly have one, lol...but don't slack on exercise.

Dear Tommilyn,

I was dx a 3C at 41, my son was 4 my daughter 8. I've been married 21 years, it took us 11 to have our babies, so I am a little older mom. My very first words were, I am a mom . I have kids to raise, you got the wrong gal !  I know it is so scarey, I second these wonderful ladies, one day at a time. There are days it's hour to hour. Its been 16 months since they took out my cancer,

they through the big guns at me, and thats what you want my friend,   you are young and you can and will handle it!  You will be in my prayers, I believe in the power of prayer!!  Your 2 year old will

give you the strenght and the will to fight, and you will win this battle. I am so sorry you joined the club nobody wants to be a part of.  I will tell you these sister's are the strongest you will find. They have helped me so much!

Come here we,  are all here for you!,

May God bless you with lots of peace !!!!

stephanie

Sending you a big cyber hug!  I'm scared too.....the oncs never told me my stage but I know from the 'details' that I am stage III.  I think it's best to not think of the stage as I don't really believe that it is a  predictor at all.  I have read great stories about women like us....sometimes with very large tumours, lots of lymph nodes, who are alive many, many years later and other stories about Stage I or II sisters who don't fare so well.  I think doctors 'stage' as best as they can for treatment purposes but it doesn't mean anything in terms of longevity.  I am currently doing dose dense ACT....3 sessions so far with minimal side effects.  I was sitting next to a woman the last go round....she must have been around 70 ....her bc was already stage 4 when she was diagnosed with mets to her bones.....that was 9 years ago!  She is still going strong.  I think eating right, exercising, reducing stress helps alot too.  i have also been trying to go for hour long walks during chemo or a light workout dvd.  When I get scared and down....the women on this board help so much!  Don't forget....as we are going through this right now....there are new treatments being tested so some other new treatment will come out in the next two years.  My onc has suggested I go on a trial for Metformin (the diabetes drug) as early trials indicate that this drug can keep bc from coming back!