Panic at ANYTHING medical related

I panic about everything, medical or otherwise.  I am one big bundle of nerves and I drive myself and those around me crazy.  Eight days ago, my oncologist found a 'suspicious spot' on the margin where I had my mastectomy.  I have to wait until this coming Wednesday to get the biopsy.  I've got myself in such a state and can't get out of it.  I was blessed with a beautiful granddaughter 3 days ago, and even this wonderful event hasn't lessened my anxiety.  I'm rambling, I'm a wreck.  But I think you're acting as normal as a cancer patient can be.  I've tried the breathing exercises, but I too hold my breath a lot.  I hope you find some peace and that your anxiety lessens.

Bookgirl, I am still getting chemo, but as the day draws near, I am crying all day.  I have to leave my desk at work sometimes and cry in the bathroom stall.  I have not seen my PCM or my dentist or the eye doctor because I just can't face seeing another doctor.

Funny, the only one that I am ok with is the PS..I don't know why, but I am really looking forward to the reconstruction and the symmetry surgery.  Weird..

I hate to say it but I am five years out and I still can't stand going to any of my doctors if they are going to do any labwork or imaging tests or anthing where they could possibly find a recurrence.  I get sick to my stomach.  I think that once you are diagnosed with breast cancer you never trust your body again.  I am always afraid they will find something and I will fall down that slippery slope again.  Sometimes I don't think so much about having breast cancer but when I have a doctors appointment, it all comes rushing back just like I was diagnosed last week.  I also worry a lot more about my grown kids, my DH and my parents.  Every little thing they get I think is something serious also.   I hate this feeling - sometimes I think I need to see a counselor.   Right now I am freaked because I waited to have my annual bloodwork until after Christmas and it just came back last week with my liver enzyme tests minimally elevated.  I know that there are lots of things that can cause elevated LFT's and they have been elevated at least 3 times before and are probably due to medications I am taking but that doesn't help.  I am totally freaked about it and don't want to go back and have then retested because I feel fine, no symptoms and I don't want them to find anything.  Am I crazy?? 

I'm newly diagnosed, june 2010 to be exact. I've had bilateral mastectomy and one month ago, I finished 4 rounds of TC.  I too am suffering from panic attacks and my mind takes me to these dark places where every little new pain is automatically cancer related. Does one ever get over these thoughts?  I know that the cancer is gone from my body and I know that the chemo killed off any little cells that were left behind, but my mind won't let me rest. I've become a hypochondriac. I've become obsessed with my pains. I also stop breathing or have shallow breathing when anxious. I saw the dentist before my chemo started to have a cleaning but know that I have to go again and yet I'm more scared than ever before. When does your mind say okay, relax, cancer is gone and live your life... Why is it that with every little ache and pain we automatically go to that place of OMG it's cancer, it's come back... I've never felt anxiety like I've been feeling since June 2010.

Preachin to the choir my sisters!!!!!  lol    I was dx on May 22, 2009.   I HATE HATE HATE going to the doctor about ANYTHING.   My cold can't just be a "cold".  A headache can't just be a "headache"....it has to be a brain tumor.  UGH!!!!!!   Some days are fine, actually most days are but if I'm coming up on an appointment or test I FAAAAREAK!!!!!   I have my 6 month check-up with my oncologist on February 1.   YUCK!!!!!

 I have my year follow-up with my urologist on March 21 where I'll also be having a CT scan and chest x-ray.  PUKE!!!!   When they found my breast cancer and I was going thru all the scans they found out I had a 2 cm tumor dangling from the bottom pole of my kidney.  LUCKY ME had kidney cancer at the same time.  NOT related to the brest cancer thank God!!!!   So, now every year I have to have a CT scan and chest x-ray for the kidney cancer.  It was grade 1 (slowest growing) and my urologist said that kind doesn't usually come back.   Yeah, well I just want the CT to be clear.

So, I'm right along there with ya'll.  I'll be so glad when March 21 is over so I can get a clean bill of health (God willing) and I can quit worrying about this pain in my side, my back hurting, my headache and every other ailment I can think I have. 

Tabatha

Boy do I relate to each and every one of these posts!  I get myself in such a state... I know it's really bad for me because I believe stress has such a negative impact on our immune system and every part of our health and well being, but I cannot control it.  Not just worrying about me, but about every little thing that could possible go wrong my kids, grandson and husband.  Sorry all of you are going through this also, but at least I don't feel like I'm the only one.  Wish they made counseling a part of our treatment, I'm sure I could benefit but at this point I'm so neurotic I'd be afraid they'd find some mental disorder!  Hopefully this all gets better the further out we remain healthy and cancer-free!  All the best to all of you... Veda

Since my dx, I cant seem to deal with anything medically related at all.  Sometimes I think the medical tests are worse for me than not going.  so at this point, I do only what is of utmost importance; ie, mammo, ultrasound, and regular gyno exams.  I also go to onc about 2xs a year.  Ive neglected other things that i probably should do like a colonoscopy, but i think that would take me over the edge.  I worry far in advance of every appt., and always seem to expect the worst.  What a relief when a test or appt is over, but it takes me weeks to re-cooperate after an appt.  I definetely can relate!